Masterful Communications For Career & Life Success! Lynn Thier Peak Performance Academy

The Learning State Peripheral Vision Foveal

Results Cause > Effect Reasons Effect vs. = Empowerment Which Side Are You On?

Cause & Effect A cause – causes a certain affect IF you’re on the effect side – you’ll have lots of reasons or excuses why you didn’t get the results you wanted. When we come over to the cause side we create empowerment and results

I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything! Cause & Effect

Which side of the equation are you on? Cause & Effect The sum total of all of your choices, both conscious and unconscious have lead you to where you are today Which side of the equation are you on?

WHY is communication important?

What is Communication?

NLP Communication Model NLP began as a model of how we communicate and interact with ourselves and others. The NLP communication model explains how we process the information that comes in from outside us and what we do with it inside our heads.

NLP Model of Communication Events Winning Lottery The First Kiss 9/11 Attacks Internal Representation 126bps,7+-2 VAKOG 11 Million BPS DO the process of Delete Distort Generalize State Physiology Behavior Investing Money Dancing Bonding

NLP Communication Model What’s important about this communication model, for our purposes, is that the internal representation inside your head determines how you communicate (send/receive messages) AND determines the results that you will produce in your behavior & therefore your results.

Notice… Some people have to SEE certain things or relationships, where others need to have it EXPLAINED so they can HEAR it… Still others have to get a GRASP or a FEELING for certain things or relationships This in essence is the communication model

NLP Coaching | NLP Practitioner Training Peak Performance Academy WHAT is NLP? NLP Coaching | NLP Practitioner Training Presented by Lynn Thier

What is NLP? – The study of your mind Not a “Do To”, but a “Do With” process Is like having the owner’s manual to your brain! It’s for people who like to think for themselves. NLP assumes there is a link between neurological processes, language and behavior.  NLP is a collection of practical techniques, skills and strategies that can be used to create success

13 Presuppositions of NLP The Map is not the Territory People have all the resources they need to succeed and achieve their desired outcome, there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states The meaning of communication is the response you get There is no failure, only feedback and learning You are in charge of your mind and therefore your results and I am in charge of my mind and therefore my results

The map is not the territory Is the idea that the way we see the world isn’t reality itself. We don’t respond to reality. We respond to our internalized map of reality. How we represent things are our interpretations. Interpretations may or may not be accurate.

People have all the resources they need to succeed and achieve their desired outcome, there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states Everything a person needs to effect a positive change is already in them. They may, however, not be consciously aware of it. Often people have resources that they haven’t considered or are available in other contexts. Resources mean the internal responses and external behaviours needed to get desired results. Our most basic resource is our ability to learn. we can run our own mind and therefore move toward getting the results that we want. The key to achieving this is through knowing how to change your state, as specific resources are accessed only through being in the appropriate state.

The meaning of communication is the response you get Your intended communication is not always what is perceived. You cannot not communicate. We are always communicating either verbally or non-verbally. Even the absence of a response is information. Which is more important: What you intend to communicate, or what you actually communicate? Flexible communicators change what they’re saying (and how they’re saying it, as well as their body language) until their desired results are obtained.

There is no failure, only feedback and learning

You are in charge of your mind and therefore your results Your current results are due to you and the decisions you have made in response to life’s “stuff” You and your unconscious mind have made a lot of decisions through the years, many of them before the age of 7. It is these decisions that produce your current results. The good news is that now you can use that same mind to make different decisions and produce different results.

NLP… Today, NLP techniques are widely used in business to improve management, sales and performance, inter-personal skills; in education to better understand learning styles, develop rapport with students and parents and to aid in motivation; and is a profound set of tools for personal development.

NLP in the pentagon Since 1974

NLP Trained

NLP Trained

NLP Trained

NLP Trained

Who creates your world? Perception Is Projection 126 bps (Brain) 7 +/- 2 Chunks 11,000,000 bps

Perception is Projection

Perception is projection What are you projecting that you are committed to changing? Write it out NOW

Beliefs Beliefs’ create a cascade of emotional & physical reactions. Neuroscientists estimate that we operate at least 95% of our lives from unconscious programs.  That’s HUGE ! Without our conscious awareness, the unconscious mind hijacks our emotions and body! What are your beliefs about yourself, about your employees, co-workers, friends, family and clients? Study-school

Communication & conflict

Masterful Communication The masterful communicator works towards sending out clear, concise and powerful messages, adjusting his style to ensure his message gets across optimally. When you have the right mindset, the right skills and the right practice, it will become second nature to you

Ways to resolve miscommunication and conflict! Rapport

#1 Establish Rapport Establish Rapport Much psychological research done in the area of trust and when you establish rapport, you gain trust.

Communication ~ Birdwhistell Study 1970-Ray Birdwhistell study Physiology: 55% Posture, Gesture, Facial Expression and blinking, Breathing Tonality: 38% of our communication - We can vary our tone, tempo, timbre and volume Words: 7% Predicates, key words, common experiences and associations and content chunks FACT: 93% of our communication is unconscious

Rapport What rapport does is it allows for that communication to go directly into the unconscious mind of the co worker, employee, family member, friend, client or customer!

