Crossing the line

Crossing the line… Means “going too far” or “breaking social rules.” It is an idiom! We should not cross the line because it is socially inappropriate to do so. It can make others feel offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable. This can happen because of our choices with our words and bodies (what we say and how we interact with people).

Examples! We know it is crossing the line if a reasonable person could feel offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable as a result. Discuss: Who are they making fun of? Does this cross the line? (Old people, people who get tattoos…and no, this does not cross the line. This is gentle humor that doesn’t really hurt anyone’s feelings and shouldn’t make a reasonable person upset.) Humor often relies on getting closer to the line. It “pokes fun” or finds jokes in the flaws/special characteristics of people. It is easy to cross the line with humor because

Examples! We know it is crossing the line if a reasonable person could feel offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable as a result. One day, a group of friends was playing “Phase 10.” After each round, Mike would throw down his cards and make an angry noise. It was clearly a joke and everyone laughed. Chris said “If you do that again, I’ll jump across this table and smack you.” This was also clearly a joke and everyone laughed. After the next round, Mike threw down his cards (again!). Chris jumped across the table and smacked Mike. This made Mike mad. The next round, he threw all the cards onto the floor. The friends stopped playing Phase 10. Discuss: At what point was the line crossed? (When Mike smacked Chris and when Mike threw all the cards) Who crossed the line? (Chris and Mike) What would have been a good way to avoid crossing the line? (Mike could have noticed that Chris was getting irritated and stopped throwing cards. Chris should have not been violent. Mike could have asked for a break or said he didn’t want to play anymore if he felt like he was going to throw all the cards) The people in this story are good friends. When we are with good friends and family, is the “line” different than when we are with classmates/ acquaintances? (Yes! We can “go further” with friends and family, because they are more likely to understand our intentions with our humor. They are also more likely to forgive us if we do offend them. We should be more careful with others. With classmates or acquaintances, Chris should not have made the joking threat to smack Mike. Depending on the group, if they had recently met, Mike shouldn’t have thrown down cards the first time.)

Examples! We know it is crossing the line if a reasonable person could feel offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable as a result. A new teacher to Spectrum had an epic beard. Then, he shaved it. He looked better with the beard. Kiki reacted by saying “Whoa! That’s a big change!” Fiona reacted by saying “You look like a perverted Caillou.” Georgie reacted by saying “You look super ugly now.” Phil didn’t say anything at all. Discuss: If the teacher is reasonable, how might he have felt based on each person’s statements? (Kiki- normal- that’s expected. Fiona- Upset, angry, embarrassed. Her statement was mean and inappropriate. Georgie- hurt, sad, embarrassed. Insulting people crosses the line. Phil- normal- it’s ok not to mention changes, especially when you can’t think of something positive and appropriate to say.) Which student(s) crossed the line? (Fiona and Georgie)

Examples! We know it is crossing the line if a reasonable person could feel offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable as a result. A lady is in the store and she is clearly very pregnant. Some strangers approach… Ricky comes up and tells her she is glowing. Genevieve comes up and says “Wow! You are huge! Are you having triplets?!” Peter comes up and touches her belly without asking. Ashley says “Are you sure you want to buy that ice cream? That’s bad for your baby.” Discuss: In which of these situations would the lady feel offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable? (Ricky- he’s mostly appropriate He did not cross the line; Genevieve- The lady would feel hurt, offended, angry, or embarrassed; Peter- The lady would feel uncomfortable or angry for being touched by a stranger; Ashley- The lady would feel offended, hurt, or embarrassed because a stranger judged her choices.)

Clues: you May have crossed the line if: Someone told you many times that you shouldn’t do something– but you did it anyway. Someone’s face, body language, or words show that they are offended, hurt, embarrassed, angry, or uncomfortable as a result. Look for clues in those around you: Frowning Crying Moving away from you Looking shocked/surprised Closed-up body language Quickly changing the subject

Crossing the Line-Practice and ISN See lesson plan for details!