Working Effectively with Students with Emotional, Behavioral, and Social Challenges in the Classroom . . . In Five Easy Steps John Sommers-Flanagan, Ph.D. john.sf@mso.umt.edu johnsommersflanagan.com

Intro Let’s Get Straight on Several Things Screwed up . . . Support, pay, criticize, class size If I were running for public office: Econ, Env, Just Your SCs asked me . . . hahaha Three days later . . . But reality is what it is . . . and so we have One hour

Workshop Overview Focus in on what it takes to work effectively with challenging students (and parents) We’ll cover: Some stories Two big models that might help Specific strategies and techniques What to do when nothing is working Caveats and excuses

What We Need Today Openness to Learning Commitment to being Respectful

And Remember This is YOUR workshop Your input and comments are welcome, not mandatory

Step 1 – Use Your Common Wisdom The Portland VA Hospital – 1984 Use your personal wisdom and common relationship sense Avoid backing people into corners Avoid being too bossy or insulting Avoid telling people they’re being stupid or silly Let others be RIGHT sometimes And do your best to NOT live by the Satanic Golden Rule

Step 2 – Focus on Your Goals Eight Warts We must focus LIKE A LASER on our goals and amazing things can happen

Children Need Great Teachers

Yep: Even Angry and Defiant Teens

Why Teens Misbehave Hungry, tired, sick Attention Power and control Revenge (anger) To display inadequacy What Two Things Do Students Need to Mitigate these Problems? To belong To feel useful and important

Instant Reflection What did I do to start our time together today? How did it feel? The whole point was to communicate to you that I VALUE YOU . . . YOU BELONG HERE . . . YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT . . .

Step 3 – Work to Help Your Students Experience Belonging and Usefulness Find your own way to start every day with a communication to your students I VALUE YOU . . . YOU BELONG HERE . . . YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT . . . And repeat this throughout the day With every bit of genuineness you can muster

It’s natural—BUT NOT HELPFUL—to ignore desirable or positive behaviors Step 4 – Avoid Backward Behavior Modification: Use Passionate Rewards and Boring Consequences It’s natural—BUT NOT HELPFUL—to pay too much attention to undesirable behaviors It’s natural—BUT NOT HELPFUL—to ignore desirable or positive behaviors The Solution Use passionate rewards and boring consequences Bulging veins story

Step 5 – Know Strategies to Influence Direct Power Indirect Power Problem-Solving Power Relationship Power

Direct Power MBI Use Grandma’s Rule – “When you, then you” Use Compassionate or Empathic Limit-Setting (do this calmly) Give a choice: You can sit down or go see the principal – you choose. Set the limit – By asking the student: “What will happen if . . .?” Set the limit – By stating it yourself

Indirect Power Use radical validation: “Of course you’re angry. This is the kind of situation that could make anyone angry.” And show empathy or acknowledge the feelings: “This situation is clearly very upsetting to you.” Use character feedback Use the seven magic Choice Theory words

The Seven Magic CT Words Sometimes you need to lay down the law But if you do that too much, or have a strong-willed student, you may elicit resistance Try using these words: I want you . . . but it’s your choice You can use way more than seven words And they’re not really magic, but “I want you” is very powerful

Problem-Solving Power What do you want? What are you doing? How is it working? Should you make a new plan? You have to follow the rules, but how can we work this out? What do you need to do to be successful today? Encourage positive outcomes: “I think you can succeed with this.”

Relationship Power Give messages of belonging and being useful and caring Show yourself as compassionate and committed Create a respect bubble

Step 6 – Make a Plan Math book story Whispering and plans (be proactive)

Summary Step 1: Use your common wisdom Step 2: Focus like a laser on your goals Step 3: Work to help your students experience belonging and usefulness Step 4: Avoid backward behavior modification: use passionate rewards and boring consequences Step 5: Know strategies to influence Step 6: Make a plan

Concluding Comments And if nothing works?? “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood” What will you remember? What strategies could you start using right away?

For Free Tip Sheets and Other Cool Stuff go to: johnsommersflanagan.com And be sure to watch (and listen) for the Montana Parenting Podcast Project . . . Which will hit the internet in a couple weeks