Unit 3: Up Close and Personal - Intimate Relationships Activity 1: Hooking Up - Social Science Gets Personal

Before we proceed What factors do you think contribute to how an intimate relationship develops? What are some stages or phases of intimate relationships that you know? How do you think social scientists explain intimate relationships? Think of some questions that you have about intimate relationships. Include questions about the characteristics and influences on the development of intimate relationships, traditional and non-traditional relationships, and what influences decision making in intimate relationships.

Variations on Marriage What are intimate relationships?  These are personal connections involving close emotional involvements between friends, blood relatives, or married people.  Some forms of intimate relationships may involve sexual relations. Marriage comes in many forms, in both traditional and non-traditional forms.  Marriage is typically recognized as a formal, legal arrangement with a sexual component.  People may be married as a result of free-choice mate selection, or an arranged marriage. Some couples choose their own mates, while others enter into an arranged relationship.

Cohabitation People who cohabitate are considered common-law spouses but are not legally married. There are several alternatives to the traditional marriage relationship. In Canada, ________________ is becoming increasingly popular. ________________________, where the partners maintain separate households but are committed to the relationship, are also on the rise. ___________________have become socially acceptable. Homosexual relationships are an alternative to a traditional relationship.

Many couples remarry after divorce or the death of a spouse. In all variations, ___________________________________________________________________________________________. While monogamy is a familiar form of marriage in Canada, polygamy is common in many other societies such as Tibet and southern India. Fresh starts, involving remarriage and cohabitation, is another alternative to the traditional marriage relationship. Many couples remarry after divorce or the death of a spouse.

Theories of Attraction ________________________________ that is used as a foundation for intimate relationships.  Historically, marriages were more of a benefit to the family group than the individuals. 

Romantic love has only recently become a factor in the development of intimate relationships.  However, it is still not the norm in many cultures around the world.  Many relationships are the result of _______________, as people want to appear like other couples and avoid stereotypes associated with not being in a relationship.

The __________________________ is interested in the social influences on individual interactions.  Social exchange theorists believe that people find mates because they are attracted to different types of people who can offer them something, such as physical attractiveness, social status or wealth, engaging personalities, etc.

___________________________believe that individuals choose a mate based on their idealized image of the perfect partner.  Individuals decide if the people they meet will fit this ideal and judge them to be attractive or not, accordingly.  Qualifications for attractiveness are based on interactions the individual has had from childhood on, with a wide range of people including family and community members, as well as media images.

____________theorists explain that attraction is based on similarities between the individuals.  People are attracted to others who share physical, socio-economic, age, and ethnicity characteristics, as well as values and religious and political values.  People can be attracted to individuals who meet their criteria for a suitable mate.

_________________ explains that mates are found amongst the people with whom the individual associates.  Bernard Murstein’s _____________ explains mate selection as a result of a “filtering” process.  Individuals are selected from a pool of eligible candidates and are assessed for homogenous (common) qualities, including propinquity, attraction, and compatibility, before being deemed an acceptable partner. 

_______________________theorist David Buss believes that women are attracted to men who can offer financial improvements over their current socio-economic status.  Women apparently pursue men who have the potential to be a successful family provider. 

However, men are less concerned with “marrying up” than they are attracted to women who appear able to have characteristics that would enable them to bear and raise successful children, including wide hips and sufficient body fat. People can be attracted to individuals who share their interests and values.

________________________about love contains three interrelated concepts_________________.  The strength of each of the three concepts determines the type of intimacy, from friendship to romance to mature intimacy.

Anthropologist Helen Fisher explains that historically, women selected mates who would provide for their families, as the women needed to stay with their children to protect them.  Men selected women through which he would be able to pass on his genes. 

Sociologist Emile Durkheim discovered that intimate relationships affected individual survival as well as benefitted society: married people committed suicide less often than non-married people, and wedding ceremonies created a sense of social cohesion. Max Weber explained marriage as an arrangement that provided partnerships between feudal households, which increased the power of the family clans.  Karl Marx and Frederick Engels theorized that marriage is a way to establish economic security for a family, through the inheritance of wealth. 

Agenda Homework Start by taking up case study on page 183-84 Dating Game activity/Work on organizer for History of Marriage Finish notes on Activity 1 Homework Start Postcard assignment

Characteristics of Enduring Intimate Relationships Many researchers have made several studies of successful marriages, and identified a number of common attributes.  Successful and satisfying relationships contain common characteristics.

Enduring relationships are characterized by the following: Companionship through similar values and pastimes. . Establishing new boundaries, limiting the influences of the childhood families, and prioritizing the marriage relationship. Maintaining romance, love, and devotion. Developing an identity as a couple, while maintaining independence of each spouse.

Enduring relationships are characterized by the following: (cont…) 7.. 8. Managing life crises together. 9. Open communication and providing opportunity for the expression of negative emotions. 10. r. 11. Mutual respect and empathy. 12..

Stages ___________________________________ in satisfaction occur over the development of the intimate relationship.  Intimate relationships may cycle through these stages many times over the lifespan of their relationships. 

Stage 1: Partners enjoy each other’s company, and are on _____________ in pursuit of the ideal relationship. New relationships are marked by romance and infatuation.

Stage 2: Predictable, normal events that may happen throughout the lifespan of an intimate relationship may cause stress in the relationship, reduce marital satisfaction, and require that the partners resolve the conflict if the relationship is to survive the event.

Some events may include the birth of a child, the teenage years, children becoming adults, retirement, and old age. Other less-predictable events such as unemployment, financial strain, or the death of a child will also stress a relationship. When conflict is present Individuals needs to be honest with each other and adapt their own behaviours if the relationship is to succeed.

Mature relationships have experienced many conflicts. Stage 3: Negotiation and compromise establishes stability, and a more realistic relationship that creates alignment between each individual’s needs and expectations. According to the _____________, individuals must negotiate the rules of their relationship that determine everyday decisions and routines. A relationship between partners who establish this marital system is more likely to succeed over time. Mature relationships have experienced many conflicts.

Remember…Negotiation is an important part of a successful, enduring relationship.