Get the creative ideas flowing – 5 mins. 1. The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel. 2. Screaming came across the sky. 3. It was the day my grandmother exploded. 4. Shadows quivered on the wall as the candle flickered, then fizzled to nothing. 5. She ducked as the plate smashed against the wall behind her. 6. My hand trembled as I punched the number into the phone. 7. The prickles on his neck told him he was being watched.

Show, Don’t Tell

Show, don’t tell! Example: David was really angry. One way of making your writing more interesting is to SHOW rather than TELL. Example: David was really angry. David stomped to his desk spilling coffee as he went. Pushing past a group of people, he threw himself into his chair. With one sweep of his hand, he cleared his desk and growled at the nearest secretary. TASK – Re-write the statements below so that you are showing, not telling, the reader how these characters are feeling. She was frightened. He was unhappy. REMEMBER TO USE: Interesting verbs - 'doing' words or 'being' words. E.g. 'walk', ‘feel’ Adverbs and Adjectives – words that add information. Describe what they are doing and how they are doing it.

BORING A ‘Tell’ Version Jessica is a student at school who is always late. She has is short and has black hair. She is very shy and she is sometimes made fun of by other students. The teacher makes her feel embarrassed when she is late and she doesn’t like it.

What do we think about DI James based on the description of his entrance? The doors swung open. Detective Inspector James limped into the room, his wide shoulders barely fitting through the doorway. As his giant fist slammed onto the table before him, he growled for silence. The entire room froze. There wasn’t an officer in there who would dare disobey the grizzled old veteran. As his dark brown eyes surveyed the scene before him, his lips curled up into a malicious sneer. “Dobson!” He barked. “Come with me!” A silent look of relief crossed the face of every other policeman in the room. As the doors closed behind them, all that could be heard from the corridor was the scared shuffling of young Dobson’s feet and the familiar tapping of DI James’ metal cane.

How would they react to different things? Writing about the Windsinger. Pick a character from the Windsinger and think about what makes them individual…. Personality Traits Kestrel Bowman Mumpo Maslo Inch The Emperor Dr. Batch Hanno Hath How would they talk? What would they say? How would they react to different things? How would they walk? What do they look like?

TASK: Write a paragraph introducing your character TASK: Write a paragraph introducing your character. You decide on what your character should be doing (walking in a classroom, running from people chasing them, eating dinner with family, etc.) Your descriptions should give the reader a clear idea of what your character is like. Remember to show not tell. Avoid using sentences such as: He was… He had… Using the right verbs (doing words) is key! Your character doesn’t walk, he strides/shuffles/limps/skips/etc. Your character doesn’t talk, he growls/bellows/whispers/stammers/etc. There are thesauruses if you want them.

Peer assessment Swap books with your partner and read their paragraph. What can you tell about their character? Different verbs Different adverbs Did they show NOT tell?