Using Positive Guidance with Children “Don’t do that!” "Can't you see I'm trying to ...?" “You’re being a brat.” "That's enough - I've had it!" Do any of these sound familiar? Guiding children to behave in appropriate and acceptable ways is challenging for many adults. There are no quick, easy answers because every child is unique. Differing temperaments, personalities, needs, growth patterns, home environment, and family settings affect children's lives. The following five points can help you positively guide young children.

Positive Guidance Techniques in the Classroom…and in life!

What is Guidance? Guidance – “direct and indirect actions used by an adult to help children develop appropriate behavior patterns.” Direct: eye contact physical touch as reminder verbal commands sitting next to a child Indirect: Room organization teacher supervision placement names on cubbies timing of activities

Specific Techniques to Use…

1. PROMOTE POSITIVE BEHAVIOR Both parents and caregivers who use positive reinforcement find it a "self-fulfilling prophecy." Children become what we expect of them. * Be very specific about the compliments and praise you give. This lets the child know exactly what behavior, actions, and words you liked. For example, "I really appreciate how well you listened to the directions for this activity. It helped things to run smoothly." * Caregivers can build a child's self-esteem in many other small ways. Praise a child within the earshot of others. Give a child your undivided attention. For those children who seem to get your attention for their misbehavior only, try shifting the focus of your attention. Give that child at least as much attention for his or her positive behavior as for misbehavior.

2. EXPECT CHILDREN TO OBEY * Be very clear about rules and expectations. Give children an option if possible, unless there is a question of personal safety or health, when there is destruction or aggression involved, or when, you as the adult, decide the situation calls for prompt action.   * Demonstrate your confidence by using short, clear, positive statements. Use a tone that says you expect compliance. “ Tony is using the truck right now, so would you like to use the airplane or the car?” “Ice cream is not an option, so you can choose cheese and raisins, or yogurt.” “It is cleanup time right now. That means we all do our share to help clean up.”

3. MAINTAIN FAIRNESS AND CONSISTENCY * Deal with challenges in a matter-of-fact, calm manner. Consider the child's age and "normal" behavior for this age range. For example, it is unrealistic to expect a child who is 18-months-old to do much sharing, since toddlers, by their nature, are very self-centered.   * Communicate rules and their consequences in words that children understand. When a child breaks a rule, follow through with a fair, appropriate, and meaningful consequence right away. When you are fair and consistent in your response to misbehavior, the child's sense of security and knowledge of right from wrong will be reinforced.

4. ALLOW THE EXPRESSION OF FEELINGS * Allowing a child to express his or her feelings does not mean allowing such inappropriate expressions as hitting or hurting others. Sometimes, providing quiet time along with a favorite toy or blanket will help a child to relax and calm down.   * Some children express anger, resentment, and frustration by pounding with a hammer on a pegboard, punching an old pillow, kicking a soccer ball in the backyard, creating a picture, or using self-talk with their stuffed animals. Offer to take a walk with the child or to read a story together. These activities may help diffuse strong feelings of anger or frustration. * It is important to provide a range of acceptable avenues for children to release these very strong, yet natural emotions.

5. THINK AND PLAN FOR THE FUTURE * Look past today's difficult moments. Remember that your goal is for the child to achieve self-discipline.   * When problems do arise, step back from the scene if you can. Count to ten, or do whatever helps you maintain your composure and your perspective. Keep in mind the example you set through your own behavior. * The way in which adults treat children and each other serves as a model for children. For example, the use of phrases like, "Thank you," "Please," or "Can I help you?" should be a part of everyone's routine behavior.

Steps in Problem-Solving… 1.     Have children identify the problem and feelings 2.     Re-state the problem 3.     Ask each child for ideas for solutions 4.     Negotiate until children can agree upon some sort of compromise 5. Reinforce

Guiding Play Teachers are important partners in play. Be able to recognize the 3 levels of play, and act accordingly: Chaotic or out-of-control play - teacher steps in and re-directs. Simplistic and repetitive play - teacher provides new ideas and/or materials. Purposeful, complex play that engages the children’s full potential – teacher observes, does not interfere unless sees an opportunity or a need.

A teacher’s personality will affect the behavior of the children in your care. Effective teachers encourage and show interest in children, and use more suggestions than commands. ∙ Uncooperative teachers lead to hyperactive, bored, disruptive students. ∙ Permissive teachers lead to aggressive and attention-seeking behaviors. Children see the teacher’s lack of involvement as permission to engage in such behavior.

Do NOT’S… It is important that as TEACHERS, we do not… Tell a child that what they did was wrong (focus on the action we need from them) Wrestle or horse play Pick children up, carry children Grab items from them in an effort to stop them Use negative or foul language Call children names, like “brat,” “naughty,” or “stupid.” Model any of the above with our peers Do anything that could put a child’s physical or emotional safety in jeopardy Play with peers, but with kids!

You Are Important….Never Forget Your Role! “I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.   In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.” - Haim Ginott

Remember… This is a JOB, with REAL people, real families, real children. Any behaviors that Mrs. Anne or I deem to be unsafe or harmful to children will be dealt with swiftly.

Your Assignment: 1. Complete the Positive Guidance practice sheet. Begin with the back side, so that you can use the handout provided in class. Then complete the front side using what we learned in class, and additional tips from the handout. Please complete as homework if you do not finish in class. Do not turn this in today, as we will review these techniques at the start of next class.

Postive Guidance Reminders Choose one of the items in the provided packet to create a reminder to post on our cupboards. For this, you will: Fold a piece of white construction paper hot dog style. Write the technique large, bold and colorful on the front of the folded paper. Write the definition and, if provided, an example of the technique on the INSIDE of the reminder card.