Persuasive paragraph evaluation Take a copy of the paragraphs and grading sheets from the back table. Read each paragraph. Determine if all parts are present. Decide if all parts work in the ways they are supposed to. (Evaluate them) Determine which paragraph follows the rules of good paragraphs the best.

Example 1… In “To Build a Fire” the character never really had hope and lost what little hope he had very quickly. After the man’s hands and feet froze, and he was running to his friends: “you were right old hoss, you were right.” This is his final utterance as he gives up and accepts his death. This is the instance where he loses all will to live, but honestly, he never had hope, he had foolishness. The topic sentence focuses on “never had hope” but evidence is only from the last portion of the story, you would expect it to come from earlier. Make the context grammatically part of the sentence, but pretty good, though it should have come from early on in the story. Need page number.

Example 2… In “To Build a Fire,” the man didn’t count his blessings; he wasn’t grateful to be alive. Throughout the story, the man never listened to the older man that had lived in Alaska for a lot longer than the man. He cockily thought he knew everything and that he was invincible, that didn’t turn out well for him since he died in the end. “The old man on Sulphur Creek [had told him]…after fifty below, a man should travel with a partner” (91). This proves the man took life for granted and didn’t care. No context Interprets before showing the evidence. This proves. The last sentence of explanation is good, but it leaves it to the reader with “this proves”.

Example 3… The man never saw the beauty around him. As he sets out on his journey to meet the boys the narrators notes: “But all this—this mysterious, far-reaching hairline trail, the absence of sun from the sky, the tremendous cold, and strangeness and weirdness of it all—made no impression on the man…Fifty degrees below zero was to him just precisely fifty degrees below zero. That there should be anything more to it than that was a thought that never entered his head” (82). The fact that the shear power of the cold never crossed his mind leads directly to his death. “Seeing the beauty” is about recognizing the magnificence of nature and understanding man’s relationship to it. The man did not do this and so thought he was nature’s equal and died as a result. Follows all rules. Not the best at using one of the methods though it pulls it off. Could be a stronger paragraph but it is the best of the 3.

Example 4… In “To Build a Fire” there are very few parts where the man has hope. One time is when he gets the fire lit for the second time. This quote is from page 89: “There was the fire, snapping and crackling and promising life with every dancing flame.” This shows hope because when he lights the fire it shows that he has hope he might live. This is also foreshadowing for when he freezes to death. Good topic sentence but it is not followed. No Context for passage. This shows, need to focus on the word “promise” The last sentence has nothing to do with the topic sentence. The evidence doesn’t fit the topic sentence.