Eliminating Wordiness “[Y]ou can think of your draft as a puzzle; to solve it, you have to find and eliminate the superfluities that obscure your meaning. The object is to delete as many words as possible without sacrificing substance or nuance.” -Claire Kehrwald Cook

Avoid “Be” Verbs am are is was were being been “Be” verbs are considered actionless verbs and should be changed to active verbs when appropriate.

Avoid “Be” Verbs The boring textbook was being read by the students. change to The students read the boring textbook .

Avoid “Be” Verbs It is better to become a nurse instead of a teacher. change to Nursing pays better than teaching does.

WARNING!!! Sometimes you should use “be” verbs. I am 21 years old. Or if the agent—the one performing the action—is unknown, you may use the passive voice. The walls had been defaced by graffiti.

Active vs. Passive Verbs In academic writing (with the exception of scientific writing) active sentences are preferred over passive ones.

Active vs. Passive Verbs In sentences written in the active voice, the subject performs the action expressed by the verb. Roseanne wrote the paper.

Active vs. Passive Verbs In sentences written in the passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed by the verb. The paper was written by Roseanne.

Active vs. Passive Passive: The Old Man and the Sea was written by Hemingway. change to Active: Hemingway wrote The Old Man and the Sea.

Active vs. Passive Passive: It is believed by some critics that Psycho is Hitchcock’s greatest film. change to Active: Some critics believe that Psycho is Hitchcock’s greatest film.

WARNING! At times, it may be appropriate to write in the passive voice. The passive voice is preferred in scientific papers. Experiments have been conducted to test the safety of generic pharmaceuticals. English and Humanities papers, however, are written in the active voice. Dr. Harker conducted experiments to test the safety of generic pharmaceuticals.

Condense Phrases into Single Words The employee with ambition got the promotion. change to The ambitious employee got the promotion.

Condense Phrases into Single Words Rob decided to retake the class at a later date in time. change to Rob decided to retake the class later.

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. the reason for for the reason that due to the fact that in light of the fact that considering the fact that this is why = because, since, why

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. on the occasion of in a situation in which under circumstances in which = when

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. it is crucial that it is necessary that there is a need for it is important that cannot be avoided = must, should

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. = may, might, could it is possible that there is a chance that it could happen that the possibility exists for

Avoid Repetitive Wording end result past experience share in common small in size = end = past = share = small

Avoid Repetitive Wording made a discovery made an attempt made an accusation made an appearance made a decision = discovered = attempted = accused = appeared = decided

Avoid Repetitive Wording I thought in my head I thought to myself In my mind, I think In my opinion, I think = I thought = I think

Review Avoid “be” verbs: am, are, is, was, were, being, been. Use active rather than passive verbs. Condense phrases into single words. Omit repetitive wording.

Eliminating Wordiness Eliminate wordiness in the editing stage of the writing process. With practice you will automatically eliminate wordiness as you draft your papers.