You’re Invited! Please join us at: Herron’s 5th Annual Thanksgiving Luncheon November 16th-17th

Again this year, we will prepare for the luncheon by discussing different components of formal etiquette. Returning students, please help lead the lessons and discussion as your Advisory works through the following slides.

Pre-Test / Review for returning students True / False: If you aren’t going to attend an event, it’s expected that you won’t RSVP. True / False: If you get up during an event, take your napkin with you. Which fork should be used first during a formal meal? True / False: If no one is leading a conversation at your table, it’s appropriate to ask your neighbor a question like, “do you have any travel plans coming up?” How do you indicate to your server that you have finished eating? True/False: “Family Style” means that a meal is more informal and you do not have to adhere to many of the etiquette rules. True / False: If I am a vegetarian, I should try to let the host know ahead of time.

Lesson 1: The Art of RSVP-ing… Most formal events also include a formal invitation (that can be sent in the mail or via email). Most invitations will include an “RSVP by…” date. Try to RSVP several days BEFORE this “RSVP by…” date out of kindness toward the host / hostess. If you are not able to attend an event, you can still send a thank-you note for the invitation and express your regrets at not being able to attend.

Discussion Question Why is RSVPing important and polite? What might some of the consequences be of not RSVPing by the requested date? Have you ever hosted an event and not had guests RSVP? What were the consequences?

Lesson 2: The Formal Place Setting Can you label these items? A. Butter Knife B. Teaspoon C. Water Glass D. Dinner Knife E. Soup Spoon F. Dinner Fork G. Drink Glass H. Bread Plate I. Dinner Plate J. Salad Fork K. Napkin L. Dessert Fork M. Dessert Spoon 13

Formal Place Setting 13 Can you label these items? A. Butter Knife - 9 B. Teaspoon - 7 C. Water Glass - 12 D. Dinner Knife - 5 E. Soup Spoon – 6 F. Dinner Fork - 2 G. Drink Glass - 13 H. Bread Plate - 8 I. Dinner Plate - 3 J. Salad Fork - 1 K. Napkin - 4 L. Dessert Fork - 11 M. Dessert Spoon - 10 13

What do you do with all of this silverware?! Returning students, what do you remember about the proper way to use all of the silverware at a formal meal? Go back to the previous slide and share all that you know. Use the following slides to make sure you remembered everything!

What do you do with all of this silverware?! Basic Guidelines: Once you are seated, carefully unfold your napkin and place it in your lap. If you get up during the meal, lay the napkin on your chair until you return. Wait until the host/hostess begins eating to start your meal. At a formal event, there will often be opening remarks before the meal. Look to your table host or the event host for a sign as to when to begin eating. Start with the outermost silverware and work your way in. So, start with the fork on the furthest left (the salad fork), and then use the fork closest to the table (the dinner fork) for the next course. Your server will often clear used plates and silverware after each course.

What do you do with all of this silverware?! Basic Guidelines: While cutting food, it is customary in America to hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand (or vice versa if you are left-handed) to make the cuts. Then, place the knife at the top of the plate and switch your fork to the right hand. Some people will always keep the knife and fork in their hands and use both utensils to eat. European customs are a bit different. Hold your fork with the curve/back facing up when you cut food. Clinching your fingers around the base of the fork like you're stabbing the plate is unnecessary. A firm, but gentle grip is used. (See picture on next slide) Keep your elbows down, not sprawled, to avoid elbowing someone next to you. This is sometimes a challenge when cutting food; it takes practice and patience to control your elbow movement.

What do you do with all of this silverware?! Basic Guidelines: Drink or sip your beverage quietly; take in sips of your drink and be careful not to guzzle or finish your beverage in one take. Place your knife and fork down on the plate (in a "V" position) when you need to wipe your mouth (of course with your napkin) or when you need to take a drink. When you completely finish, angle your silverware in a parallel line on your plate (see picture on next slide). If you have one, be sure to use your butter knife to spread butter on your roll – not the knife in the actual butter dish being passed around the table.

Discussion Questions If you have attended a formal meal before, what have you noticed about the table manners of the other guests? Why do you think it is important to be aware of and practice dining etiquette at a formal function? What habits do you know you will have to be aware of avoiding at the Thanksgiving Luncheon?

