Family Life Education 7th Grade Coach Staup Coach Johnson Coach Cruz

abstinence Reasons for abstinence Today we are discussing abstaining or abstinence as it relates to sex. You need to understand that the only 100% sure way to avoid an unplanned pregnancy, becoming a teen father, or catching a sexually transmitted infection is to practice abstinence. You will see that there are many benefits and positive reasons to make the choice to abstain. Reasons for abstinence Health reasons Personal reasons Relationship reasons

Health Reasons Abstinence is the only certain means of avoiding unintended pregnancy. Abstinence lowers the risk of contracting sexual transmitted diseases including HIV. Abstinence lowers the risk of cervical cancer, a risk associated with HPV and herpes.

Personal Reasons To remain or become abstinent matches one’s personal values and faith. Most major religions encourage abstinence. One’s future goals may be compromised by the decision to become sexually involved. An unintended pregnancy is a life altering consequence, especially for the girl. Often a young person will decide, “This is not right for me at this time in my life.” Abstinence means less stress and fewer regrets Abstinence is a form of maturity Abstinence helps young people achieve their future goals

Relationship Reasons Many young people want to build a friendship with their partner before becoming intimate. They realize it is best for them to know the person well and be able to trust them. Abstinence allows the couple to become close without becoming sexual. Abstinence allows for development of trust and love. One should not forget the effects on emotional well-being if the relationship breaks up after the couple has been intimate. For a variety of reasons, more young people are choosing abstinence from intimate sexual relationships. They have decided there are real advantages in waiting. Abstinence is good practice for fidelity within marriage.

S.T.A.R. decision making Stop Think Act Review Give yourself time to make the right choice Think Consider the possible consequences Act Behave consistently with your choice Review Evaluate whether it was right for you

Influences on becoming/remaining abstinence Media Mixed messages Culture Religion Families Influences and expectations

Class Activity On your paper, write down a reason to wait to have sex that is meaningful to you. I will look specifically for this. I will collect the responses and compile a list on the board.

Sexual Assault Risk reduction and seeking help

What is sexual assault? Any sexual act towards another person … whether by force or not, against a persons will or while they are not capable of giving consent. TYPES OF SEXUAL ASSULT Sexual harassment Verbal or non verbal unwanted sexual contact Sexual exploitation Using another person without caring how it affects them Rape/attempted rape Forced sex against a persons will Sexual abuse Adult or older child forces, tricks or bribes a child into sexual activity

Focus on sexual harassment Unwanted or unwelcome sexual advancements Request for sexual favors Verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature to degenerate the targeted person or persons

ITS AGAINST THE LAW Sexual harassment is illegal and against school policy for students, teachers and school staff. Both females and males can be victims Harassment can result in a hostile learning environment for students A student who is harassed can seek redress against perpetrators

Examples of verbal & non verbal Harassment Wolf whistles or cat calls Calling someone a sexually oriented name Comments about someone’s body “Dirty” jokes Spreading sexual rumors Any unwanted touch Sexual gestures Touching oneself in a sexual way Offensive/sexual pictures

Abusers and targets Most abusers are boys/men Most targets of abuse are girls or women, but can be boys or men.

Definitions Consent- both people want and agree to an action Pressure- one wants to, but the other doesn’t or isn’t sure Coercion- one uses emotional or physical threats to get what he/she wants Abuse- emotional exploitation or physical attack to force a sexual act, or a sexual act with someone unable to give consent

Risk reduction Avoid dangerous situations PLAN AHEAD Always let someone know where you are, where you are going, and when you expect to return. Arrange to have someone available to help you in case of an emergency. Take your cell phone with you BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS Avoid isolated areas

Risk Reduction SOCIAL SITUATIONS When you go to a party, go with a group of your friends. Check up on each other periodically. Use the “buddy system”. Don’t be afraid to let a friend know if someone is making you feel uncomfortable. Be a good friend to your “buddy”. Keep an eye out for him/her.

Risk Reduction If someone is pressuring you… Stay true to your code of conduct Lie. If you are afraid of hurting someone's feelings, it is better to make up a lie and leave than to stay in an uncomfortable situation. Think of an escape route. Look for exits, doors, windows. Are there people around that can help you? Take action. Speak out. Shout “NO” or “FIRE!” (it brings people running) Kick, scream and bite if you have to. TRUST YOUR OWN INSTINCTS!

SEEKING HELP WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSULTED Get away from the assailant – find a safe place Dial 911 Call a friend or family member you can trust HOTLINES for Help National Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673). This is a service of the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) NCCASA.net is a web site that lists the rape crisis centers for each county (North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault).

Reporting the assault It is the choice of the victim whether or not to report sexual assault . Why is it a good idea to report sexual assault? Immediate medical attention may be needed including testing for STDs and prevention of pregnancy Sexual assault is a serious issue. There are trained professionals who can help the victim deal with many of the feelings that he/she has not only immediately after the assault, but for a period of time after the assault. The assailant may repeat this crime if not made to pay a consequence.

Reporting the assault To the police, everything is evidence DO NOT… Shower or bathe Throw away any clothes worn at the time of the assault Brush or comb hair Use the restroom Brush teeth or gargle Put on makeup Eat or drink anything Clean up the crime scene

On the following slides, different scenarios are listed On the following slides, different scenarios are listed. In 3-4 sentences, write down what you would do if you were put in that situation. This means 3-4 sentences per scenario.

What Should you do? 1. You have gone to a party with a friend. You have agreed to check in on each other throughout the party. Your friend meets a new and interesting person and tells you that the two of them are leaving the party together. What do you do? 2. It is a hot day in July when you attend your annual family reunion at the lake front park. You have never met your mother’s cousin before, but there is something about him that makes you uncomfortable. He asks you to go with him into the boathouse to help him get paddles for a canoe. You do not want to be alone with the man. What do you do?

What should you do? 3. It is lunchtime when your good friend tells you that she is leaving school. She is obviously very upset, grabs her coat and slams her locker shut. When you walk with her to the door, she is crying as she tells you that her boyfriend sexually assaulted her in her own home the evening before. What can you do to help her? 4. You are helping your mother by giving your 5-year-old little sister a bath before her bedtime. She tells you that they have a new teacher’s helper at her school but she doesn’t like the lady at all. What kind of questions would be appropriate to ask a 5- year-old to make sure there is not a serious issue?

What should you do? 5. You and Ted have been riding the same bus together for years. He has always been a big tease, but lately he has done some things that embarrass you. He used to pull girl’s pony tails, but in the last week has snapped the back of a girl’s bra strap and told another classmate that she was “hot enough to be in Playboy magazine.” What can you do? 6. Your younger brother tells you that his new soccer coach has asked him to take off his shirt and flex his muscle. When he did the “iron man” pose, his coach took his picture. What should you do? 7. You and another 7th grade friend have been hired to babysit five younger children. One of them is very loud and your friend suggests that he take the child into another room, separate from you and the other children. Is this a good idea? Why/why not?