Model opinion essay cohesion: pronoun referencing Watching television is a very popular activity all over the world because 1) it provides information and entertainment to billions of people. Some people think that children can watch television for as long as 2) they want to. However, I believe 3) this could be bad for children. In the following essay I will give reasons to support my view.   1) it = 2) they = 3) this = watching television children watching television for as long as they want to

Model opinion essay cohesion: pronoun referencing The most important reason is that television can have a negative effect on children’s health. According to Smith (2012), around 80% of Canadian kids watch TV for at least an hour a day and many spend several hours just sitting in front of the television. Because of this, 4) they have less time for doing sports or just playing outside with their friends. As a result, more children are overweight and 5) this can lead to more serious health problems as 6) they grow up.   4) they = 5) this = 6) they = 80% of Canadian kids more children are overweight children who are overweight

Model opinion essay cohesion: pronoun referencing In conclusion, there are many reasons why children should not watch television any time 7) they like. Spending time watching television can harm children’s health, they may learn bad behaviour, and 8) it could affect their schoolwork. Therefore, I believe that parents should strictly control the amount of television and the programs that children watch to avoid these negative effects.   7) they = 8) it = children spending time watching television

Model opinion essay cohesion: linking words and phrases 1) On one hand, watching too much television can be bad for children. The most important reason is that television can have a negative effect on children’s health. According to Smith (2012) around 80% of Canadian kids watch TV for at least an hour a day and many spend several hours just sitting in front of the television. 2) Because of this, they have less time for doing sports or just playing outside with their friends. 3) As a result, more children are overweight and this can lead to more serious health problems as they grow up. Another reason is that television shows children an unreal picture of society. 4) For example, television programs may be violent or show behaviour that is not acceptable in real life. Singh (2010) reports that children now spend less time communicating with their families. 5) Therefore, they learn more about society from television programs, 6) so if they watch the wrong programs, they may copy bad behaviour.  

Model opinion essay cohesion: linking words and phrases 7) On the other hand, watching television may be beneficial. The main benefit is that children can learn a lot about the world by watching educational television programs. 8) For example, the American television program Sesame Street teaches children how to spell and do simple maths. 9) Consequently, children who watch Sesame Street for a few hours each day may do better at school. 10) In addition, children who are watching television are usually quiet and well behaved. 11) For instance, many small boys can be noisy and very active. 12) However, when they watch television, they sit quietly in one place. According to Al Shamsi (2010), parents now have less time to spend looking after their children, 13) so allowing children to watch television is a useful way for parents to manage the stress of family life. 14) If the parents are less stressed, that is good for the children.  

Model opinion essay cohesion: linking words and phrases In conclusion, I agree to some extent that children should not watch television any time they like. This is 15) because 16) although spending time watching television can harm children’s health and they may learn bad behaviour, it can also be educational for children 17) and help their parents to be less stressed. 18) Therefore, I believe that parents should control the amount of television and the programs that children watch to avoid the negative effects and enjoy the benefits of television.