Prosocial Relations RG 14d

Unselfish regard for the welfare of others. Altruism Unselfish regard for the welfare of others. When or where have we seen altruistic behaviors in the past few years in America? 9-11 New Orleans

Why do we help and what influences our decision to help? Social Exchange Theory: people help in order to reduce the unpleasant arousal (feelings) caused by another person’s distress…yet at the same time, they attempt to minimize the “cost” of doing this deed “What will helping cost me vs. what will my help give the other person?” If benefit outweighs cost, WILL help…if cost outweighs benefit, NOT help. Reciprocity Norm: The expectation that we should return help not harm to those who have helped us. Social–Responsibility Norm: Largely learned, a norm that tells us to help others when they need us even though they may not repay us in kind.

Influencing factors in SE Theory Clarity for need of help…if person is in dire need, will help (most of the time)

“Kitty Genovese” On March 13, 1964, Catherine “Kitty” Genovese was returning to her apartment in a quiet, mostly residential area of Queens from her job as a bar manager at 3:15am As she walked the 20 feet from the parking lot to her door, a man, Winston Moseley, attacked her, stabbing her Kitty cried out, “Oh my God, he stabbed me! Please help me!” numerous neighbors later reported hearing the attack, many coming to look out their windows – one neighbor called out of his window “Let the girl alone!” At this call, Moseley left Kitty, lying on the pavement The apartment complex became still – Kitty struggled to her feet, bleeding badly from several stab wounds & made it to her side of the apartment complex to a locked door, grabbing the wall for support Approximately 5 minutes after the first attack, Moseley returned and began stabbing Kitty again – she cried out “I’m dying! I’m dying!” Again other people in the complex heard her – lights came on, windows opened, and people watched the scene from their apartments

“Kitty Genovese” Moseley fled a 2nd time, this time witnesses said to a “white Chevy” and appeared to drive away At 3:25am, Kitty bleeding profusely from her wounds, stumbled to the rear of her building & tried to enter through the back door The door was locked…she slid along the wall until she reached a hallway leading to the 2nd floor, falling on the floor at the entrance to the hall Moseley returned a THIRD time, following the trail of blood to where she lay bleeding on the floor While she lay semiconscious & incoherent, he sexually assaulted her and stabbed her the final 17th time, killing Kitty & fleeing the scene -- the entire event lasted at least 32 minutes About 3:50am, a neighbor of Kitty’s called the police Before doing so, he called a friend and asked what he should do When the police began investigating, they discovered 38 people who had heard or observed in some part the fatal assault

“Kitty Genovese” On March 27, The New York Times published the now famous “37 Who Saw Murder Didn’t Call the Police” article by Martin Gansberg…drawing national attention to the crime/story

Influencing factors in SE Theory Presence of others Diffusion of responsibility…if more people are present, the responsibility for helping spread amongst all present Bystander effect – as the number of people present increases, the likelihood that ONE person will help decreases Most experts agree that in the Kitty Genovese case, the witnesses all felt that “someone else” would step in and help Information about the Kitty Genovese Murder from http://www.trutv.com

Influencing factors in SE Theory Personality of helper (especially mood of person) Feel good, do good phenomenon Other environmental factors Being in a small town/rural area Not being in a rush/hurry Nice weather Having just observed someone else being helpful/having just been helped themselves

Other helping theories… Empathy-altruism theory People help for completely altruistic reasons and are usually motivated by the desire to increase another person’s well-being – depends upon how much empathy you have for someone Evolutionary theory People help relatives because it increases chance that helper’s genes will survive in the future

Conflict Conflict- perceived incompatibility of actions, goals or ideas. Can cause a destructive cycle with: Social traps: situations where we pursue our personal interests at the cost of our collective well-being. Distorted perceptions: Mirror-image perceptions- as we see our enemy as untrustworthy and evil intentioned, so they see us. Self-fulfilling prophecy- we can behave towards others in ways that influence them to behave in ways that justify our beliefs about them.

Psychology of Attraction ENVIRONMENT Proximity: geographic nearness is a powerful predictor of friendship Mere-exposure effect: repeated exposure to novel (new) stimuli increases ones liking of that item In other words…the more you are around someone new, the more you grow to like them

Psychology of Attraction Environment con’t the actual circumstances under which people first meet also influence attraction One is more likely to be attracted to a stranger you meet in comfortable rather than uncomfortable physical conditions Attraction is more likely if you associate someone with something pleasant

Psychology of Attraction SIMILARITY: having similar views between individuals causes the bond of attraction to strengthen.

PSYCHOLOGICAL CARD “ATTRACTION” GAME Rules: DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR CARD Put it face out (without looking at it) underneath the band on your forehead Goal is to pair up with someone in the room to make the highest total points with 2 cards. May only say the phrase…”Will you be my partner?” and may only answer “Yes/No” Once you say yes…you must STAY with that partner until I call time, so choose wisely! Once you say yes…again without looking, turn your card over on your forehead. OBJECTIVE 58-3| Define altruism, and give an example.

Psychology of Attraction PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS Is physical attraction REALLY that important? Most experts say yes…especially important in the initial stages of a relationship (it is often what “draws” you to someone) Matching hypothesis: states that people tend to date, marry or form other committed relationships with those who are similar in physical attractiveness Psychologists believe that it may really be more about “compromise” as to why we pair off with someone of equal attractiveness, rather than preference…we are really attracted to those with the MOST physical appeal, but we don’t want to be rejected by these people

Intimate Relationships Passionate Love: An aroused state of intense positive absorption in another usually present at the beginning of a love relationship. Usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship…when you are all consumed with thoughts of that person

Intimate Relationships Compassionate Love: deep, affectionate intimate attachment…marked by mutual concern for the welfare of the other less arousing but psychologically more intimate than passionate love includes items like… Equity – when one receives what s/he gives to the relationship Self-disclosure – reveal intimate details about yourself compassionate love is what is “left” when the passion changes/dissipates

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love