Bullying at School Quiz: Do you agree or disagree? You’re a tattletale if you complain: this goes for kids and adults It is not tattling to protect and assert your right to not be bullied. It is courageous - the bully wants you to be quiet! Most bullies are boys Most physical bullying occurs among boys. Most verbal bullying and shunning is caused by girls. If a person is a bystander, they are not directly involved in the bullying Bystanders are present in 70% of bullying incidents, they ARE just as involved.

Bullying at School Quiz: Do you agree or disagree? Bullying doesn’t happen at our school 70% of students nationwide report being bullied in school, 15% on a regular basis Bullying is a natural part of childhood The height of bullying occurs between the 3rd & 8th grades. It is not natural, but is mean & cruel “Sticks & stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Children can work it out on their own - through simple retorts like this The emotional abuse of name-calling can lead to depression and even suicide

In a world without bullying… School is a more peaceful place. Students get better grades Students feel better about being in school

The bullying triangle bullies victims bystanders

In order to get power, they need: Bullies want power. . . BUT In order to get power, they need: victims helpers passive bystanders.

Reasons Why Someone Bullies To gain power To gain popularity and attention To act out problems from home To copy what someone else does that they look up to

Victims They are targets of the abuse. They often have a hard time standing up for themselves.

LEAD BY EXAMPLE BYSTANDERS They are the largest and most underused resource in our schools. They are 85% of the school population - the silent majority. Too often they ignore the violence and lose empathy towards the victims. LEAD BY EXAMPLE

Why Don’t Bystanders Get Involved? Fear of retaliation Don’t know what to do Afraid they’ll make things worse Worry about losing their social status Don’t believe that adults will help

Bullying is: Intentional, hurtful action against someone who has less power It is not normal conflict. It is not “just teasing”.

Normal Conflict vs. BULLYING Unequal power Equal Power Usually your friend Happens occasionally Accidental Not usually serious BULLYING Unequal power Not usually your friend Repeated negative actions Happens on purpose Serious hurt physically or emotionally

Hurtful Teasing Sensitive topic Purpose is to upset Friendly Teasing vs Equal power; friends Neutral topic Playful purpose Purpose is to include Funny Hurtful Teasing Imbalance of power, not friends Sensitive topic Purpose is to upset Purpose is to leave out Sarcastic

Telling vs. Tattling Unimportant Important The situation is harmful or dangerous physically or psychologically Need help from an adult to solve the issue Your purpose is to keep people safe The behavior is purposeful Tattling Unimportant Harmless You can handle it by yourself Your purpose is to get someone in trouble The behavior was accidental

You Decide: Joking? Teasing? Or Bullying? Sonia recently moved to Lincoln Heights and just finished her first week at the local middle school. At 5 ft 8 in, she towered over most of the students in her 7th grade class. While looking for a place to sit, another student called to her, “Hey, shorty, there’s a spot over here!” Sonia paused for a moment and another girl from the group waved her over. “Don’t pay attention to her,” she told Sonia. “That’s just the way we talk to each other. They call me Einstein because I got all C’s on my last report card.”

You Decide: Joking? Teasing? Or Bullying? For years, Nick has made fun of his best friend, Dave’s, peanut butter obsession. “You’d eat my gym sock if it was covered in peanut butter,” he once told Dave. One day in science lab, the students designed mazes to test the intelligence of white mice. When the teacher told the class that they would be baiting the mazes with peanut butter, Nick called out, “Better be careful - Dave might get to the end of the maze before the mice!” The other students broke out in laughter.

Bullying is a 3-headed beast verbal mental physical

Verbal It can include: Name-calling, teasing, threatening, intimidating phone calls. Racial and Ethnic Harassment: Comments or actions containing racial or ethnic content which are unwelcomed and make the recipient uncomfortable. Examples: ethnic jokes, racial name calling and racial slurs.

“Off Limit” Topics RACE ETHNICITY RELIGION GENDER APPEARANCE SOCIAL STATUS SEXUAL CONTENT

Mental Social/Relational Aggression: Spreading rumors, excluding others from your group. Intimidation: Graffiti, a dirty trick, taking possessions Written Aggression: Slam books, instant messaging, e-mail, note passing.

Physical punching pushing hitting kicking destroying someone’s property

WE have the power to stop bullies. WE have the power to make our school safe. WE have the power to make HART even greater than it is.