Parenting Tips for Dealing with the Teen Years Harry Brown, MA, LMFT Mercer Island Youth & Family Services

WEB Leaders Fall 2015

Survey Results Fall 2015 6th Grade 7th Grade 8th Grade Stress Achieving in school Gossip/Rumors Fitting In Friendships Bullying or harassment Self Image Loneliness Depression Cyber-bullying/Loss Achieving in School Self-image Girl/Boy Friend Issues Peer Pressure Family Issues Self-Image

Ten Tasks of Adolescence Adjust to sexually maturing bodies and feelings. Develop and apply abstract thinking skills. Develop and apply a more complex level of perspective taking. Develop and apply new coping skills in areas such as decision making, problem solving, and conflict resolution. Identify meaningful moral standards, values, and belief systems.

Ten Tasks of Adolescence Understand and express more complex emotional experiences. Form friendships that are mutually close and supportive. Establish key aspects of identity. Meet the demands of increasingly mature roles and responsibilities. Renegotiate relationships with adults and parenting roles.

The Five Basics of Parenting Adolescents Love and Connect Monitor and Observe Guide and Limit Model and Consult Provide and Advocate Project on the Parenting of Adolescents Center for Health Communication Harvard School of Public Health

Parenting With Love & Logic 101 What style of parent are you?

Helicopter Parent Hovers over child and rescues child from the hostile world in which they live Makes excuses for child Protects child from any negative feelings or consequences Makes decisions for the child

The Turbo Attack Helicopter Model Same as a regular Helicopter Parent, except that this parent does not just rescue and defend, they will attack anyone else who holds their children accountable for their actions.

Drill Sergeant Commands and directs the life of the child Makes many demands and issues orders and threats Uses many harsh words and punishment Tells the child how to feel and what to do

The Love & Logic Parent: Coach / Consultant Provides guidance and consultant services for their children Models for child Makes sure the child owns the problem, and helps child explore alternatives and make decisions Allows child to experience life’s natural consequences

Resources at IMS IMS 6th Grade School Counselors, Dru Klein (A-L) Jayna Rubin (M-Z) MIYFS, Counselor & Prevention Staff Harry Brown, LMFT, CMHS Tambi Cork, Prevention Educator Teachers Administrators

Online Resources Raising Teens, Havard School of Education Raising Teens: The Ten Tasks of Adolescence/The Five Basics of Parenting Adolescents Parenting With Love and Logic Stop Bullying Now Information for parents, youth and educators. Common Sense Media Social/Digital Media info Dan Siegel: Name it to Tame it Understanding Emotions and the Brain