Knowing When and How to Call Someone Out: Confronting Members within the SG Suzette Walden, M.Ed.©

Let’s Get to Know Ourselves. . . Take a few moments and answer the following questions for yourself: When was the last time you confronted someone? Why did you do it? How did it go?

Let’s Get to Know One Another. . . Find a partner and answer the following questions: What is your partner’s name? Ask him/her for his/her position and institution Share your story from earlier. . . What is your partner’s definition of conflict? What is your partner’s definition of confrontation?

What we are covering today. . . Definitions of conflict and confrontation Reasons why confrontations can be difficult for individuals and SGs Personality profiles of student leaders in groups Effective strategies for engaging in confrontations Role of advisor and SG officers in SG conflicts

Definition & Dealing with Conflict What comes to mind when you think of conflict? How do we define conflict? CONFLICT is: an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals. (Wilmot & Hocker) Now that we can define it, what does it look like in our SGs?

Personality Profiles of Student Leaders in Groups Students may take on a variety of roles when working in group settings Some result in positive behaviors, some in negative Group work can bring out different personalities in students

Primary & Secondary Dimensions: A different way of thinking. . .

The PIN Model of Conflict Positions: What we state that we want Interests: What we really want Needs: What we must have How do we see this take form? Source: Emerson, Undated (Rpt. Olshak, 2001)

Before the Confrontation. . . Understanding your triggers. . . Ask yourself the first question – what’s bothering me about this? Then, ask the second question – why is it bothering me? Finally, ask the third question – what are you prepared to do about it?

Staging the Confrontation. . . Be direct Use I statements Speak to the issue/behavior Don’t make it personal Does someone else need to be present? Remember to be: Culturally competent Understand the gender dynamic Understand the power dynamic

Electronic Confrontation. . . Not for primary use. . .Let’s chat! Documenting the conversation Let’s take the vow together. . .

After the Confrontation. . . Allow for time and space Recognize that things may be awkward at first Do not gossip about it Checking in

Putting You to the Test. . . Scenario #2 Katrina, a vibrant SG senator, is really excited about having just been elected. She is interested in pursuing leadership within the Assembly; but, does not get voted into office. Applications come out for representing the SG at the ASGA National Summit in Washington, D.C. Katrina is so excited; she is one of the first people to get her application into the Executive Officers for consideration. After careful review of all of the applications, the Executive Officers selected Katrina to go to the conference. A month later, the SG Advisor met with the Student Body Vice President to confirm the names of attendees in preparation for the purchase of airline tickets and registration.

Scenario #2, continued Through the course of that discussion, the SG Advisor discovered that Katrina was planning on studying abroad in the Spring semester; giving her only two months after the conference to benefit the SG and the University. So, the SG Advisor met with the Student Body President, Craig, to discuss the matter further. During their meeting, the SG Advisor raised the issue of good fiscal stewardship and challenged the decision to allow Katrina to go. The SG had a senator the year prior go to the conference under the same circumstances; and that senator was unable to fulfill the obligations upon her return. Craig took the matter under advisement and met with the other Executive Officers. The outcome of the second meeting was to select an alternate to attend in Katrina’s place. Craig then notified Katrina of the change.

What do you do? Scenario #2, continued Katrina was very upset at the decision. She sends Craig a flaming email; she left the SG Facebook Group; and she changed her status on Facebook to read, “Oppressed by the SG Executive Dictatorship.” Craig comes to you angry with the situation and Katrina’s unprofessional reaction. What do you do?

Proactively Controlling for Conflicts Discuss this type of information in training sessions It’s important that an SG member understands his/her conflict style; and how it is juxtaposed against the rest of the Assembly. Have everyone in the group complete a conflict styles assessment and then have the group discuss Providing resources on how to manage conflict before it escalates Use Case Studies in Trainings Talk through different scenarios and how the group might react to those Encourage your SG to discuss and set-up clear expectations/guidelines at the beginning Both for behavior on and off the Assembly floor Make sure there are clear guidelines for when something does comes up; i.e. a grievance procedure Develop a Code of Ethics or Statement of Understanding

Determining who should be the one to confront. . . Who has the best relationship with the person? Are the parties involved unable (or unwilling) to resolve it on their own? Is the conflict/behavior affecting the SG’s work? Is the conflict/behavior affecting the rest of the SG members? Is the behavior creating an ethical/credibility issue for SG Is the conflict/behavior becoming a major distraction to the SG?

Questions. . .