Let Her Finish: Supporting Women’s Voice in IT Rie Irish Director of Database Management

Rie Irish @IrishSQL www.riepedia.net Director of Database Administration with Paymetric, Inc. in Roswell, GA.  A single mom & lives with her teenage daughter just outside Atlanta, GA.  A SQL Server DBA for 20 years in various industries: financial, pharmaceutical, eDiscovery, online commerce, government contracting and non-profits.  Helps run SQL Saturday Atlanta each year & is actively involved with the Atlanta MDF User Group.  Facilitates WIT Panels & speaks at tech events on a variety of topics from encouraging young women to get involved in tech to helping women deal with interruptions in the boardroom. Group Co-Leader , SQL PASS Women in Technology VC 

Rie Irish RieIrish@gmail.com http://www.riepedia.net/ @IrishSQL @PASS_WIT https://www.linkedin.com/in/rie-irish-07834a2/

Encourage. Energize. Empower. There is no tool for development more effective than the empowerment of women.  – Kofi Annan Find a mentor.  Be a mentor. Build a strong network of women. Make friendships with other women working in your field.  

Girl, Interrupted Next time you attend a meeting, watch what happens when a woman in the meeting offers her ideas. If your office is like most, you’ll notice that women are interrupted much more frequently than men. Some interruptions are intended to be helpful & offer support. Other times, they’re to assert dominance. Regardless of the intent, the result is the same. Women are being left out of the conversation.

Speaking while female Study in 2015 found that men not only interrupted twice as often as women, they were 3 times as likely to interrupt a woman. Women almost never interrupt men. Australian study findings include: women don’t speak as much without interruption as men. 311 interruptions questioned a speaker's authority and credibility, 213 were directed towards women. female witnesses were called emotional, unreasonable or words to similar effect 163 times, and 120 of these comments were made by men.   women were more likely to be punished for their interruptions, than their male peers, by the chair during public hearings.

Even when she’s a professional equal SXSW Gender & Diversity Panel – Google Exec Chair Schmidt repeatedly interrupted U.S. Chief Technology Officer Megan Smith, the sole female panelist on stage with him during the talk. Then, he was reprimanded by an audience member, Judith Williams, who also happened to be Google’s global diversity manager. Even to women on the Supreme court - Men on the court spent a lot of time interrupting the two youngest female justices, Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor. Sotomayor was interrupted 57 times during arguments, while Kagan got cut off 50 times.  Breyer, Roberts, Kennedy & Alito are interrupted at half that rate.

Nevertheless, She Persisted Most recently, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Massachusetts) was officially silenced while reading a letter on the senate floor.  The letter, authored by Coretta Scott King, was read into the Congressional record in 1986 by Ted Kennedy (D-MA).  The 30 year old letter directly addressed the topic at hand, the ability of Jeff Sessions (R-AL) to support the civil rights of all Americans.  Think it’s an example of politics and not sexism? Tom Udall Jeff Merkley Sherrod Brown Bernie Sanders

The Gender Disparity Gap Is Real The Feminized Society Myth Men perceive 50-50 gender parity if there are 17% women in media (movies, tv, news, etc.). At 33% women, men perceive more women than men. One study found that women had to make up 60-80% of attendees to occupy equal time in conversation. 80% of women in business thing gender parity is important compared to only 48% men.

Why is this a problem? Male executives who speak more often than their peers are rewarded with 10% higher ratings of competence. When female executives speak more than their peers, they’re punished them with 14 percent lower ratings. In 2015, a University of Texas study showed that when a woman challenged an existing process & suggested a new one, she was considered to be disloyal. Even when they were told she possessed unique knowledge on the topic, her ideas were discounted. The same did not apply for men. When women’s voices aren’t heard, they aren’t assigned “stretch projects” that get them noticed, get them promoted and get them assigned to the next big thing. In short, guys get to work on the cool stuff.

Let’s Solve the Problem

A No Interruption Policy YEARS ago, while producing the hit TV series “The Shield,” Glen Mazzara noticed that two young female writers were quiet during story meetings. He pulled them aside and encouraged them to speak up more. Watch what happens when we do, they replied. Almost every time they started to speak, they were interrupted or shot down before finishing their pitch. When one had a good idea, a male writer would jump in and run with it before she could complete her thought. He found a clever way to change the dynamics that were holding those two female employees back. He announced to the writers that he was instituting a no-interruption rule while anyone — male or female — was pitching. It worked, and he later observed that it made the entire team more effective.

