SESSION 3 Coping with feelings 3.1

SESSION PLAN Labelling. Talking to your child about their condition. Handling other people’s comments. Emotional reactions. Coping with feelings. 3.2

LABELLING “We felt for a long time that something was wrong. It was a relief when someone put a name to it.” “Ben’s got ADHD so we can’t expect him to behave properly.” 3.3

THE PROS AND CONS OF LABELLING When a child gets a diagnosis, they also get a ‘label’. What are the advantages of labelling? Are there any disadvantages? 3.4

TALKING TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT THEIR CONDITION Talk to them naturally and simply. Explain it in a way that they will understand. It benefits the whole family. It helps prevent anxieties and isolation. 3.5a and 3.5b

HANDLING OTHER PEOPLE’S COMMENTS How do you cope with other peoples comments about your child or their behaviour? 3.6a and 3.6b

HOW DOES YOUR CHILD COPE WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S COMMENTS? 3.7a and 3.7b

BREAK 3.8

EMOTIONAL REACTIONS “I didn’t want to talk about it with other people just after the diagnosis because doing that would mean that it was real – that it was true. I was struggling to accept that it was really true and not just a mistake the specialist had made.” 3.9

STAGES OF GRIEF Kubler-Ross Description Parent’s reaction Denial “It can’t be true!” “They’ll grow out of it.” “How could this have happened?” Anger “It isn’t fair this is happening.” “This has spoilt my/our life.” “How can God do this to me?” 3.10

STAGES OF GRIEF Kubler-Ross Description Parent’s reaction Bargaining “If my child gets well, I’ll devote the rest of my life to doing good.” Grief Begins to face what’s happening. Has shattered dreams of having a ‘perfect child’. Feels sad and vulnerable. Acceptance “This is the situation I’m in.” “I’ll do what I can.” 3.11

ACCEPTING OUR FEELINGS These feelings are normal. They don’t make you a bad parent. They are best acknowledged – not buried. Other family members have feelings too and may be at different stage of acceptance. 3.12

Additional Needs Support Telephone befriending service: 029 2081 0800 CARE FOR THE FAMILY Additional Needs Support Telephone befriending service: 029 2081 0800 3.13

REFLECTION Today we have looked at: Last week’s focus for the week Labelling Talking to your child about their condition Handling other people’s comments Emotional reactions Coping with feelings 3.14

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK Tune in to your feelings. Try and identify one emotion each day. Tell someone how you feel (or write it down). 3.15

We will be looking at understanding behaviour. NEXT WEEK We will be looking at understanding behaviour. 3.16