Lesson 3: What should we talk about? Sometimes, the most stressful part of a formal meal is the conversation! Returning students, what are some of the ‘recommended’ and ‘cautionary’ topics for formal events? Any other tips for how to keep conversation flowing?

What should we talk about? NO cell phones! This won’t be hard at school, but you will notice many adults do not adhere to this rule when out in public. Still, checking your phone when at a formal meal is impolite and can make a negative impression.

What should we talk about? 2) If there are less than 8 people at your table, the host or table leader may try to hold one conversation with all attendees. Join in, but don’t dominate!

What should we talk about? 3) If there isn’t one conversation happening at the table, talk quietly with your neighbor on either side of you. But, what should you talk about?

What should we talk about? 4) Keep the conversation casual and polite. Some topics might be too personal or controversial. Topics to generally avoid include: Personal religious beliefs Personal political beliefs Money Personal decisions / Gossip Any other topics you’d avoid?

What should we talk about? 5) Recommended topics include: Hobbies and interests Areas of expertise / job experience Common / shared experiences Inspiring stories / situations Brainstorm a few more with your Advisory!

Lesson 4: Attending a Family Style Meal

What is “Family Style”? Family Style means that the food is dished out from common serving plates that are passed around the table. At a Family Style meal, the salad or soup course and dessert may still be served individually.

Basic Guidelines of Family Style Each guest at the table is responsible for dishing up his/her own portions. Start with the dish in front of you and take a proportion of the food equal to (or less than!) the fraction of the table that you represent. (so, if there are 8 guests, take 1/8 of the food or less). Then, always pass the dishes counter-clockwise (to the right).

Basic Guidelines of Family Style Don’t pass the dish until the person to your right is ready to receive it. It is customary to wait until all of the dishes have been passed to begin eating. If there is a host at the table or the event, he or she will begin eating first or offer an invitation for others to eat.

Basic Guidelines of Family Style It is polite to try a small portion of every dish unless the item is something that you avoid for dietary or personal reasons. In those instances, you can just quietly pass to your neighbor and say, “No, thank you, I’ll pass.”

FAQ: Am I allowed to ask for seconds? Yes, it might be possible to have seconds at family style meal. After all of the guests have been served from a dish, if there are still left- overs, you may ask to have the dish passed to you. If the serving platters have been cleared from the table, it is not polite to ask for seconds unless the host offers (since it is impossible to see whether or not there are leftovers, and you don’t want to embarrass the host if there is not enough left).

FAQ: Am I allowed to take the last serving of a dish? Yes, someone will likely take the last serving of a dish, and it might be you! Before you do: Be sure that everyone has had a first serving of the dish. Offer the dish to your neighbors. An appropriate question would be, “The cranberries were delicious! Would either of you like to enjoy a little more?” If they decline, they’re all yours!

What if I’m a vegetarian / gluten free / allergic to _________? If at all possible, try to notify your host ahead of time of any dietary restrictions. Hosts want to plan an enjoyable event, and the menu can be a big portion of that! You can always include a quick note about dietary restrictions in your RSVP. Appropriate language might be: “I wanted to let you know that I am allergic to peanuts, so I will need to pass on any dish that contains that ingredient. However, I’m very much looking forward to our meal together!” If you’re not sure which dishes you will be able to eat, discreetly ask a server or the host to explain the menu.

Review: How did you do on the Pre-Test? True/False: If you aren’t going to attend an event, it’s expected that you won’t RSVP. False – indicate your regrets and thank the host for the invitation when you RSVP. True / False: If you get up during an event, take your napkin with you. False – fold the napkin and leave on your chair. Which fork should be used first during a formal meal? The outermost fork (furthest from the plate). True / False: If no one is leading a conversation at your table, it’s appropriate to ask your neighbor a question like, “do you have any travel plans coming up?” True! How do you indicate to your server that you have finished eating? Lay your silverware at an angle - parallel to each other - on your plate. True/False: “Family Style” means that a meal is more informal and you do not have to adhere to many of the etiquette rules. False. True / False: If I am a vegetarian, I should try to let the host know ahead of time. True.

Videos if you want more info. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDT B7jsc0UY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Anw EpBLCKc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4wS WaRaRQ8