Welcome to the Junior League Conflict Mode Workshop Presented by BJ Fuller Holmberg, Ph. D. Organizational Consultant October 25, 2005 San Francisco 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use Conflict Situation where your concerns or desires differ from another’s 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

Five Modes for Handling Conflict Adapted from the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument Competing Collaborating High Assertiveness Compromising Low Avoiding Accommodating Low High Cooperativeness

Steps for Finding a Collaborative Solution Create an effective atmosphere Clarify perceptions Focus on individual and shared needs Build shared positive power Look to the future; learn from the past Generate options Develop “doables” – stepping stones to action Make mutual-benefit agreements From the Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, Dudley Weeks From the Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, Dudley Weeks 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use Criticism has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved or reduced, but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built. Carl Jung 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use Giving Feedback SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact) Describe the Situation Describe the Behavior Describe the Impact 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use Top 10 Feedback Mistakes Judge individuals not actions Too vague Speaks for others Sandwich negative feedback between positive messages Exaggerated Psychoanalyzes motives Goes on too long Contains an implied threat Inappropriate humor Question, not a statement Adapted from materials from Center for Creative Leadership 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use Skill Building Practice giving feedback using the SBI model in a non-threatening situation to build your skills Pay attention to how you typically give feedback (at home, to the kids, at work, to friends) and see if you habitually make any of the top 10 mistakes; work on doing feedback differently if you do Choose a conflict that’s worth the time and effort to come to a collaborative solution and try out the Eight Steps 9/21/2018 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use