Nursing Reflection~ Why Do I Nurse? Megan Jaskulski

What? I created a nursing reflection that highlighted my journey into nursing and a comparison after having been a nurse. I submitted my reflection to the Virginia Nurses Association for publication.

Why? I wanted to share my personal story of how I came to be a nurse. My original idea was to create a Facebook page to offer a platform for nurses of all experience to be able to share their journey. I changed my focus to showcasing my story to a nursing publication after lack of participation. I enjoy learning about the career paths of others because each story is unique.

My Reflection There are moments in life that you know you will always remember. I was 31 years-old when I experienced my first major loss. My grandmother’s death was the turning point in my profession. I was two years into my career in long term care as a member of administration management. My Memaw’s COPD had gotten progressively worse over the five years prior. Her last exacerbation led us to placing her in the facility I worked at and luckily for me, she was directly across the hall from my office. I was beyond grateful that I would be able to spend quality time with her, knowing she wouldn’t be alone near the end of her life. Then, unluckily for me, as the end grew closer, the anxiety peaked and she was no longer herself. The days drug out and wore me down, yet I wouldn’t have it any other way than knowing she was well taken care of between myself and co-workers I knew cared for their residents. Fortunately, Memaw had been admitted to Hospice to maximize her comfort. Inadvertently we soon found ourselves relying on hospice too. When my Memaw took her last few breaths, I was right there holding her hand. Although my mom and granddaddy had left earlier that morning, I wasn’t alone. I will always remember the peace that radiated from that Hospice nurse. She kept me prepared ahead of each phase so I wouldn’t be alarmed. Once the end was over, that nurse sat there with me—silently. When family arrived, she assessed each person’s needs and reacted accordingly. Once it was evident that she had done all that she could, she disappeared quietly into the background. While this was an unbearable loss, it was that nurse who made it a beautiful, bittersweet memory. It was in that moment that I knew that I wanted to make someone feel like she made me feel. That it why I became a nurse.💕 Two years later, as I look back over all that I have experienced, I consider why I am still a nurse. I have gained skills and knowledge, but no one taught me how to calm a dying patient and their family who is terrified of the inevitable and there’s no algorithm to guide me in placing ostomy appliances on a patient whose body is being eroded by medicine that is treating their cancer. I was never warned that being a nurse will consume my life and that the 12-hour shift means being awake for 18 hours out of 24 or that during those hours awake, emptying my own bladder is questionable. I was oblivious to the fact that I would think about my patients all the way home, nor did I know that I would wake up thinking about them. As odd as it may seem, nursing was my destiny. I was built for this. I didn’t choose nursing, it chose me.