RELATIONSHIPS

BROAD OBJECTIVE Equip service providers with knowledge and skills to empower the young people to make informed decisions on relationships

Specific objectives By the end of this session, participants will be able to: Describe different types of relationships Identify qualities of healthy and romantic relationships Explain behaviours that can enhance or destroy relationships State the difference between love and infatuation Discuss sexual decision making among the youth

Definition Relationship-means getting along with others even if you are not necessarily friends e.g., teachers of the same school are related because all of them are working towards uplifting the standards of the school

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ·        Parent/child ·        Sister/brother ·        Cousins ·        Grandparents/grandchildren ·        Auntie/uncle ·        Teacher/student ·        Friends of the opposite sex ·        Same-sex friends ·        Boyfriend/girlfriend

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS… ·     Employer/employee ·     Colleagues working together ·     Business partners

Healthy relationships ·Good relationships are based on love, mutual respect and willingness to work at the relationship. ·In a good relationship, both people are honest with each other. ·Both people feel safe in the relationship and do not worry that the other will betray their trust.

Healthy relationships… ·Both people usually find enjoyment and pleasure in the relationship, and neither person tries to control the other person or to pressure them into doing things. Neither person exploits or takes advantage of the other in any way

Qualities that make a relationship healthy Respect Responsibility Understanding Cooperation Caring

Circles of Friendship CASUAL FRIENDS CLOSE FRIENDS YOU ACQUANTANCES

Reasons for dating ·Provides a variety of opportunities for personal growth. From every person you date you should learn something about yourself and others. ·Provides opportunity for girls and boys to understand and get to know the opposite sex.

Reasons for dating… ·It is basically a way of making friends. Girls and boys should become friends before they are lovers. ·It fulfils the basic need for love, friendship and companionship.

Behaviours that can enhance or destroy relationships The following are some actions and attitudes that could be warning signs that the partner is potentially abusive. Verbal or physical threats Jealousy Criticism Controlling Anger or violence Verbal abuse Manipulation 

Types of rape Acquaintance or date rape Stranger rape

How young people can protect themselves against date rape Do not be alone Avoid secluded places Keep others informed Split the cost Think about your sexual limits Do not worry about being polite or nice. Mode of dressing(appropriate)

Differentiating between love and infatuation Love comes gradually between two people. They grow into it after many experiences together. Infatuation happens suddenly after an initial meeting between two people. They think they are “in love.” True love is based on knowledge. Infatuation is narrowly based on attraction. Love involves the entire personality. Infatuation argues that “you cannot explain love.” True love kindles kind feelings toward others. It makes the other person happy and improves his/her disposition. Infatuation damages disposition. A person becomes indifferent and disagreeable toward others who “do not understand their relationship.”  

Differentiating between love and infatuation… True love thinks of the other person. It desires to protect the person and to do things to make him/her happy. Infatuation tends to exploit the other person for personal pleasure, security, or other personal gain. It may be materialistic or parasitic. True love is trustful, calm, secure, hopeful, and self-confident. Infatuation is insecure, distrustful, jealous, and fearful. True love is patient and it says, “We want forever! We can afford to wait! Nothing can happen to our love for each other.” Infatuation is impatient and it says, “We have only tonight. Let’s live it up or let’s get married now.” True love causes one to be proud of the other person and eager to introduce him/her to others, including parents and other adults. Infatuation is often embarrassed about the relationship and is secretive with parents and others.

Differentiating between love and infatuation… In true love, physical expression has tender meaning and comes slowly, naturally, and sincerely. Each person respects the mind and body of the other. In infatuation, physical contacts – common and ordinary – tend to be the end. The meaning is lacking. It is the thrill of the experience for personal gratification. True love tends to occur in late teens or early twenties or any time after that. Infatuation tends to be more frequent among young adolescents.

Sexual decision making among the youth Reasons for Saying Yes to Sex To stop pressure from friends or partners To show loving feelings in a relationship To avoid loneliness To get affection Reasons for Saying No to Sex To follow religious or cultural beliefs or personal or family values To keep a romantic relationship from changing To avoid pregnancy

Cont… To avoid STIs, HIV and AIDS To get or receive presents or gifts To avoid hurting parents To avoid hurting your reputation To avoid feeling guilty To reach future goals like education and career To find the right partner To wait for marriage To get or receive presents or gifts To show independence from parents and other adults To hold onto a partner To prove one is an adult To become a parent To satisfy curiosity

Factors that influence decision about whether or not to have sex in young person ·sexual feelings, partner’s desires media messages Pressure parent teachings religious beliefs drug use

What young person need to know or be prepared to do if she or he is going to say ‘no’ to sexual intercourse? feeling good about themselves being assertive communicating clearly following through with a decision combating peer/partner pressure or their future goals

What does a young person need to know if she or he is going to say yes to sexual intercourse? risks of pregnancy and STIs/HIV/AIDs possible school dropout how to discuss for safe sex (contraceptives and RTI) how to communicate with a partner, how to feel good about themselves, how to say no, how to be assertive