IR Essay: What to Change for Next Time 7th Grade

You were too “thesaurus happy” Be careful: when you try to find synonyms for words, make sure your sentence still makes sense Trying to sound “smarter” can often backfire on you

Repeating ideas Just because you say something over and over again, does not make the idea any better It also does not make your essay LONGER

Missing a Direct Quote In your IR Essay Format packet, it told you that in PARAGRAPH 4, you needed to include a direct quote to support your connection

You did not restate your thesis Original thesis: “In the novel, Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, the main conflict is Katniss’ struggle to decide if and when she should kill Peeta, this connects to a personal experience in my life, because recently I had to make a difficult choice to reprimand my daughter for staying out past curfew.” Restated thesis: “Katniss finally realized that she could never kill Peeta. My daughter and I continue to trust each other and communicate even better than before.”

Book titles are always underlined It should look like this: In the novel, The Hunger Games, by… NOT like this: In the novel, “The Hunger Games”, by… In the novel, The Hunger Games, by…

Indenting Paragraphs You MUST indent every new paragraph If you have 5 paragraphs, you must have 5 indentions

Indented vs. Not-indented

Be more specific This means you did not add enough DETAILS or EXAMPLES to this paragraph

Circled Words This could mean any of the following: Misspelled word Confusing word/ did not make sense Empty word Contraction (can’t= cannot, don’t= do not) You wrote a number (7= seven, 10= ten)

Thesis length Your thesis will ALWAYS be one sentence

Thoughtful closing sentence Your essay should not just end, it has to have a thoughtful closing statement Non-thoughtful closing: “And I think we can agree that this was awesome.” Thoughtful closing: “True heroes do not always wear capes.”