GABLE'S FOUR RESPONSES TO GOOD NEWS

RESPONDING POSITIVELY TO OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS I can never resist telling people good news. I mean, why not brighten someone else's life too? – Sophie Kinsella, author. It's natural to want to share our happy tidings, and we hope our friends, family or colleagues will be pleased for us. In most cases, we get the positive, excited response we hope for. But we might also have someone "burst our bubble" with a dismissive shrug or even a wholly negative response.

If you've experienced the disappointment of having your good news rejected, you should be careful not to do the same to others. In this article, we explore the four responses people can have to good news, and we look at how you can react positively and constructively to someone else's good fortune.

GABLE'S FOUR RESPONSES TO GOOD NEWS Shelly Gable, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, identified four possible responses to sharing good news: Active-constructive Passive-constructive Active-destructive Passive-destructive

LET'S IMAGINE YOU HAVE JUST TOLD A COLLEAGUE THAT YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED LET'S IMAGINE YOU HAVE JUST TOLD A COLLEAGUE THAT YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED. HERE ARE GABLE'S FOUR POSSIBLE RESPONSES:

ACTIVE-CONSTRUCTIVE: The responder is enthusiastic, interested and supportive. He or she might say, "That's brilliant news! I'm so pleased for you. Can I help you prepare?"

PASSIVE-CONSTRUCTIVE: He seems positive but his response is muted and with no enquiry. He says, "That's nice," with no real interest or enthusiasm.

ACTIVE-DESTRUCTIVE: In this scenario, she energetically belittles or reinterprets your good news, focusing on any negative implications. She might say, "Seriously? It looks like more work for not much money, and the people there are boring. It doesn't sound that great to me."

PASSIVE-DESTRUCTIVE: He barely acknowledges your announcement or changes the subject. A typical response might be, "I see. Anyway, guess who I saw on my way in?"

Of these four responses, active-constructive is the one that has a positive impact and can boost the quality of your relationships . It makes you feel listened to, and it validates the event's importance to you. Positive, engaged responses can build trust and rapport . Ultimately, they are a cornerstone of personal, professional and team successes. As positive interactions accumulate, they can have effects that go far beyond the initial conversation. Feeling positive can boost happiness and confidence , and reduce stress .

How to Respond Positively to Good News If you want people to react positively to your good news, it's only right that you should afford them the same courtesy and professionalism when they share their good news with you. Here are some tips to help you be an active-constructive responder: Listen actively and with empathy. Demonstrate your interest. If you can't be positive, be constructive.

LISTEN ACTIVELY AND WITH EMPATHY. Let her know you're giving her your full attention. Don't interrupt and use positive body language , such as keeping eye contact, smiling and sitting up straight.

DEMONSTRATE YOUR INTEREST. After she has delivered her news, ask questions and offer upbeat responses. For example, you could say, "How satisfying. You must be so pleased," or, "That's brilliant! Your boss will be delighted!" Be positive but don't overdo the praise , or you could come across as insincere.

IF YOU CAN'T BE POSITIVE, BE CONSTRUCTIVE. If you have some doubts or concerns about someone's announcement, don't be dismissive or negative. Try to be constructive and tactful in your response.

Positive interactions in the workplace benefit everyone Positive interactions in the workplace benefit everyone. We feel happier and more engaged and confident when we enjoy good relationships with our team members and colleagues What can you do if your good news falls on unappreciative ears? It can be disheartening to receive a less-than-enthusiastic reaction to good news, and to feel that someone has "taken the wind out of your sails." But there are a few ways to cope with a negative response. First, stay positive . Don't let any negativity dampen your mood and don't take it personally. Focus on the good news itself. Besides, the next person you tell may be far more encouraging.