Facilitated by KEYS Academy and Options High School with the ARISE Foundation

Your Presenter… A member of the faculty of KEYS Academy and Options High School Internationally Certified in Life Skills through the ARISE Foundation

Frame We will discuss what skills can be used to avoid fights. EQ: How can fights be avoided? I will learn how to solve problems before they lead to violence.

Rules for Training Participation is crucial No wrong/stupid answers Confronting someone Avoid conflict Good decision making Do not counter attack

Why we’re here… Because we have to be … To learn some skills that will carry over into adulthood To learn more about ourselves

How we’re going to do it… Discussion Everyone participates Some, very little lecture Activity or activities Some Conclusions

Definition of an ice breaker: What is an ice breaker? Definition of an ice breaker: An activity used to lighten the mood and or get participants warmed up to the idea of interaction

Topic of the Day – Avoiding Fights Is it okay to disagree with others? Why or Why not? What feelings do you experience when you disagree with others? Can the way you react to those feelings have an effect on escalating or de-escalating conflict? Explain.

Topic of the Day – Avoiding Fights What are some of the things you’re taught to respect from an early age? What are some of the things you learn to respect as you get older? How do others show you respect now? What are some of the ways you show respect to others?

Tips for managing and resolving fights: Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and  assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here ­and now to solve the problem. Pick your battles: Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue  is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space  if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single  space isn’t worth it. Be willing to forgive: Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to  forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives. Know when to let something go: If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It  takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose  to disengage and move on

Activity: How can we resolve the following conflicts and still demonstrate our consideration and respect for the other person as well? Scenario 1: James and David are going to lunch. The cafeteria is very crowded and each wants to save a seat for a friend. Both students arrive at the same time and choose a space with three vacant seats. James sits at one end and David sits at the other. Both of them want to save the middle seat for their friend. How could they work this out? Scenario 2: Sara wants to chat with her friends on the Internet every day when she gets home from school. Her parents insist that she complete her homework before going online or watching television. She feels that since she is a good student that she should be able to do homework on her own time schedule right after dinner. What kind of dialog should she have with her parents?

Activity: Avoiding Fights Read… (slide 16) Situations of Conflict Complete… (slides 17-18) Possible Daily Conflicts activity Conflict comic strip

Conclusions: Avoiding Fights Disagreement is a normal part of life. We all have occasional clashes, even with people we love. But we shouldn't let little conflicts turn into big fights, especially violent ones. Here are some rules for keeping conflicts from getting out of control. Tell the other person what's bothering you - but do it nicely. Don't let your emotions take control. Listen to the other person. Try to understand how the other person is feeling. No name-calling or insults. No hitting. Don't yell or raise your voice. Look for a compromise. And, if all else fails, ask somebody else to help!