Dealing with the Angry, Emotional, and/or Disrespectful You must work in Higher Ed! David Steward Director of Student Conduct and Community Standards CARE Team Member University of Colorado Denver

This is me! Words which describe me. K-12 Educator. Educator. Mindful. Teacher/Coach. High School Assistant Principal. Middle School Principal. District Coordinator. Retired. Student Affairs Practitioner. Words which describe me. Educator. Mindful. Listener. Learner.

Angry/Emotional/Disrespectful vs. Dangerous & Potentially Violent Context Angry/Emotional/Disrespectful vs. Dangerous & Potentially Violent The only way to differentiate the two is to talk to the student and investigate the context in which the behavior is occurring. ~ National Behavior Intervention Team Association (Not your task!)

Have you ever heard that before? That’s not fair! Have you ever heard that before? What does it mean?

What does it mean? It’s not equal – Fair does not always mean equal. I don’t like your response – You don’t always get what you want. That’s not what I am used to – …and how well has that been working. These are good thoughts but not the main reason students say it.

Most of the time it means… Nobody is listening to me!

Prior – Be Ready Have a Plan. Process every event as an office. Office discussions and training. If this……………. Then this………… Deal with the issue not the behavior. Report the behavior. Process every event as an office. Polish plan.

Early On – Position Know and communicate your role Problem Communicator Problem Solver Decision Maker Supporting Others Bystander *

During – Explore Calm! Listen. Be Impartial. Take Notes With empathy. Paraphrase. Clarify with questions. Be Impartial. There is no right or wrong – Only the facts. Seek to understand. Take Notes

You do not have to make a decision immediately. During – Be Mindful Don’t let it be personal. Are all safe? If not determine what needs to happen. Insist on civility. Do you have all the facts you can get? Ask if they have any questions, and then answer them all. Ask one last question. What do I need to know that I have not asked yet? You do not have to make a decision immediately.

After – Document ASAP Document incidents which are off the norm. Immediately after can be too late. Write a well-constructed and factual report. Forward to appropriate place. If you don’t know ask. Police. BIT Team. Student Conduct. Supervisor.

After – Debrief How are you doing? Talk to the person you need to. Co-worker. Supervisor. Counselor. Mentor. Etc.

After – No End in Sight Dealt with – Move on! Who can help? Communicate next steps. And what steps are not available anymore. Who can help? Supervisor. Police. Student Conduct. BIT Team.

Questions? David Steward Director, Student Conduct and Community Standards david.steward@ucdenver.edu 303-556-3682