Exceeding/Meeting Sample F-E, O-E, El-M, Fl-M, V-E, C-M

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Exceeding/Meeting Sample F-E, O-E, El-M, Fl-M, V-E, C-M I read the book A Long Walk To Water by Linda Sue Park. It was a book about the lost boys of Sudan. I think the main character Salva Dut, is a strong character. I Think this because, he is very brave, he is a great leader, and he persevered. I do think that in the book he was scared and weak at times but I also think that every fear he had  made him a little bit stronger as a person. I think Salva Dut is a very brave person. For example, on page 17, the text said, that Salva stayed in the women's barn that night because he had know where to sleep and the group he was with abandoned him. , he was brave to stay there. Because the war between the north and the south was going on and if he was caught alone in a barn hiding… he would have been shot by the North. Let alone that wasn't with his dad or any family members… his dad was the leader of Loan Arrick, his village.  If I was salva I would be very nervous to be out in the open like that, also being alone.   Salva Dut is a very good leader. For example on page 81 he would lead the boys to Kenya and they would follow his orders, he was the person in charge now that he was older, everyone looked up to him for support. ¨There were times when some of the boys did not want to do their share of work to find water or food. Salva would talk to them, encourage them, coax and persuade them. Once and awhile he had to speak sternly, or even shout. But he tried not to do this often. This is why Salva is a good leader, he didn't force anything but he helped them get through the times of their journey. Introduce claim(s) and organize the reasons and evidence clearly. Acknowledges that there is another side Supports claim with clear reasons and relevant evidence, using credible sources. Explains how the text evidence supports the reason Uses transitional phrases and language to create writing fluency and expand ideas Analyzes or explains the evidence to fit the argument. Uses words, phrases, and clauses to clarify the relationships among claims and reasons.

Salva Dut persevered through everything Salva Dut persevered through everything. For example, on page 79 and 80 salva crossed the Gilo river to head to Kenya. The river was known for one thing and one thing only, crocodiles. Salva crossed the river safely while watching people fly above shooting down at them, people in the river were being shot at and eaten by crocs. Salva persevered and kept going even though  he saw many horrifying things. On page 40 and 41 Salva's Uncle was shot at and killed and Salva kept going even though he just lost his only family left. ¨Three shots ran out ,the men ran away. They buried uncle in a hole about 3 ft deep. Out of respect the group walked no more that day to honor the man who had been their leader, Salva's Uncle.” So salva kept walking the next day and carried on even though he watched his uncle die. This shows that Salva really persevered. These reasons and examples all show that Salva Dut is a very strong character because he is very brave, he is a great leader, and he perseveres through everything. There were parts where Salva was a little bit weak but over all he was very strong through these HORRIFIC times. I think all the boys who survived or died should get lots of respect because they went through some things that people like us could never even imagine. Produces clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience. Gathers relevant information from multiple print and digital sources, assesses the credibility of each source, and quotes or paraphrases them. Brought out why the argument mattered and why readers should care Provides a concluding statement or section that follows from the argument presented Suggested Teaching Points: -Development of a more interesting introduction -Increased variation of transitional phrases -Avoidance of run-on sentences

F-M, O-M, El-M (Shaky), Fl-M, V-E, C-M Meeting Sample F-M, O-M, El-M (Shaky), Fl-M, V-E, C-M In the book a Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park I think the main character Salva is a strong character. I think this because he is hardworking, he is brave, and he is persiverent. The first reason I think Salva is a strong character because he is hardworking. For example, on pages 16-18  when Salva met the old lady he worked for 3 days collecting firewood and water from the pond so the old woman wouldn’t send him away. This shows he is hardworking because he worked for three whole days doing hard work, he even slept in a barn. I think Salva is a strong character because he is brave.  For example, on page 40-41 when Salva was walking through lion country he knew that his friend was killed by a lion. He could have easily been killed by a lion too. I know if I were him I wouldn’t even go into lion country knowing I could be killed by a lion any second. This shows he is brave because he was able to walk even though he could die at any second. Another example of how Salva is brave is on pages 77-79 when he crossed a dangerous river. This river was a long way across, but to add to that, it is infested with crocodiles, it has a strong current, and people are shooting at him. I know I wouldn’t cross this river. This shows Salva is brave because he was willing to cross that river even when all those dangerous things were happening. Introduce claim(s) and organize the reasons and evidence clearly. Supports claim with clear reasons and relevant evidence. Explains how the text evidence supports the reason Uses transitional words, phrases, and clauses to clarify the relationships among claims and reasons.

Suggested Teaching Points: -Use of direct quotes . The last reason why I think Salva is a strong character is because he is persiverent. For example, on pages 50-52 when the mosquitos were biting him. Salva was trying to sleep after a long day, but thousands of mosquitos kept biting him. So Salva got no sleep and the next day he was really tired. This shows Salva is brave because he could have easily given up just because he was to tired, but no, he didn’t he kept walking throughout the next day. These are the reasons why I think the main character Salva in the book a Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park is a strong character. He is hardworking, he is brave, and he is persiverent. I hope that after reading this essay you too think that Salva is a strong character Argument is organized into sections and the structure makes sense. Logic falters in this paragraph, as the evidence does not match the reason. Provides a concluding statement or section that follows from the argument presented Suggested Teaching Points: -Use of direct quotes -Acknowledgement of another side -Consistent logic and connection of reasons and evidence -Development of interest in introductions and conclusions -Variation in transitional phrases