Restaurant Social Skills

Choosing a restaurant There are many things to consider when choosing a restaurant Price: Restaurants range from $5/meal to more than $100/meal. Research online to find a restaurant that fits your budget. Everyone in the group should be comfortable paying as much as they need to pay for the meal and the tip. Fanciness: More expensive restaurants generally require fancier clothes and quieter voices. Consider how fancy you want to be when picking a restaurant. Fancier restaurants sometimes require reservations. Closing time: At sit-down restaurants, do not visit too close to the closing time. Figure out how much time you need to eat your meal and make sure you can finish it well before the restaurant closes. Compromise: Groups of people have to compromise when picking a restaurant. This is a good time to be flexible.

Being seated Seat Yourself vs. Wait to Be Seated: Check for a sign when you enter the restaurant. In some places, you pick your own seat. In others, the host/hostess seats you. Another clue for “wait to be seated” is a restaurant employee standing right in front of the door. “How many?”: If it’s “wait to be seated,” the host/hostess will ask how many people are in your group. Be prepared to tell them a number and any special needs (high chair, wheel chair, etc.) “Table or a Booth?”: Know your preferences! Decide if you want a table or a booth when asked, and don’t change your mind. The Logic of Seating: The host/hostess will put you where there is a clean table and when it is the next server’s turn to serve. It might not make sense to you, but it is well-planned. Unless there is a REALLY good reason, don’t ask to change your table.

Greeting your server Greetings: Wait for the server to introduce himself/herself and deliver the information they are required to deliver (specials, instructions, specific greetings) before you ask for things. Friendship Level: The friendship level of the server is “friendly greetings,” which means you should be polite and friendly, answer “How are you?” with “Good,” and not share personal information. Be concise: Your server has many other tables and duties. Be friendly, but let them do their job without keeping them there for your entertainment.

Ordering drinks The first thing you order is your drink. Often, you will order your drink and then order food later. Come prepared with a drink order in your mind, if possible. Water is almost always free in America, but drinks range from about $2 to $4. Some drinks offer free refills and some don’t– make sure you check! You, of course, cannot order alcohol.

Ordering appetizers Your server will probably ask you if you want to order any appetizers. Appetizers are meant to share- both in portion-size and social expectations. The hard part about appetizers is deciding who will pay and how. Usually, if you are the one that really wants it, you should pay for it. Sometimes, someone will offer to split to cost or to share their appetizer with you. If you are sharing someone else’s appetizer, don’t eat too much of it! Bread: Often, sit-down restaurants offer free food in the form of bread/breadsticks/chips and salsa. You can get free refills, but don’t eat too quickly– make sure everyone gets some and that you leave room for your meal!

Ordering food When it’s time to order, ask for more time if you need it. Ask specific questions about the menu/what you are ordering. Be sure the question isn’t already answered in the menu! Be precise- Tell the server exactly what you want. If you make too many changes to the standard order in the menu, you increase your chances of not receiving food exactly as you like it. You are too old to order off the kid’s menu. Servers usually aren’t allowed to make an exception. Food allergies If you have a life or death allergy, be sure to tell the server If you are sensitive to a food, ask for an allergy menu or ask the server about ingredients. Your server might not know exactly what is in each food, so do your research ahead of time!

Getting the attention of your server Do Make eye contact and raise your eyebrows slightly Slightly raise your hand (shoulder level) and wave Wait until your server walks by and say “excuse me” Don’t Whistle Holler Snap, clap, or wave your hands around dramatically Shake objects on your table at the server

Asking for things “Could I have another…”- It’s ok to ask for more dressing, drinks with free refills, and other smaller items. You can even order more food! Be aware that sometimes the things you want will cost extra money. Combine requests- If possible, ask for everything you/the group wants at the same time. The server would rather make one trip with many things than make many trips with one thing each. Unreasonable requests- You can ask for the restaurant to turn down/up the music, change the music, make it colder/hotter, etc. Often, though, this is seen as an unreasonable request. The server might try to make it happen, but don’t expect it to.

Socializing with friends It’s good to have fun with your friends when you go out to eat! Keep it appropriate by: Avoiding horseplay Cleaning up extra messes you make Choosing socially-appropriate topics of conversation Talk in a voice level that is appropriate for the type of restaurant. Never yell!

Dealing with Dissatisfaction Fixing an order- if your order arrived incomplete/poorly cooked, tell your server in a calm voice. If you just didn’t like the food, don’t expect a refund. Order smarter next time. If there was a true problem with the way it was cooked, cleanliness, etc., you can usually expect the server to make it right– either by making you a new one or giving you a discount. Understand that a busy restaurant means slower service– because the limited staff have a lot of people to help. NEVER express your dissatisfaction with slow service or bad food by refusing to tip your server. If your server was personally offensive to you, ask to talk to a manager.

Paying the bill and tipping Paying the bill- After you are done/almost done eating, expect the server to bring you a bill. This is also called a ‘check.’ You can ask for the check at any point after you order. Splitting the check- If possible, tell your server ahead of time (like when you are ordering) that you will all be paying separately. Expect the splitting of the check to take some time if you ask after your meal. Tipping- In America, it is expected that you will tip your server 15% (at least). Any additional tip can be given for excellent service. Servers usually only make $2.13/hour and rely on tips to survive. We will practice credit card tipping Cash tipping: Leave the total amount + tip in the check envelope or leave the tip on the table when you leave. This may add an extra step of the server asking if you want change. If your tip is in the envelope, say “no.” If you are going to leave it on the table, say “yes.” Larger groups may be automatically charged a tip. You can add to this if you want. Pay attention to your check!

Easy tipping 1. Look at your total. Ex: $14.25 2. Move the decimal to the left. 1.425 3. Double this number. 2.85 This is a 20% tip. Make it even easier by rounding up to a whole number!

Leaving the table Don’t linger too much!- This table represents an opportunity for your server to make money. The longer you sit after you have finished eating, the less opportunities there will be. This is especially important if the restaurant is busy. Leave soon after paying your check. Stack- Be a good citizen and stack up some of your plates/eating utensils to make your table easier to clean. It’s not expected, but it’s nice. If you left any additional mess (torn paper, gum, etc.), add this to the stack. If it’s gross, cover it up with napkins.