Introductory Seminar November 7th, 2017 Help for the Hurting Introductory Seminar November 7th, 2017

A few thoughts as we begin: Our time together this evening can be as interactive as you want it to be; feel free to ask questions and share your thoughts as we go along We are recording these sessions so that we can post them online, that way others who were not able to make it tonight can benefit as well -if you want to share something but do not want it to be online, let me know and I can pause the recording, or we can discuss it afterward My role is not that of a counselor, but that of a facilitator; my goal is to provide you with the knowledge you may need so that you can find the solution to the challenges you may be facing yourself My wife and I are willing to make ourselves available through the week, if there are more specific issues you needed help dealing with

Wounded on the Inside When any of us are wounded physically, what help do we naturally seek?

Wounded on the Inside When any of us are wounded physically, what help do we naturally seek? -First Aid – to stabilize

Wounded on the Inside When any of us are wounded physically, what help do we naturally seek? -First Aid – to stabilize -Assessment – to determine damage caused, and how best to deal with that damage

Wounded on the Inside When any of us are wounded physically, what help do we naturally seek? -First Aid – to stabilize -Assessment – to determine damage caused, and how best to deal with that damage -Treatment – to repair

Wounded on the Inside When any of us are wounded physically, what help do we naturally seek? -First Aid – to stabilize -Assessment – to determine damage caused, and how best to deal with that damage -Treatment – to repair -Recuperation – to allow healing to occur

Wounded on the Inside When any of us are wounded physically, what help do we naturally seek? -First Aid – to stabilize -Assessment – to determine damage caused, and how best to deal with that damage -Treatment – to repair -Recuperation – to allow healing to occur -Rehabilitation – to restore function

Wounded on the Inside It is fairly easy to understand what to do when we are wounded on the outside, but what do we do when we are wounded on the inside?

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside:

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence)

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence) -Abuse (Verbal, Physical, Sexual)

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence) -Abuse (Verbal, Physical, Sexual) -Bullying

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence) -Abuse (Verbal, Physical, Sexual) -Bullying -Loss (of loved ones, job, possessions)

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence) -Abuse (Verbal, Physical, Sexual) -Bullying -Loss (of loved ones, job, possessions) -Divorce/Separation

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence) -Abuse (Verbal, Physical, Sexual) -Bullying -Loss (of loved ones, job, possessions) -Divorce/Separation -Stress Overload

Wounded on the Inside Events Which Can Wound us on the Inside: -Trauma (Accidents, Acts of Violence) -Abuse (Verbal, Physical, Sexual) -Bullying -Loss (of loved ones, job, possessions) -Divorce/Separation -Stress Overload -Others?

Wounded on the Inside When wounded on the inside, we need much the same help as we do when wounded on the outside; the problem is, we don't understand the hurt we feel, and we don't know where to go to get the help we need, so we try to find ways to cope with the hurt.

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside -Denial - (“I'm fine”)

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside -Denial - (“I'm fine”) -Self-Medication/Substance Abuse

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside -Denial - (“I'm fine”) -Self-Medication/Substance Abuse -Withdrawal

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside -Denial - (“I'm fine”) -Self-Medication/Substance Abuse -Withdrawal -Escape

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside -Denial - (“I'm fine”) -Self-Medication/Substance Abuse -Withdrawal -Escape -Explosion

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside -Denial - (“I'm fine”) -Self-Medication/Substance Abuse -Withdrawal -Escape -Explosion -Self Harm/Suicide

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside With all these various ways we try to cope with the hurt we feel, we need to ask ourselves the following questions:

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside With all these various ways we try to cope with the hurt we feel, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: -Is this making me better or worse?

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside With all these various ways we try to cope with the hurt we feel, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: -Is this making me better or worse? -Is this helping me to heal or preventing me from healing?

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside With all these various ways we try to cope with the hurt we feel, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: -Is this making me better or worse? -Is this helping me to heal or preventing me from healing? -What harmful side-effects have I been experiencing as a result of choosing this coping mechanism?

Ways We Try to Cope When Hurt on the Inside With all these various ways we try to cope with the hurt we feel, we need to ask ourselves the following questions: -Is this making me better or worse? -Is this helping me to heal or preventing me from healing? -What harmful side-effects have I been experiencing as a result of choosing this coping mechanism? -Is anyone around me being adversely affected, or will be adversely affected by this coping mechanism I have chosen?

Exploring Alternatives Questions to Ask Ourselves:

Exploring Alternatives Questions to Ask Ourselves: -What other options could I explore that would be better than what I am trying now?

