Wisdom gleaned along the way Parenting Wisdom gleaned along the way

Susan Fehr Mother of Three

Don’t worry. Let go and keep on letting go. Something to learn and learn again.

Follow through. Figuring things out is one thing. Following through is challenging.

Remember kids are kids. Don’t be surprised if children are hungry and cranky before mealtimes. They just are.

Be in the moment with your children.

Find resources that speak to the life experiences of your child. For example, “Primal Wound” is a book that gives context for the intense abandonment of children who experience adoption.

Margaret Koop Mother of 5 grandmother great-grandmother

Be careful not to embarrass or humiliate your children Particularly in front of others.

One on one time with a child everyday. 20 minutes.

Children learn what they live The poem is true. Criticism is poison. It takes 1,000 positive for every negative comment.

Confidentiality. Ask permission to share information with anyone. This includes another parent or sibling.

Assume siblings will always compete and compare Take care to value all talents the same.

Leave doors open. Keep mouth closed. In the midst of hurtful family times don’t speak ill of others. Leave the future open.

Let child know your love for them is solid even if you don’t like what they are doing. Don’t gloss over the wrongs. Find ways to keep the connection comfortable and mutually acceptable.

Fear is often behind anger. Low self-esteem sometimes presents with anger. Look for ways to name the fear.

Parenting involves self-care.

Be honest with your children when they ask you how you are doing. Be positive. Present hopeful thoughts. But let your children know how you really are doing.

Listen respectfully so your children will know they have been heard - for what they did and did not say.

Sometimes it hurts to be together Sometimes it hurts to be together. Respect when it is too painful for a time to be together as a family.

Treat each person as multifaceted and rich in talent.

Don’t deny problems. Offer to help children face problems and figure out solutions.

If all else fails, cook, bake and prepare a favourite meal!

Questions

How to find appropriate consequences in order to help with learning? Instead of meeting demands to get out of trouble or it is just punishment or it is a way of easing parent stress/anger in the moment.

What is my role? Pray for courage to do what I have to do and wisdom to do it properly.

Roger Thiessen Father of Three Grandfather

Don’t read too many books. Don’t over think things. Be present. Do what works for you and your kid.

Teach children to have respect for themselves and others.

Give them boundaries.

Be a team with your life partner.

Listen to your children and help out with complexities as asked.

Be a friend and a parent of adult children.

Respect each other.

Have fun. Have a sense of humour.

Meet children where they are at emotionally and then assist them in problem solving.

Reflect on your own parents and then choose what kind of parent you want to be.

Sometimes things are really complicated and you don’t know what to do.