Friendship Is It Really That Complicated? Susan Tabor GEDU 6140 80 June 18, 2011.

YES! Sometimes it is! I noticed new students often had trouble fitting in, making friends Then I realized that it was not just new students who had difficulty making friends To be inclusive, I decided to focus on all students All students could benefit from practice with social skills Knowing how to work with others is an important life long skill

So what am I going to do about it? Work with my students on social/friendship skills Model how to work with other people Take advantage of teachable moments Give the students explicit instruction on social skills Give the students opportunities to practice their skills

What is a friend? The dictionary defines the word friend in several ways: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or regard a person who gives assistance a person who is on good terms with another

What does the research say? Friendships provide companionship stimulation, physical support, ego support, social comparison, intimacy , affection To have friends you need to have empathy If needs are being met, children are more likely to develop empathy Children who lack friends can suffer from emotional and mental difficulties later in life Friends help children negotiate difficult situations, develop social skills, learn how to communicate, problem solve, good practice for controlling emotions, understanding emotions of others

Many of our problems in society can be linked to lack of friendships Having friends helps to make people more engaged, happy and productive Without friends, students are more likely to be disruptive, have lower levels of achievement, more vulnerable to negative peer pressure Without friends, students can be “easy targets”

Why do some struggle? Language barriers Not understanding the culture Shyness Lack of social skills Difficulty with self-regulatory behaviour Nervous, scared of new people/situations

Activities to teach the skills Activity 1 Laying the Groundwork and Empathy Training Second Step Program 7 lessons Large photo on front Lesson plan, story, questions, activities outlined on back

Activity 2 Talking Stick A way to teach the students respect for taking turns and to be respectful of others during discussions.

Activity 3 “The Right Thing to Do” This is a song to help address the need to make good choices.

Activity 4 Friendship Circle A weekly class meeting to discuss what we have been doing to promote friendship in our class and throughout the school. A time to plan a class or school wide activity to help foster friendship.

Activity 5 Rotating Conversation An activity to promote conversation between the members of the class .

Activity 6 Create a Comrade An activity where students work in pairs to list the characteristics of a good friend.

Activity 7 The Good and the Bad An opportunity for the students to discuss in small groups what they think are the positive and challenging aspects of friendship.

Activity 8 Friendship Difficulties Role Play Students use ideas from Activity 7 to develop a short role play to demonstrate a challenging friendship scenario.

Activity 9 Hands are for Helping This is an activity that works well in a partnership with younger students such as Reading Buddies. Students trace their hand shape and write on each finger how they could help others or show friendship.

Activity 10 Officer Buckle and Gloria By Peggy Rathmann This story can also be part of a Health lesson on safety. The story illustrates the importance of supporting each other.

Activity 11 Hershey’s Kiss This activity gives the students a chance to write complimentary notes to each other and to receive complimentary messages from classmates and family members. There can be discussion over how it feels to give and receive compliments.

Activity 12 “Don’t Laugh at Me” This is a song to use as a discussion starter about friendship, bullying, and the impact of hurtful words. A follow up after the discussion could be to write their own words about friendship to a known song.

Activity 13 The Other Side By Jacqueline Woodson This is a story that illustrates peoples’ ideas about race and boundaries that tradition says can’t be crossed. It also shows how questioning the traditions can lead to changes.

Activity 14 Interest Show This activity is like a talent show but instead show cases something the students are interested in.

Activity 15 The Book of Awesome By Neil Pasricha This activity is based on the book. After reading a few selections from the book and having some discussion, students write a story about an awesome event they have experienced related to friendship.

Why was this important to me? The difficulties I see my students dealing with My school experiences This cohort