Is it a Healthy Relationship? *

*

Make a sculpture to represent it. Read and discuss the card: Have you seen any relationships like this in real life? What behaviors would be seen in that type of relationship? How would it feel if you were in this relationship? Brainstorm symbols, images or scenes that would represent this kind of relationship. Make a sculpture to represent it.

Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved. Red Canoe symbolizes: Our couple is together Bring their child along-little purple Red Heart symbolizes: They enjoy romantic canoe rides Water symbolizes: Waves and rocks are challenges just like in relationships Oars symbolize: Both work on the relationship just like you’d work hard to make it down the river It’s worth the effort Their relationship is like a team rowing together Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved. The woman is bowing down to the man with big fists. Orange Line symbolizes that he feels she is not even worthy to step on his side. She cannot cross the line. Green Figure symbolizes her friend and fact she has to beg for permission to see her friend, or to do anything.. Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.

HEALTHY ? or UNHEALTHY ? Jessica..I don’t’ know about this font. This is the flashcard activity (used to use it for Eros and agape… I am using it for a quick review of words that tell the rel is healthy or unhealthy. Fix as you like… *

Examine a current or past relationship (or a friend’s). Workbook pages 20-21 Examine a current or past relationship (or a friend’s). Ask the 3 questions. Put an “X” on the line to best represent how the relationship feels. Identify three behaviors to make the relationship healthier.

Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved. Create a list of ideas according to: COST: Free, low-cost, medium-cost, and higher price tag TIME: 5 minutes or less, half hour, a couple hours, an evening, a whole day and a weekend. And, don’t forget to throw in a “dream” idea or two. VARIETY: Mix it up—don’t always do the same thing. Try new things. Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.

Plan for fun—don’t get lazy. Do different things! Keep a list handy— keep adding ideas.

Is it Time? How to Do It? Moving Forward Tips for Parents *

Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved. HOW HEALTHY IS MY RELATIONSHIP? Have I asked myself the 3 questions? Have I applied the 7 PRINCIPLES OF SMART LOVE? Relationship EXPECTATIONS—are we in or out of sync? Do PARTNER & RELATIONSHIP QUALITIES important to me match up? Am I aware of the BAGGAGE of the past? Have the LOVE CHEMICALS settled to help me see more clearly? Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.

Your partner is nice, but truthfully someone else has caught your eye. Your partner lies to you repeatedly. If caught in the lie, there’s an apology. But then it happens again and again. He only treats you well in private. In the house it’s, “I love you baby,” but in public he ignores you, or talks crudely to you. At the mall he has a habit of pointing out hot women and asks why you don’t look that way. Your partner is nice, but truthfully someone else has caught your eye. Your feelings have changed. You just don’t feel the same as you did in the first few weeks. * *

The two of you are fighting more and more and are unable to talk things out. Your partner refuses to work on communication skills. Your partner puts you down. Arguments feel scary sometimes. Your partner’s feelings are stronger than yours. He or she is pushing for a level of commitment that you don’t feel or want yet. You feel smothered by the relationship. Your partner tries to keep you from doing important things—like going to school, or attending a parenting workshop. You want your partner to stop drinking so much or using/dealing drugs, but he or she refuses. * *

Brainstorm Get a friend to tell him or her. Wait for a fight and then blame him/her. Do it through a text. Don’t say anything, but change your Facebook status. Just ignore him/her. Be seen with another person. Go out with his/her best friend. Say, “We can still see each other, but let’s just be friends.” Brainstorm * *

Talk to a trusted and wise person. Pick a time and place. Make a clean break. Have a method to avoid cruelty. If you are in a dangerous relationship seek outside help from your local Domestic Violence Center or 800-799-7233

Face reality—it’s over. Don't blame yourself. Face reality—it’s over. Stay away from the revenge game or the “chase-‘em-down-game.” Get perspective. Don’t jump into a new relationship. Get busy. Get out and get going with life. Remember, things get better with time. * *

Take extra precautions for safety. Consider changing locks. Be clear you’re ending it for good. Tell family/friends. Realize it can be hard on your child. Ask family/friends for support when feeling down or lonely. Don’t drag it out. Don’t interfere with your ex’s relationship with his or her child. Don’t badmouth your ex in front of your child. Don’t hop quickly into another relationship. If you are in a dangerous relationship seek outside help from your local Domestic Violence Center or 800-799-7233.

Why have they broken up? How is it being handled? Good or bad?

It’s mostly about two people who only have sex with each other. They are in a fancy bed (marshmallows on sticks represent fancy bedposts to show that’s all they value.) She wears fancy underwear. But, they are caged in with each other (represented by pipe cleaner rope around the bed) because nothing else is important. There’s not much else to their relationship.

Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved. The couple is on a date walking at the mall. The guy bought the girl flowers (mini- marshmallows on toothpick). They are spending time and getting to know each other. They are having fun, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company (pink heart). The rainbow colored sticks under them represent friendship to love and so many levels of communication. Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.

She sees her boyfriend of 2 years at another girl’s house. Conditional relationships make you worry about being “good enough.” Your partner often makes you feel little. You worry about him or her cheating on you; leaving you for someone else. There’s little trust. The girl on the right has binoculars. She’s looking through the bushes and trees spying on her man. She sees her boyfriend of 2 years at another girl’s house. *

Making Relationships Work For Young Adults & Young Parents Use of the free PowerPoint Presentation is limited to the accompanying purchased curriculum. The Teaching Materials included on the CD may be duplicated and handed out to participants. The CD’s may not be reproduced, but may be downloaded onto purchaser’s computer. Presentations may be altered for personal use only. Slides may be deleted or additional slides can be added to our base presentation for the sole purpose of teaching the Love Notes curriculum. However, reproduction of art and photos in the presentation is unauthorized. Presentation created in Microsoft® PowerPoint. Photos used with permission from IStockPhoto®. All Rights Reserved. Some clipart created and used with permission from Randy Clark. Additional art and photos used with permission from PREP®. All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2012, 2011. The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.