New Beginnings: Single-Parent Families, Remarriages, and Blended Families Chapter 14

Chapter Outline Single-Parent Families Binuclear Families Remarriages Blended Families Stepparenting

Single-Parent Families Created by divorce, births to unmarried mothers, or the death of a spouse Usually female headed Many single-parent homes actually contain two cohabiting adults, one of which is the parent These can include homes headed by lesbians and gay men. These families are often economically disadvantaged

Single-Parent Families Births to Unwed Mothers Single-parent families created by births to unwed mothers are more common than those created by divorce These families receive little social support. Headed by Mothers (sometimes fathers) Over 85% of single-parent families are headed by women. Given the gender discrimination in wages and jobs, single mothers are much more likely to be in poverty than are single fathers.

Single-Parent Families Ethnicity African American single-parent families are more likely to be in poverty than are Hispanic or Caucasian families. Poverty Female-headed single-parent families are disproportionately represented among those in poverty. Diversity of Living Arrangements Single-parent families need greater flexibility with child care and housing arrangements.

Single-Parent Families Diversity of Living Arrangements Single-parent families can take many forms including the parent’s outside romantic partner or live-in partner. Social Father – a male relative, family associate, or mother’s partner who demonstrates father-like behavior Private Safety Nets – support from social networks that they can fall back on in times of financial need

Single-Parent Families Transitional Form Single-parent families tend to be a transitional family form that can precede marriage or occur after divorce. Intentional Single-Parent Families Some women who have not found a suitable partner will intentionally become single-parents.

Lesbian and Gay Single Parents Lesbians and gay men may have become parents in a previous heterosexual relationship or using donors, artificial reproductive technologies or by adopting. The lack of marriage rights in the majority of states leaves gay men and lesbians as legal single parents even though there is likely to be a partner present. Children in these relationships only have one legal adoptive or biological parent; second-parent adoptions are rare.

Children in Single-Parent Families Research has found some negative outcomes for children in single-parent families such as behavioral problems, academic performance, and mental and physical health. Children may need to cope with their parent’s loneliness, depression, and increased stress. Possible positive outcomes include a child learning more responsibility, spending a large amount of time with their custodial parent, and feeling less pressure to conform to normal gender roles.

Successful Single Parents Accept responsibilities and challenges for single-parenthood. Parenting as first priority. Consistent, non-punitive parenting Emphasis on open communication Fostering individuality supported by the family Recognition of the need for self-nurturance Dedication to rituals and traditions

Single-Parent Family Strengths Ability to take on expressive and instrumental traits. Growing as a person by accepting the changes in his/her life. Good communication skills can develop trust and a sense of honesty. Coordinating all of the family’s activities is a normal daily occurence. Persons may develop the ability to be financially self-sufficient.

Binuclear Families The binuclear family consists of two nuclear families—the maternal nuclear family headed by the mother (the ex-wife) and the paternal one headed by the father (the ex-husband). These families include both single-parent families and stepfamilies. Former Spouses as Co-Parents Ex-spouses must put aside any anger and resentment felt during the divorce and focus their energy on working together to raise their children.

Binuclear Families The Remarried Family A remarried couple must navigate the complexities of married life while also considering the ex-spouse. Parent-Child Subsystem A former single parent must renegotiate their roles as they incorporate a new adult into parenting their children. Sibling, Half-Sibling, and Step-Sibling Subsystem Children must accept one another as family and share the attention of their parent.

Recoupling Courtship differs between first marriages and remarriages. Courtship may trigger old wounds, fears, or regrets but the partners may have more realistic expectations for this relationship. Many divorced persons choose to cohabit with their partner before remarriage or in place of it. Single parents, however eager they are to find a new partner, their children usually remain the central figure in their lives.

Remarriage Remarriage A marriage in which one or both partners have previously been married. Men tend to remarry at higher rates than women.

Remarriage Children lower the probability of marriage for both men and women but even more so for women. Initiators are more likely to remarry than non-initiators. Women’s odds of remarrying decrease as they age due to the cultural association of youthfulness with attractiveness and their likelihood of being mothers. Women and men who are employed and socialize with coworkers are more likely to remarry than those who are not.

Characteristics of Remarriage Marital Satisfaction People seem to be as satisfied in second marriages as they do in first yet divorce is more likely in second marriages. Remarriages are “incomplete institutions” (Cherlin, 1981) They lack societal social norms and behavioral prescriptions. Remarriages are subjected to different stresses than are first marriages. These include children from previous relationships.

Blended Families Commonly referred to as ‘stepfamilies,’ these families consist of two adults and their children attempting to blend into one fully functioning family.

Blended Families Structural Differences Almost all members have lost an important relationship One biological parent typically lives outside the family. The relationship with the parent and his/her children pre-dates the relationship between the new spouses. Stepparent roles are ill-defined and lack models. Many children are also part of a non-custodial parent’s household. Children also have at least one extra set of grandparents.

Blended Families Developmental Stages Early Stages Fantasy Stage – new stepparents expect to instantly love and be loved by their stepchildren Immersion Stage - Reality sets in Awareness Stage – Each family member must understand that their family has changed. Middle Stages Mobilization – Family members recognize differences and openly resolve conflict. Action – The family takes steps in recognizing themselves as a family.

Blended Families Later Stages Contact – The relationships between family members become genuine. Resolution - The family becomes solid and is no longer characterized by earlier troubles.

Stepparenting Women Men Research indicates that stepfamily life is more difficult for women than for men due to the cultural expectations for women as parents and caregivers. Due to the likelihood of contact with the children’s biological mother, child rearing becomes very difficult for the stepmother. Men Fathers are not as likely to have custody of their children. This can result in guilt that they are not parenting their own children. Stepfathers tend to have more limited and less positive relationship with their stepchildren. Parental claiming – embracing stepchildren as if they were biological children

Stepparenting Children Conflict Children in stepfamilies have a higher risk of having behavioral, psychological, and academic problems. Conflict Favoritism, or preferring one child over others Divided loyalties can force children to take sides against one that they love Discipline can be difficult to manage among biological and non-biological parents. Money, goods, and services can be divided unequally among family members.

Strengths of Stepfamilies Family Functions Stepfamilies can successfully fill traditional family functions (i.e. love, support, socialization, etc.) Benefits for Children Additional role models and exposure to new ideas Gain the extra support of a stepparent and step- or half-siblings Gain an extended kin network Improved economic situation Happily married parents