Baumeister & Tice Chapter 7 Novelty, Passion, and Intimacy

Novelty as Limited Resource Novelty associated with excitement, arousal NEW things/partners interesting, fun 1sts very exciting, 2nds less exciting, 3rds less… Habituation Limited number of novel sexual acts Long-term relationships may lose novelty Sexual passion may fade over time Passion enhanced by new partners (affairs), behaviors

Evidence: Sex & Long-Term Relationships Negative relationship between years together & sexual f Blumstein & Schwartz (1983) ~50% newlyweds had sex 3/week, ~20% married 10 years had sex that often Divorce & remarry -> rise in sexual f Not just effect of aging Similar decline for cohabitating couples

Evidence Pornography (Mann et al., 1974) No porn 20% had sex, w/ porn 66% had sex Response decreased each time they watched Habituation Period of avoidance can cause novelty rebound So how are novelty & passion connected?

Passion & Intimacy Intimacy - cognitive Knowledge, favorable attitude, affection Passion - emotion & feelings of attraction How are they related? Tend to be +rd in surveys Passion low in long-term relationships (LTR) Intimacy high Remarriage increases passion (intimacy low)

Passion & Intimacy P = C (dI/dt) Change in intimacy -> change in passion As I rises P rises P = C (dI/dt) P = passion, I = intimacy, t = time, C = constant Implies: As I stabilizes P decreases

P = C (dI/dt)

P = C (dI/dt) Intimacy is a limited resource in LTR I can only increase so much After 20 years you know ALL there is to know So P inevitably goes down because I is stable

Gender Differences: C Males have larger C than females P = C (dI/dt) Function (of I-> P) steeper for males than females Faster rate of passion rise/unit of intimacy

Gender Differences: C Males have larger C than females More rapid passion w/ less intimacy Communication problems Friendliness misunderstood by men as come on C (small intimacy input, large passion output) Romantic nature of men Men score higher on self-report Fall in love & ready for sex faster Unrequited love (rejected man most common)

Reaction Paper VII: Novelty in Long Term Relationships Given the loss of novelty & the maximization of intimacy in LTR, are we all doomed to experience passionless love in our LTR? If so what do you think about this? What other benefits might a LTR accrue for us? Are they worth it or should we have a lifelong string of brief, passion-filled affairs? Please turn in at end of class

Conclusion Passion fades as intimacy becomes stable LTR inevitably show passion deficit C is larger for men than women Men build passion faster w/ less intimacy Relationship implications Start slow and go far