FORGIVENESS What does God say are some of the more practical aspects of forgiving and being forgiven?

Some Clarification Some place in the forgiveness category things that may not be sinful- Passed over for promotion Someone not expressing as much concern for your situation as you think they should Someone not having you over Someone not calling when you are sick of other difficult occasion Not being invited to a social event Someone does not talk to you at assemblies for worship

TWO EXTREMES Refusal to forgive, even when people have repented – Matthew 18:29,30 Granting a quick and superficial forgiveness before they express any repentance Matthew 18:15 “go and reprove him” Luke 17:3 “if he repents, forgive him” We have sinned against God and others in the past – Ephesians 4:32 If we play the part of a “helpless victim” waiting for an apology, who is going to get all of God’s work done?

PRACTICAL ADVICE FOR THE PERSON SINNED AGAINST Earnestly desire that God be glorified Remember your own sins – Ephesians 4:32 God takes forgiveness seriously – if we refuse to forgive, we will not be forgiven- Matthew 6:14,15 We cannot change the rules – Luke 17:3,4 When we deal with matters in God’s ways, we have hope that some good may come from it – Genesis 50:20

PRINCIPLES TO SHARE WITH THE PERSON WHO HURT YOU Be honest about how much a sin hurt you Encourage the sinner – “I know you can change, you are better that this” Forgiveness will be much easier if there are no excuses – Luke 15:19; 18:14 We cannot remove all the consequences – 2 Samuel 12:13,14,11

ADVICE FOR THE SINNER Obligation to the person sinned against – Matthew 5:23-25 An apology is not necessarily the same thing as repentance – Before you ask for forgiveness, need to decide you are truly going to change Do not campaign – start preaching to the person sinned against Be glad for whatever hard consequences fall on your head Do not spread blame around to other people

THINGS TO SAY “What can I do to help you forgive me?” “I will pray to you, I know this puts you in a difficult situation.” “I understand your need time – so would I.” “Pray for me, obviously I have a deep spiritual problem, and I worry that I will not be able to beat it.” “I realize that true repentance is supposed to have fruits (Acts 26:20)”

THINGS TO SAY “Please hold me accountable, I don’t need that right now.” “I understand that all sin will condemn us, but I realize that this sin, because it was so personal, or committed in such a close relationship, may have more consequences.”

“But I Cannot Forgive Myself” Joseph didn’t forget what his brothers had done to him Paul never forgot that he had persecuted Christians (1 Timothy 1:13-15) Forgiving & forgetting are not the same thing: God forgives but remembers we were sinners (Ephesians 2:1-3) Rooted in same basic issue – not trusting God when He says something Study God! Learn about Him. Track record for keeping promises.