Business English and writing skills Unit 5 – Organizing and drafting business messages Source: The Essentials of Business Communication, 10e (U2-Ch3, pg 63)

Drafting workplace messages The second stage of the writing process involves gathering information, organizing it into outlines, and drafting messages. Questions to ask: What does the receiver need to know about this topic? What is the receiver to do? How is the receiver to do it? When must the receiver do it? What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it? If your communication problem requires more information than you currently have access to, informal or formal research is required.

Research methods Informal Formal Search company files Talk with the boss Interview the target audience Conduct an informal survey Brainstorm for ideas Formal Electronic sources Manual search (directories, newspapers, books, etc.) Investigate primary sources (site visits, fan page search, etc.) Scientific experiments

Organizing information Processes Grouping → group similar themes/items together to avoid readers having to jump from one place to another. Strategizing → depends on how the audience will respond to your ideas.

Organizing information Direct strategy (frontloading): when readers are likely to be pleased, mildly interested, or neutral (not upsetting) The main point (purpose) is placed in the first or second sentence, followed by explanations and details. Benefits: Saves time, sets a proper frame of mind, reduces frustration. Best for orders and acknowledgements, informational reports, non sensitive subjects.

Organizing information Indirect strategy → when the audience is likely to be uninterested, unwilling, displeased or even hostile. The main idea is revealed after explanations and evidence. Benefits: respects audience’s feelings, offers a fair hearing (by delaying the main idea), minimizing negative reactions. Best for bad news, ideas that require persuasion, and sensitive news.

Organizing information If the audience is likely to be receptive or neutral, don’t bury the main idea…

Composing the draft: variety with 4 sentences types Simple sentence → Once complete thought (independent clause) + subject and predicate verb E.g. The entrepreneur saw an opportunity. Compound sentence → 2 complete but related thoughts. The entrepreneur saw an opportunity, and she responded. The entrepreneur saw an opportunity; she responded. The entrepreneur saw an opportunity; consequently, she responded.

Composing the draft: variety with 4 sentences types Complex sentence → independent clause (complete thought) + dependent clause (cannot stand alone). E.g. When the entrepreneur saw the opportunity, she responded immediately. Compound-complex sentence → at least 2 independent clauses + 1 dependent clause E.g. When the entrepreneur saw the opportunity, she responded immediately; however, she needed capital.

Avoid 3 common sentence faults Fragments Broken off part of a complex sentence. Usually start with words like although, as, because, etc., which introduce dependent clauses.

Avoid 3 common sentence faults Run on sentences Also known as a fused sentence. A sentence with 2 independent clauses must be joined by a conjunction (and, but, or), a semi colon or split into two sentences.

Avoid 3 common sentence faults Comma splice sentences Caused by joining 2 independent clauses with a comma. Can be fixed by using a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but) or a conjunctive adverb (however, therefore, etc.) or periods.

Exercises

Part 2 Emphasis, parallelism, active/passive voice, modifiers

Developing emphasis Can be done mechanically or stylistically Mechanics

Developing emphasis Through style Use vivid, not general words. Vivid words are emphatic because the reader can picture ideas clearly.

Developing emphasis Through style Place the important idea first or last. Ideas have less competition from surrounding words when they appear first or last.

Developing emphasis De-emphasize when necessary Bad news can be placed in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause that contains something positive.

Use active / passive voice effectively Active voice → the subject (the actor), does the action. Passive voice → subject receives the action. Active voice is more direct, easier to understand, and shorter. It is the preferred method in business writing. Passive voice is useful, however, to emphasize an action rather than a person, de-emphasize bad news, and hide the doer of an action.

Developing parallelism Sentences written so their parts are balanced, or parallel, are easier to understand. Use similar structures to express similar ideas. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and clauses with clauses.

Developing parallelism

Escaping dangling or misplaced modifiers Modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. A modifier is said to be dangling when the word or phrase it describes is missing from the sentence. E.g. After working overtime, the report was finally finished. Problem? Sentence says the report was working overtime. Fix? After working overtime, we finally finished the report.

Escaping dangling or misplaced modifiers A modifier is misplaced when the word or phrase it describes or limits is not close enough to be clear. E.g. Firefighters rescued a dog from a burning car that had a broken leg. Problem? The car did not have a broken leg. Fix? Position the modifier closer to the word(s) it describes. E.g. Firefighters rescued a dog that had a broken leg from a burning car.

Escaping dangling or misplaced modifiers Trick: Ask who? or what? after any introductory phrase.

Crafting topic sentences Topic sentence: Flexible work scheduling could immediately increase productivity and enhance employee satisfaction in our organization. (expresses the idea of a paragraph. Usually goes first, but can be placed in the middle or the end) Supporting sentences: Managers would maintain their regular hours. For many other employees, however, flexible scheduling provides extra time to manage family responsibilities. Feeling less stress, employees are able to focus their attention better at work; therefore, they become more relaxed and productive. (illustrates, explains, or strengthens the topic sentence)

Building coherence Well-written paragraphs take the reader through a number of steps and follow the writer’s ideas. Tips: Repeat a key idea by using the same expression or a similar one. Employees treat guests as VIPs. These VIPs are never told what to do. Use pronouns to refer to previous nouns. All new employees receive a two-week orientation. They learn that every staffer has a vital role. Show connections with transitional expressions. Hospitality is our business; consequently, training is critical. Keep paragraphs short! (less than 8 lines)

Common transitional expressions

Exercises