Barry Lane Reviser’s Toolbox Shelley L. Esman 2016

Jingle Jangle List as many times as you can think of when the sound or the idea of keys was very important to you Stand up Hand up Pair up Pick one of your own or one you thought of after sharing. Write your story

Questions Please! What do you want to know more about? Stand up Hand up Pair up How will you add this information? Where?

Snapshots Zoom in and give all the details as you get closer and closer to the character or object 12:00 Partners discuss where the snapshot should be Add a snapshot….zoom in with details

Thoughtshots Where does your partner wish he/she knew what the character is thinking? Share with your 3:00 partner Add at least one thoughtshot

Explode a moment Where should your action slow down? 6:00 partner

Make a Scene- re-see Action--blue Dialogue--yellow Snapshots--red Thoughtshots--purple

Lead Seed “Don’t say anything! Don’t even look up! Instead of: In this note I will ask you, the teller of this bank, to give me all the money in your drawer.

The Lead Board Big Potato Leads: Snapshot Leads: Jump into the middle of your story and leave the reader wanting more. Snapshot Leads: Create a picture in the reader’s mind

The Lead Board Misleading Leads Set-Up Leads Set up expectation, then surprise the reader Set-Up Leads Set up the action for the whole story in a few sentences.

The Lead Board Talking Leads Thinking Leads Start with a line or two of dialogue Thinking Leads Start with a thought inside a character or you

Your Lead Try three different types Big potato Snapshot Talking Thinking Misleading Set-Ups 6:00 partner

Verbs and nouns (54) Verbs describe as much as adjectives

Revising Point of view Change it up

Add a little personality Personification

Each Mini lesson Includes a mentor text Is modeled by the teacher Brings part of the RADaR into being

RADaR

“Oh no” I knew as soon as I slammed the door to keep in the warmth while I pumped the gas, that the keys were now locked inside with the car running no less. Who can I get to help me? The funny thing is that I don’t even remember who came to my rescue. All I remember is the fear of getting to work late. I was in BIG trouble.

Back then it seemed felt like I was in big trouble all the time Back then it seemed felt like I was in big trouble all the time. I couldn’t live up the expectations of Mrs. I’m just going to call her Mrs. Frankly, I felt like Junie B. Jones around her. Always making mistakes.