INVITATION If you are a dreamer, come in, If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer… If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in!

NO DIFFERENCE Small as a peanut, Red, black or orange, Big as a giant, We’re all the same size When we turn off the light. Rich as a sultan, Poor as a mite, We’re all worth the same Red, black or orange, Yellow or white, We all look the same When we turn off the light. So maybe the way To make everything right Is for God to just reach out And turn off the light!

FOR SALE One sister for sale! One crying and spying young sister for sale! I’m really not kidding, So who’ll start the bidding? Do I hear a dollar? A nickel? A penny? Oh, isn’t there, isn’t there, isn’t there any One kid who will buy this old sister for sale? This crying and spying young sister for sale?

JUMPING ROPE This started out as a jumping rope You prob’ly think that I’m a dope But this started out as a jumping rope And now I fear there is no hope But this started out as a jumping rope.

INVISIBLE BOY And here we see the invisible boy In his lovely invisible house, Feeding a piece of invisible cheese To a little invisible mouse. Oh, what a beautiful picture to see! Will you draw an invisible picture for me?

WHO Who can kick a football From here out to Afghanistan? I can! Who fought tigers in the street While all the policemen ran and hid? I did! Who will fly and have X-ray eyes – And be known as the man no bullet can kill? I will! Who can sit and tell lies all night? I might!

I MUST REMEMBER I must remember… Turkey on Thanksgiving, Pudding on Christmas, Eggs on Easter, Chicken on Sunday, Fish on Friday, Leftovers, Monday. But ah, me – I’m such a dunce. I went and ate them all at once.

CAPTAIN HOOK Captain Hook must remember Never to scratch his toes. Captain Hook must watch out And never pick his nose. Captain Hook must be gentle When he shakes your hand. Captain Hook must be careful Openin’ sardine cans And playing tag and pouring tea And turnin’ pages of his books. Lots of folks I’m glad I ain’t – But mostly Captain Hook!

SMART My dad gave me one dollar bill ‘Cause I’m his smartest son, And I swapped it for two shiny quarters ‘Cause two is more than one! And then I took the quarters And traded them to Lou For three dimes – I guess he don’t know That three is more than two! Just then, along came old blind Bates And just ‘cause he can’t see He gave me four nickels for my three dimes, And four is more than three! And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs Down at the seed-feed store, And the fool gave me five pennies for them, And five is more than four! And then I went and showed my dad, And he got red in the cheeks And closed his eyes and shook his head – Too proud of me to speak!

POINT OF VIEW Thanksgiving dinner’s sad and thankless Christmas dinner’s dark and blue When you stop and try to see it From the turkey’s point of view. Sunday dinner isn’t sunny Easter feasts are just bad luck When you see it from the viewpoint Of a chicken or a duck. Oh how I once loved tuna salad Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too Till I stopped and looked at dinner From the dinner’s point of view.

HAT Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now Dad is saying, “ Where the heck’s the toilet plunger gone!”

INVENTION I’ve done it, I’ve done it! Guess what I’ve done! Invented a light that plugs into the sun. The sun is bright enough, But, oh, there’s only one thing wrong… The cord ain’t long enough.

INVENTION

I WON’T HATCH Oh I am a chickie who lives in an egg, But I will not hatch, I will not hatch. The hens they all cackle, the roosters all beg, For I hear all the talk of pollution and war As the people all shout and the airplanes roar So I’m staying in here where it’s safe and it’s warm, And I WILL NOT HATCH!

SNOWBALL I made myself a snowball As perfect as could be. I thought I’d keep it as a pet And let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas And a pillow for its head. Then last night it ran away, But first – it wet the bed.

SCALE If I could only see the scale, I’m sure that it would state That I’ve lost ounces… maybe pounds Or even tons of weight. “You’d better eat some pancakes — You’re skinny as a rail.” I’m sure that’s what the scale would say… If I could see the scale.

CRYSTAL BALL Come see your life in my crystal glass— Twenty-five cents is all you pay. Let me look into your past— Here’s what you had for lunch today: Tuna salad and mashed potatoes, Green pea soup and apple juice, Collard greens and stewed tomatoes, Chocolate milk and lemon mousse. You admit I’ve told it all? Well, I know it, I confess, Not by looking in my ball, But just by looking at your dress.

SAFE? I look to the left, I look to the right, Before I ever Move my feet. No cars to the left, No cars to the right, I guess it’s safe To cross the street….

THE MONKEY 1 little monkey Was goin’ 2 the store When he saw a banana 3 He’d never climbed be4. By 5 o’clock that evenin’ He was 6 with a stomach ache ‘Cause 7 green bananas Was what that monkey 8.

THE MONKEY II By 9 o’clock that evenin’ That monkey was quite ill, So 10 we called the doctor Who was 11 on the hill. The doctor said,” You’re almost dead. Don’t eat green bananas no more.” The sick little monkey groaned and said, “ But that’s what I 1-2 the 3-4.”

SHARING I’ll share your toys, I’ll share your money, I’ll share your toast, I’ll share your honey, I’ll share your milk and your cookies too— The hard part’s sharing mine with you.

BIG EATING CONTEST The entrance fee cost me Two dollars, and then It cost twenty more For those burgers and fries. My hospital bill Was a hundred and ten. But I won— The five-dollar first prize!

DON THE DYRAGON’BIRTHDAY Here he comes across the lake. He’s comin’ for his birthday cake. Sing “Happy Birthday, Dragon Don,” And watch him blow the candles… on.

WRITER WAITING Oh this shining new computer— There just isn’t nothin’ cuter. It knows everything the world ever knew. And with this great computer I don’t need no writin’ tutor, ‘Cause there ain’t a single thing that it can’t do. It can sort and it can spell, It can punctuate as well. It can find and file and underline and type. It can edit and select, It can copy and correct, So I‘ll have a whole book written by tonight (Just as soon as it can think of what to write.)

ALPHABALANCE Balancing my ABCs Takes from noon to half past three. I don’t have time to grab a T Or even stop to take a P.

GARDENER We gave you a chance To water the plants. We didn’t mean that way— Now zip up your pants.

WE’RE OUT OF PAINT,SO… Let’s paint a picture with our food. For red we’ll squeeze these cherries. For purple let’s splash grape juice on. For blue we’ll use blueberries. For black just use some licorice. For brown pour on some gravy. For yellow you can dip your brush In the egg yolk you just gave me. We’ll sign our names in applesauce And title it “ Our Luncheon,” And hang it up for everyone To stop… and see… and munch on.

THEY SAY I HAVE… They say I have my father’s nose, My grandpa’s eyes, My mother’s hair. Could it be that my behind’s The only thing that’s really mine?