Exploring Alternatives Questions to Ask Ourselves: -What other options could I explore that would be better than what I am trying now? -What other people can I reach out to that may be able and willing to help me?

Exploring Alternatives Questions to Ask Ourselves: -What other options could I explore that would be better than what I am trying now? -What other people can I reach out to that may be able and willing to help me? -Where would this option/individual fit in the continuum of my recovery?

Exploring Alternatives Questions to Ask Ourselves: -What other options could I explore that would be better than what I am trying now? -What other people can I reach out to that may be able and willing to help me? -Where would this option/individual fit in the continuum of my recovery? -Is there an area of my recovery that I have overlooked?

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “I'm tough, I can handle it.”

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “I'm tough, I can handle it.” -It is okay to admit you are struggling; those close to you can already tell.

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “I'm tough, I can handle it.” -It is okay to admit you are struggling; those close to you can already tell. -“When I am weak, then am I strong” - when we recognize our need we can get the help we need; when we refuse to we cut ourselves off from that help.

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “No one understands what I'm going through.”

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “No one understands what I'm going through.” -Are you sure? Is there no one that has gone through a similar experience?

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “No one understands what I'm going through.” -Are you sure? Is there no one that has gone through a similar experience? -Have you ever tried to explain to someone what you are going through? If not, how can they understand?

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “No one cares about me.”

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “No one cares about me.” -Are you sure? Have you perhaps been looking for love in all the wrong places?

Attitudes that Prevent us from Seeking Help “No one cares about me.” -Are you sure? Have you perhaps been looking for love in all the wrong places? -Have you provided your loved ones with an opportunity to know your struggles and try to help you?

Finding the Help We Need

Finding the Help We Need When we are wounded on the inside, there are various strategies, resources and individuals that can provide us help in our healing and recovery, but all have their limitations:

Finding the Help We Need When we are wounded on the inside, there are various strategies, resources and individuals that can provide us help in our healing and recovery, but all have their limitations: -In Knowledge

Finding the Help We Need When we are wounded on the inside, there are various strategies, resources and individuals that can provide us help in our healing and recovery, but all have their limitations: -In Knowledge -In Experience

Finding the Help We Need When we are wounded on the inside, there are various strategies, resources and individuals that can provide us help in our healing and recovery, but all have their limitations: -In Knowledge -In Experience -In Compassion/Empathy

Finding the Help We Need When we are wounded on the inside, there are various strategies, resources and individuals that can provide us help in our healing and recovery, but all have their limitations: -In Knowledge -In Experience -In Compassion/Empathy -In Availability

Finding the Help We Need When you have a problem with your vehicle that no one seems to be able to figure out, where would you go for help?

Finding the Help We Need When you have a problem with your vehicle that no one seems to be able to figure out, where would you go for help? Your best option would be to get in contact with the designer and manufacturer or your vehicle, who would be able to pinpoint the problem and provide you with the solution you seek.

Finding The Help We Need Would it not therefore make sense that if something is wrong in us that we can't fix, that we turn to our designer and manufacturer for help?

Finding The Help We Need Would it not therefore make sense that if something is wrong in us that we can't fix, that we turn to our designer and manufacturer for help? God is unlimited in knowledge – Psalm 147:5

Finding The Help We Need Would it not therefore make sense that if something is wrong in us that we can't fix, that we turn to our designer and manufacturer for help? God is unlimited in knowledge – Psalm 147:5 God is unlimited in experience – Hebrews 4:15

Finding The Help We Need Would it not therefore make sense that if something is wrong in us that we can't fix, that we turn to our designer and manufacturer for help? God is unlimited in knowledge – Psalm 147:5 God is unlimited in experience – Hebrews 4:15 God is unlimited in compassion – Psalm 86:15

Finding The Help We Need Would it not therefore make sense that if something is wrong in us that we can't fix, that we turn to our designer and manufacturer for help? God is unlimited in knowledge – Psalm 147:5 God is unlimited in experience – Hebrews 4:15 God is unlimited in compassion – Psalm 86:15 God is unlimited in availability - Psalm 46:1

Finding the Help We Need As we each come to know God personally, and grow in our relationship with him, we can find the recovery and healing we need, to the point that we can then be equipped to help others in their recovery.

Finding the Help We Need As we each come to know God personally, and grow in our relationship with him, we can find the recovery and healing we need, to the point that we can then be equipped to help others in their recovery. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3,4