Positive Discipline Techniques Tips and Strategies for Effective Discipline

Discipline VS Punishment Discipline is a set of rules that govern a person's behaviour and conduct. Discipline is the process of shaping and molding a child’s attitudes and behaviours over the years; it focuses on teaching desirable future behaviour. Discipline teaches . . . what to do in the future problem solving appropriate interaction self-discipline Discipline promotes growth, enhances self esteem, and helps children internalize appropriate behaviour. Punishment is defined as imposing external controls by force on children to change their behaviour. Punishment focuses on inflicting suffering for past behaviour. Punishment might involve . . . inflicting pain imposing suffering enforcing unrelated penalties personal or emotional attacks

Discipline VS Punishment Emphasis on . . . stopping misbehaviour learning proper behaviour Child obeys because of . . . fear love and respect Parent’s attitude . . . control and anger love Purpose is . . . suffering and pain self discipline Result is . . . dependency growth

Why do parents use punishment? The misbehaviour often stops immediately. Children often show remorse during punishment. The parent gets to blow off steam. The parent feels in control. The parent hasn't let the children “get away with it”. The parent was raised that way.

Why do children misbehave? attention power revenge inadequacy

Effective Discipline Ignore minor, irritating behaviour. Praise and reward positive behaviour. Be specific with praise. Work with the child to set basic rules. Decide together what consequences will result from breaking the rules. Use consequences consistently and calmly when rules are broken.

General Discipline Techniques Anticipate trouble. Give gentle reminders early. Offer choices. Overlook small annoyances.

Specific Discipline Techniques Fix Up When children cause trouble or hurt another child, expect them to fix it up, or at least try to help. Examples: If they break a toy, ask them to help you fix it. If they make a child cry, have them help with the soothing. If they throw toys around the room, ask them to put them away.

Specific Discipline Techniques Ignore Attention Seeking Behaviour If misbehaviour is aimed at getting your attention, simply ignore it. Be sure to give attention to your children when they behave well; children need attention for good behaviour, not misbehaviour.

Specific Discipline Techniques Be Firm Clearly and firmly state, or even demand, that the child do what needs to be done. Speak in a tone that lets your child know that you mean what you say, and that you expect the child to do as he or she is told. Being firm does NOT mean yelling, nagging, threatening, reasoning, or taking away privileges. Keep suggestions to a minimum, and always speak kindly, even when speaking firmly.

Specific Discipline Techniques Stay in Control and Set Limits Act before the situation gets out of control. Act before you get angry and overly frustrated. Act before the child's behaviour becomes unreasonable.

Specific Discipline Techniques Removal/Separation from Situation When children irritate one another, fight, squabble, hit, or kick, have them rest or play apart for a time. Being apart for a while lets each child calm down. Then, you can use other ways to encourage better behaviour. “Cool off”/Time Out is sometimes appropriate (depends on age and situation).

Specific Discipline Techniques Behaviour Management Talk with children calmly to learn what caused a disagreement. Then talk about ways to deal with it. Come to a solution that's agreeable to both you and the children. This helps children learn to be responsible for their behaviour.

Specific Discipline Techniques Redirection When children get rowdy, stop them, explain why you are stopping them, and suggest another activity. Examples: When they knock over paint, give them a cloth and a pail of water to clean up the mess. When they race dangerously indoors, if possible, take them outside for a game of chase. When they throw books at each other, gather them for a story time, or organize a beanbag toss.

Specific Discipline Techniques Praise Give more attention and praise for good behaviour, and less for naughty behaviour. Don't make punishment a reward. Let the child know that you appreciate a good attitude and cooperation. Children respond positively to genuine respect and praise.

Specific Discipline Techniques Natural Consequences Natural consequences are the direct result of a child's behaviour. The parent does not have to take action UNLESS the consequence is dangerous (eg., ignoring instructions not to touch a hot stove). Examples: Child does not get ready in time for hockey, despite reminders. Natural consequence = child misses hockey. Child refuses to eat dinner. Natural consequence = child misses the meal.

Specific Discipline Techniques Logical Consequences Used when the natural consequence is dangerous (eg., running into the street; natural consequence = getting hit by a car. Not OK) or ineffective. Arranged by the parent; should be related to the undesirable behaviour. Examples: Teen borrows car and does not bring it home in time for you to get to work. Logical consequence = teen loses privilege to use car for some time.

Ages and Stages of Children Knowing the Ages and Stages of your children helps you to understand their developmental pace, and what they are able to accomplish at each stage. Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development is one example of the Ages and Stages of children. Don’t expect too much from your child too soon; this will lead to frustration and unfulfilled expectations. Example: don’t expect your three year old to be able to tie his or her shoes without any help. Provide safe, age-appropriate ways for your child to fulfill behavioural expectations in order to help them prepare to move onto the next stage.