Instant Rapport Matching & Mirroring physiology is the way to gain instant rapport when you are there in person. EX: if the right hand is raised, raise your left, in matching raise the same body part.

Matching & Mirroring

Matching & Mirroring

Matching & Mirroring

Tonality 38% Would it be useful to establish instant rapport over the phone? Match their tonality, tempo, pitch and volume

Who here uses Text messaging?

7% ~ Language and Words Some people communicate best by using words that use pictures (visual) and might say “Does that look right?” Or Auditory, “Does what I’m proposing sound right?” OR Kinesthetic, “Does what I’m proposing feel right?” OR Auditory Digital (self talk), “Does what I’m proposing make sense?”

Predicates ~ Key Words Visual see, Look, view, appear, envision, picture, focus, reveal, show, crystal clear Auditory Hear, listens, sounds, tune in/out, resonate, question, harmonize, Kinesthetic Touch, feel, catch on, solid, get a hold of, concrete, grasp, solid Auditory Digital Makes sense, understand, learn, think, process, change motivate, decide, understand, perceive

Predicates ~ Key Words You have shown me a bright idea on how to proceed and I would like to look into it further. You have told me of a way to proceed that sounds good and I would like to hear more about it. You have handed me a way to proceed that is on solid ground and I would like to get more of a feel for it. You have provided me with a way to proceed that makes sense and I would like have more details.

Physiology and Preferred Rep Systems Visual – tend to sit up straight, breath from the top of their lungs and get excited easily. often use expressions such as: • “I see.” • “It seems clear.” • “Do you see my point? • “I can see right through you.”

Auditory people if your meeting with someone who is more auditory, you want to slow down a bit, modulate your voice more and really listen. The easiest way to identify an auditory oriented person is by listening to their expressions. They often use phrases like: • “Hear me out.” • “Listen to what I’m saying.” • “I didn’t hear that clearly.” • “We need to talk.” • “I can tell by your tone…”

Auditory people – keep in mind Auditory people are sensitive to another’s tone of voice and can be easily offended when given criticism or correction. Therefore, using softer tones and beginning criticism or correction with positive affirmations is the best way to communicate with auditory people.

Auditory the main points to remember once you’ve determined you’re dealing with a person who relates via sound: 1. Be sensitive when speaking. 2. Use appropriate tones of voice. 3. Begin criticism or correction with positive affirmations and use the agreement frame I agree AND, I understand AND,

Kinesthetic ~ Feelers Kinesthetic oriented people respond to touch and act on how they feel. Kinesthetic persons often use terms such as these in conversation: • “I just felt as if…” • “I’ll handle it.” • “I feel like we really connected.” • “Take it easy.”

Kinesthetic ~ Feelers Kinesthetic people are hard to motivate, however, because they often can’t get past how they’re feeling in the moment. They are very emotionally driven and often let their emotions control their actions. Kinesthetic oriented persons also react to gut instincts and tend not to base decisions on reason or logic.

Auditory Digital They generally gravitate to the sciences and occupations that deal with facts and figures or problem solving, such as accountants, engineers, scientists. They are excited by logic and reason and fear being illogical. They have a more formal and conservative look. They tend to have a structured and deliberate walking pattern. They demonstrate few, if any, facial expressions and few body jesters.

Auditory Digital Key words (that they use and relate to): Process Think Know Details Organize Cost-effectiveness Budget Tasks, charts, graphs Sequence (Keep things in order. Follow the steps.)

Quote "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

DISTINGUISHING EXPLORING AND ASSERTING When it comes to communicating, there are dozens of things we can do with words.  Yet the two major categories are exploring and asserting.  We explore by asking questions, being curious, wondering, just witnessing so that we can seek first to understand.  We assert by giving advice, telling, making definitive statements, feel certain, close the mind to other possibilities, and push our way through.

Asking Questions We seek to gather information, and seeking to understand, we are coming from a place of openness.  We are not certain, not sure, not absolute, not definitive.  the nature of the brain, it is “the ultimate answering machine.”  Put a question to a brain and it has a compulsive need to come up with an answer!  Place a question in a brain, especially one that it cannot answer, and the brain will primarily go into over-drive seeking an answer.

TASK Practice Rapport everywhere you go with everyone you come into contact with… notice what you notice! Spend a day loosening up your model of the world. Throughout your day, use this question frequently: How might I see this situation/person/ issue differently? Or ask: What if I’m just totally wrong about my perception of this!

Get board certified in 4 certifications NLP Coaching Certification –Peak Performance Coach NLP Practitioner Hypnosis Practitioner Time Line Therapy® Practitioner Certified by the American Boards of NLP, American Board of Hypnotherapy, Board of Time Line Therapy® and NLP Coaching Division

Questions? Thank You ~ Lynn Thier www.lynnthier.com