Spring Board 4.8 Deleting Wordiness RADaR Revisions

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Presentation transcript:

Spring Board 4.8 Deleting Wordiness RADaR Revisions

Deleting Wordiness: Wordiness is often the result of idea development and often appears in initial drafting. Although it is important for writers to have a “fat draft” with which to work, they must learn to trim wordy passages in the final draft.

Common Wordiness: Sentences beginning with there and it Overuse of the passive voice Unnecessary repetition Empty or “dead” words and phrases Practice independently on page 260

Unnecessary words that repeat in meaning: Pink in color Small in size True facts Period in time Past memories Of cheap quality Often times Future plans Honest in character Terrible tragedy End result Various differences Free gift Very unique In a confused state Past history For the reason that * With your partner discuss how the examples show wordiness and how to correct it.

Passive Voice: A passive voice is when the subject of the sentence is acted on by the verb. Example: The ball was thrown by the pitcher Correct: The pitcher threw the ball Practice together Example: The gerbil was eaten by the dog. The committee was led by a PTO member. The device was operated by a sophisticated set of robotics.

Correcting Wordiness: Read the paragraph on page 261 with your shoulder partner, highlight as many examples of wordiness as you can find. Then on rewrite the paragraph eliminating the wordiness without changing the meaning of the sentences. Revisit your draft and correct any wordiness.

RADaR Revisions Replace Add Delete Reorder Words that are not specific Words that are overused Sentences that are unclear Add New information Descriptive adjectives and adverbs Transitions to show movement between ideas Rhetorical or literary devices (Cat Claws) Delete Unrelated ideas Sentences that sound good but do not make sense Repeated words, phrases, or ideas Unnecessary details Reorder So most important points stand out To make better sense or flow better So details support the main ideas RADaR Revisions