A seat at the table Women working for the Obama White House complained they weren’t being let into important meetings. When they were, they were ignored. Once they had a seat at the table, they brought more women into the discussion. Female staffers adopted a meeting strategy they called “amplification”: When a woman made a key point, other women would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This forced the men in the room to recognize the contribution — and denied them the chance to claim the idea as their own.

Dealing with the Interruption Let it go, but follow up with a question instead of disengaging. One way to address the behavior, a bit indirectly, is to simply let the person interrupt, then repeat again exactly what you started saying, in a polite, respectful tone.  Add in a hand gesture at the same time. The idea is to every so slightly raise your fingers with your palm facing slightly above parallel to the ground.   Lightly touch the interrupter & say that you’d like to finish. Just keep talking.

10 words every woman should learn “I just said that.” “Stop Interrupting me,” “I’m not finished.”

“Stop interrupting me.” But we can’t do it alone, we need allies. 10 words every man should learn. “She just said that.” “Stop interrupting me.” “She’s not finished

The way women communicate Undermining Words – Sorry & Just. Stop apologizing. Upspeak - a rising intonation at the end of a sentence Vocal Fry - an unnaturally low, creaky voice

Sorry, not sorry

So why are we always apologizing? One theory hold that being perceived as rude is so abhorrent to women that we need to make ourselves less obtrusive before we speak up. According to a study published in 2010 in the Psychological Science journal, “women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior.” As a result, we are more likely to see a need for an apology in everyday situations. Where did we learn this behavior? Blame your Mom. It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem. It’s what we’re NOT saying. Interrupt. Voice your opinion.

1 2 3 4 Why does it matter? Because not having your voice heard sucks. Women aren’t entering tech because of biases & inequality. 3 They’re leaving tech because it’s NOT AWESOME. 4 A more diverse team produces a better result. Every time.

It’s not JUST a pipeline issue Not anymore, women leave tech at twice the rate as men (41% vs 17%) High School boys & girls participate in STEM at about the same rate, many elite colleges report 50% of Intro to Computer Science classes are women. Yet men are employed in STEM occupations at twice the rate as women. At larger tech companies, men outnumber women 4 to 1 Women in Tech: 27% reported feeling stalled (48% of AA women) and 32% reported they are likely to quit within the next year

Why Women Leave Tech

You only have to glance at Twitter to answer that question Google Manifesto Uber Harassment Switched signatures YouTube CEO, Susan Wojcicki

Why Women Leave Tech Lack of helpful mentorship: When women received mentorship, it’s advice on how to they should change. With men, it’s concrete steps for career moves. Organizational Climate: Women often describe feeling like an outsider in what they describe as mildly discriminatory environment. It’s that “Brogrammer” culture. Unclear Evaluation Criteria: Women are frequently given vague, unactionable feedback. Men with a highly visible leadership style are described positively, while women are described as “abrasive” or “running over people”

Company & HR policies that make it harder for women to stay employed: lack of or short maternity leave, wage gap & lack of flexibility Not having their voices heard. Women cite a lack of visibility on “stretch assignments”, having to prove themselves over & over, lack of advancement opportunities and having their ideas appropriated by men. Untrained Managers: technical women often rank their managers lowest on communication skills, receptiveness to ideas, availability & feedback compared to technical men.

Solutions that reverse women leaving tech Make sure men and women with equivalent credentials start out at equal levels and the rate is competitive with the industry. Engage and empower senior male &female executives to SPONSOR up & coming women. Sponsorship is more than advice. This involves using influence with Sr Exec to get ideas heard. With a sponsor, women are 70% more likely to see their ideas implemented. Make performance standards crystal clear with granular detail & actionable advice focused on performance instead of vague advice Train managers on providing actionable feedback performance reviews and then hold them accountable. Institute HR policies that don’t penalize women & encourage flexibility

Quotes that make me happy The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud. -- Coco Chanel Women have to be active listeners and interrupters - but when you interrupt, you have to know what you are talking about. – Madeleine Albright It takes years for a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for. - Amy Poehler Oh I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? She needed a hero. So that’s what she became.

References http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/speaking-while-female.html?_r=0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9soYj3O4Ud8 http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/03/19/google-chief-blasted-for-repeatedly-interrupting-female-government-official/ http://www.womensagenda.com.au/talking-about/editors-agenda/item/7525-men-interrupting-women http://www.nextions.com/wp-content/files_mf/142850844520150415ManterruptionsBropropriationandMansplaining2YPS.pdf Studies by Geena Davis Institute for Gender In Media http://www.bain.de/publikationen/articles/great-disappearing-act-gender-parity-up-the-corporate-ladder.aspx