RESPECT FOR ALL

What do you think? Is it Rude, Mean, or Bullying? Emma and Brit play on the same field hockey team and are normally best friends, but have been in an argument for three days. Emma called Brit a mean name after practice and Brit send Emma a mean text. Devin and David are friends. In school, they had an argument. Devin called David a name and David shoved him out of his way. Kayla tells MacKenzie that she can’t sit with her on the bus today because she is saving the seat for a girl from her Social Studies class. Maggie is making fun of the fact that Jessie hangs out with the boys at recess and wears long basketball shorts to school every day. In gym class, Maggie told her to go play on the boys’ team and the day before in homeroom, she wrote the words “You’re so gay” on Jessie’s desk.

RUDE BEHAVIOR Accidentally saying or doing something that hurts feelings or embarrasses someone It also includes inconsiderate thoughtless, unplanned behavior, bad manners, only thinking about yourself, but it is not meant to actually hurt anyone. EXAMPLES: Burping, sneezing on others, bragging about the highest grade, cutting in line, horseplay, being disrespectful, getting in personal space

MEAN BEHAVIOR Saying or doing something on purpose to hurt someone maybe once or twice Sometimes said in anger to make someone else look bad; we usually feel regret later EXAMPLES: criticizing or making fun someone’s clothes, looks, intelligence, skin, language, breaking or stealing others belongings

Bullying Behavior Behavior that is on purpose, repeated over time and involves an imbalance of power 4 types of bullying: Physical: actions that hurt your body Verbal: words that hurt your feelings Friendship: words/actions that hurt your friendships, using a friendship or threatening to take friendship away Cyberbullying: intentional, repeated harmful behavior using technology

The Danger of Labeling Important to not refer to a student as “the bully” or “the victim” because it can: Send the message that the child's behavior cannot change Fail to recognize the multiple roles children might play in different bullying situations Disregard other factors contributing to the behavior such as peer influence or school climate Focus on the behavior such as “the student who bullied” or “the student who was bullied.”

Warning signs a child is being bullied: Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs.Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are: Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

Signs a child could be bullying others Kids may be bullying others if they: Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently Have unexplained extra money or new belongings Blame others for their problems Don’t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity

Bystanders Majority of students are not bullying other students or being bullied, rather they are watching it happen. Some may be silent, while others may join in laughter while trying to “fit in” or not really understanding that someone is getting hurt. A HUGE way we can decrease bullying and mean behavior is by helping our students stand up for others by not letting those students “get away with it.” It can be as simple as saying “that’s not very nice” and then saying a positive comment to the person or in more serious scenarios, telling an adult.

Reporting vs. Tattling Tattling is saying something to get someone in trouble. Reporting is saying something to help someone get out of trouble.

Supports and Interventions Parent outreach Intervention by counseling staff Guidance conference Social-emotional learning Individual/group counseling Development of individual behavior contract Conflict mediation Referral to a community based organization (CBO) and/or counseling services Community service (with parental consent)

Range of Possible Disciplinary Actions Citywide Behavioral Expectations to support student’s learning (Grades K-5) Range of Possible Disciplinary Actions Pedagogical school staff meeting with student to address the misbehavior and its consequences Student teacher conference Formal meeting with student by appropriate supervisor (ex. Assistant principal, principal) to address the misbehavior and understand its consequences Parent conference In-school disciplinary action (ex. Formal restorative conference, exclusion from extracurricular activities or communal lunchtime

Removal from classroom by teacher for up to 1 day from students in grades K-2 or up to 4 school days for students in grades 3-5 Principal’s suspension for 1-5 school days Superintendent’s suspension that results in immediate reinstatement Superintendent’s suspension that results in continued suspension for a fixed period of 6-10 school days

REVIEW RUDE MEAN BULLYING Inconsiderate, thoughtless, unplanned behavior, bad manners, only thinking about yourself, not meant to actually hurt anyone Saying or doing something on purpose to hurt someone, maybe once or twice, usually in anger on purpose, repeated over time and involves an imbalance of power

Resources Whitson, Signe, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/bullying_b_2188819.html http://signewhitson.com https://www.stopbullying.gov