Mom. Dad. We got to talk. Talk to me about sex.

Welcome and Congratulations

What are your Hopes, Dreams and Goals for your child or children? What is the bottom line?

Tonight we will talk about what a huge influence you have on your child's future. Common Barriers that prevent the conversation At what age do I start talking? How do I start the conversation? Am I sending mixed messages when I talk about abstinence and contraception/sparking an interest? What if I don’t have the answers or the time?

How Active are Teenagers? The U.S. has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world. 2800 teens become pregnant each year. Nationwide, 1 out of 3 ninth graders has had sex at least once. 4 in 10 teen girls in the US will get pregnant at least once before age 20. Almost half of all girls who have sex before age 15 will get pregnant as a teen.

How Sexually Active are Racine County teens? Statewide, 9th graders-26%. 12th graders 60%.

Percent of Racine County teens that use a form of birth control during sexual intercourse.

In 2008, there were 290 teen births in Racine County (10.8%). Teen Births in Racine County... Racine County has the second highest teenage pregnancy rate in the state of Wisconsin. In 2008, there were 290 teen births in Racine County (10.8%).

How can you decrease these numbers? How prevalent are STD’s in Racine County… *Racine County has the second highest rate of STD’s in the state. *1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD. 373 reported cases of Chlamydia. 56 reported cases of Gonorrhea. 1 reported case of Syphilis. 13 cases HIV/AIDS. How can you decrease these numbers?

Parents, Speaking up!!

Kids want to hear from their parents.. Teens rank parents as the NUMBER 1 influence on their sexual decisions! 8 in 10 teens say it would be easier to avoid sexual activity if they were able to have more open, honest conversations with parents. 6 in 10 teens wish they were able to talk more openly about relationships with their parents. (recognize, develop & maintain) 66% of active teens wish they had waited longer. Sex can deflate self-esteem & erode optimism.

What are common barriers to TALKING? Do I have to talk to them about that that? I'm concerned how my child will view me! What if I cant answer their questions? But they’re just children! Not my kids, I know what they’re thinking!

It can be difficult watching you child transition into the teen years… Video Segment 3. It can be difficult watching you child transition into the teen years… The truth is… TALKING can actually bring parents closer to their child by keeping the lines of communication open and assure you are playing an active role in your child’s life.

At what age do I start talking? It's best to start as soon as children begin getting sexual messages. Children learn how to think and feel about their bodies and their sexual behavior from things we do and say. (examples) The more frequently and frankly sexual matters are discussed, the easier open discussions are likely to be as your teen grows older. If you haven't started yet…. Do Not Worry…

How do I start the conversation?? It’s Never to Late How do I start the conversation?? Video Segment 4

Tips for Talking… Not every conversation needs to be the “The Talk” Life long discussion “Bite-size” pieces of information to create a sense of values & goals for your child. We can find many everyday moments in our lives that can prompt conversations about sexual decisions. (teachable moments) Informal: shopping, park, cooking Invite dialogue-open ended questions Neighbor or friend pregnant Relationships change in teen years “I haven't seen Joe around lately, how are things with your friends? Magazines, advertisements, articles Movies, TV shows, music Don’t need to make it your soapbox

Tips for Talking… Open Channel of Communication Telling your teen not to give into peer pressures will have little or no effect. Offer open discussions about situations-without the threat of punishment or judgment. Do Not preach, judge, lecture, or criticize. LISTEN, then share your values, opinions & goals for your child. Even if your teen is making healthy decisions, they may encounter an unexpected situation.

Teach your teen the “N.I.C.E” way to say “NO” Say “No.” Not “maybe” or “later.” Teach your teen to set boundaries and be decisive. If your teen makes the decision not to have sex before being confronted by pressure to have sex, it will be easier to say “NO.” Follow with an “I” statement: “I plan to wait several years before I have sex.” Or "I’m not going to have sex until I marry.” If the pressure continues, “Change.” Teach your teen to change the topic: “Did you see the game on TV last night?” Or change their conversation partner: “Julie is over there. I need to ask her something.” Or change the location: “I’m going back into the kitchen." If these strategies do not help, your teen needs an “Exit” plan. Teens should leave a bad situation immediately. If your teen does not have a way home, you or some other trusted adult will need to pick him or her up. It is a good idea for you and your teen to have a pre-arranged code phrase that means "Come and pick me up. And hurry!”

Am I sending mixed messages when I talk about abstinence and contraception It is a very clear message when a parent or teacher suggests, “I strongly encourage you not to have sex. However, if you do, you should use birth control or protection.” 71% of teens & 59% of parents agree This message contains both values-based behavior expected during the adolescent years and the information provided when the young person might need it at some time in the future.

Be a W.I.S.E. parent W I S E Welcome! Interest! Support Good Goals! Be available I Interest! Ask about his or her opinions, friends, school or movies. S Support Good Goals! Learn what your teens long and short term goals are and support them. E Educate, Encourage, Empower Provide guidance, information & skills to be successful.

Parents are the #1 influence on sexual decisions! By providing your child with a solid framework of information and values, you’ve taken a huge step toward making sure that when he or she becomes sexually active it will be with knowledge, preparation and maturity.