You Have A Draft, Now What? Show of hands, how many students have written the first draft of their personal statement? Unless you’re a grade A writer, your first draft will be messy. Your first draft gets your ideas, tone, and topics down on paper. This process is exhausting but it’s exciting to have a product that you’re proud of at the end of the day. By: Yanadira Mendez- Magana ymagana@uplifteducation.org (817)996-0732 You Have A Draft, Now What?

Hopefully, by the end of this, you will feel less like this and more like ….

Swinging bats and taking names We want you to feel confident that you can take on the task

Think Paragraph by Paragraph Big Steps Think Big Picture 1 Think Paragraph by Paragraph 2 Think Monologue 3 Think Viewers 4

Best Practices DO’s DO NOTS Creatively Brainstorm Procrastinate Be Patient Compare Yourself Step Away Focus on the Negatives Have Three Extra Set of Eyes Ask for Help Empty Handed Be Open to Critiques If you’ve written a draft and you don’t feel satisfied with it, ask yourself why Ways to get more creative juices flowing: Video Record yourself telling the story you’re trying to convey in your personal statement Write a poem, Draw a picture 2. You will most likely go through 10 drafts of your essay, be patient, that’s normal 3. If you have been staring at your screen for longer than an hour and nothing has come to you, take a break. Step away from it for a day. If you get ideas in the middle of the day, write them down in the notes app of your phone! 4. When your paper is finally ready to be proof-read and edited by someone else, have 3 people in mind! 1. Don’t worry about everyone else is and what they’re writing. That’s their story and this will be your truth. 2. Editing essays can really bog you down because it focuses on all the room for improvements, don’t let it get you down! One strategy that you can do to combat this is the two color pen approach. Print out a copy of your paper, use one pen to circle all the sentences or places that need editing and use another colored pen to circle all of the sentences you think are great! This will help give you a sense of tone you want for your essay and it will also help your editors understand what you want to convey. 3. EDIT YOUR ESSAY BEFORE ASKING SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. You should revisit your essay 3 times before someone else looks at it. If you want a teacher to put in the time and effort to help you, you should be able to do the same for yourself. Also think about your counselors work load, they will be helping dozens of students. Help them help you more efficiently by cutting into the editing yourself.

Think Big Picture Most Common Approaches Take a look at the prompt Does your personal statement capture your purpose? To stay on topic, ask: Does the organization make sense? Is there a clear beginning middle and end? Are they connected? Most common approaches People that don’t have a focus and end up with an essay that talks about a million things. *Big Picture helps smooth this process People that have this big idea and don’t know how to put the pieces together *Paragraph by Paragraph will be most helpful Sometimes there are people that are just lost as to what to talk about Take a look at the prompt If not, challenge yourself to answer the prompt in one-two sentences. If you can do that, then you can have a beautiful big picture for your personal statement. These one-two sentences will anchor your essay, everything in your essay should be relevant to this 3. When referring to beginning middle and end, we’re not referring to architecture of writing, you want your writing to come full circle.

Think Paragraph by Paragraph Ask yourself, what is my style? Ex: Funny, Metaphorical, Anecdotal Paragraph topic sentences Have I included examples or supporting details? Paragraph Transitions Big Picture Folk, this where the nitty gritty comes in, PARAGRAPHS. What is the tone you’re going for, this will help you understand your style of writing. Paragraph topic sentences Just like you should have anchor 2 sentences for your overall essay, you should be able to identify one sentence that can summarize your paragraph and why it’s important to your story = this is topic sentence Look: Does each paragraph have a topic sentence? Go ahead and highlight it. 2. If you don’t have a topic sentence think of an example that supports your anchor. 1. This can be an anecdote. 1. This can discuss growth or lessons learned 3. Do I have good transitions between paragraphs? 1. This can make or break flow!

Stylistic Tools Avoid high level formalities Ex: “It is with great pride and deep respect that I hereby do apply for the honor of the Rhodes Scholarship. Herewith, you will find my complete application materials” Take advantage of informality Remember your audience Use narrative and anecdotes Do: “Some protestors around me carried large flashlights; I clutched a bullhorn.” Don’t: “The pain was searing and hot as I burst into a fit of agony after witnessing what was written on the board.” Avoid Formalities Use Effective Jargon Do change your word choice so you don’t use the same word 7 times. Don’t use words you wouldn’t normally use from thesaurus Reps will be able to tell the difference. Can be effective if you use it properly Pro’s of Informality Clear narratives Involve yourself as a character in action Provide contrast for denser material Use narratives and Anecdotes It informs the reader They underscore your passion for a cause or a field Be sure they are relevant and revealing Don’t bleed your heart over your page Make sure they’re meaningful

Think Monologue Now that you know what you want your big picture to be and you’ve gone paragraph by paragraph, it’s time to think of it as a monologue that you are sharing in person with your reader. Who knows what a monologue is? A monologue is a long speech by one actor in a play or movie that tells a story I want to share this short monologue from Grey’s Anatomy character Arizona Robbins: click on screen to open link What were some things that you all noticed from this monologue? Yes, it ties together family history with self discovery and identity

Think Monologue Does my introduction grab the readers attention? Read through your personal statement out loud Catch overused words Grammar and spelling mistakes Avoid “That” This is your chance to set yourself apart Think of your introduction as the trailer to a movie. You know that if the trailer doesn’t grab your attention, you’re not going to go watch it. Read start to finish Record yourself and play it back Avoid “That” “I think that…” “I know that” “I heard that” 9/10 times you can erase the “that”

Continued… Have I organized my ideas in a way that makes sense? Create a checklist Problem in my story Solution to my problem Setting for my story Am I proud of this story What will I bring to the table If you’re stuck, take a highlighter and highlight sentences you find important in your essay. Highlighter Don’t go highlighter happy This will help you get focused on the big point that you want to tell You should be able to explain why these sentences are important to your editor

Think Viewers Be authentic Show diversity Who will edit your essay? Choose someone you trust Be willing to accept feedback Authentic- don’t worry about what you think everyone else wants to hear, it’s about they story you want to tell Diversity- they want to see how you’re different from all other applicants, tell things that have helped you grow as a person and have built your character Someone you trust It’s scary to share your work in progress with people so choose someone you trust Be willing to accept feedback Understand that the person you trust might also be looking at 70 other essays, so understand that if they refer you to someone, it’s someone they trust to guide you. Help them help you by making sure you have edited your essay a few times before having them set their eyes on it

Sources https://www.e-education.psu.edu/writingpersonalstatementsonline/p3_p2.html http://college.usatoday.com/2012/01/09/six-tips-for-writing-great-personal-statements/ https://www.oxford-royale.co.uk/articles/analysis-personal-statement.html