Configurations of self Level 3 Diploma in Counselling Skills

Aims Clarify what a self-concept is Explain organismic self Examine resonance/self disclosure

Today we will Self-worth, self-image and ideal self Self-disclosures The use of ‘Self’ Configurations of self

The Self

What is the self? The self is the humanistic term for who we really are as a person.  The self is our inner personality, and can be likened to the soul, or Freud's psyche.  The self is influenced by the experiences a person has in their life, and our interpretations of those experiences.  Two primary sources that influence our self-concept are childhood experiences and evaluation by others http://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-rogers.html

Self-Concept vs Self-Image & Self-Worth & Ideal Self What do the words mean?

Self-concept “The person’s conceptual construction of himself.” That is the idea of the self that we develop over time in response to the expectations of others and because of pressure to fit in and behave in certain ways. Not formed from reality but from the ideals, expectations and social pressures from others Dykes, Klopp & Postings, 2015 Intangible, we cannot name it or describe it but it’s what we are made from

Self-concept consists of 3 parts: 1. Self-worth or self-esteem: The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. Your general attitude towards yourself. It’s how your evaluate yourself. 2. Self-image The idea or concept or mental image we have of ourselves. This includes our body-image. Self-image has an effect on how a person thinks, feels and behaves. 3. Ideal self The person we would like to be.

Organismic Self The early true, honest and un-contaminated self which does not have to conform to the expectations of others Our authentic self

“The person-centred counsellor has a deep faith in the inner wisdom and potential of each client and she knows that her task is to offer a relationship where that wisdom and potential can be released and enhanced. Such faith will be groundless, however, if the counsellor cannot regard her own being with the same positive conviction. Nor can she offer the necessary relationship to her client unless she believes herself worthy of the same unconditional, affirming acceptance and the same empathic understanding that she wishes her clients to experience.” Mearns, D & Thorne, B (2013) Person-Centred Counselling in Action, Fourth Edition, Sage Publications LTD The link between client’s self-concept and the counsellor’s self-concept.

Conditions of worth: “If I am to be of value, I must ... Be perfect Never cry Work hard111111 Not get angry Do as your told Have an opinion Be strong Be smart Be the best Have a fast car Be successful Etc How did you learn this? What memories come to mind?

Our own self-acceptance and self-love In pairs answer these questions? Can I distinguish between self-acceptance, self-love and selfishness and commit myself to embrace the former two qualities? Am I self-accepting and, if not, where are my sticking points? Do I seek consciously to extend my empathic skills? Can I be genuine enough to disclose my thoughts and feelings to my friends especially when I am feeling angry or resentful, weak or unlovable? Our own self-acceptance and self-love

Configurations and the theory of ‘self-pluralism’ “The person appears to symbolise their self as comprising different parts, voices, sub-personalities, sub-selves or, the word that we have used, configurations.” (Mearns, 1999; Mearns and Thorne, 2000). “A configuration is a developed ‘self-within-the-self’ that can contain a wide array of elements – a set of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that together represent an important dimension of the person’s existence. Two or more configurations may be in dialogue with each other.” Configurations and the theory of ‘self-pluralism’

What are different parts of you? The ‘little princess’ The ‘vixen’ The angry part The ‘bossy bitch’ The ‘party-girl’ A ‘strong’ part and a ‘weak part’ The ‘perfect wife/ husband’ What are your ‘parts’?

The use of ‘Resonance’ “Through self-awareness in therapy the therapist becomes conscious of their experiencing, i.e. The immediate present flow of experiences. What they experience is resonance to both the client’s world and/ or their own world. Resonance means the echo in the therapist triggered by the relationship with the client.” (Schmid and Mearns, 2006:181)

Resonance vs self-disclosure Self-resonance: The therapist’s own thoughts, fears, desires, doubts, feelings, etc. It’s about the therapists’ life experience.  When and how would you disclose that? Empathic resonance: The therapist picks up the sensing of the client and reflects it back to him. “You really wonder why you stayed with him for so long.” Personal resonance: The therapist includes her own responses, as a reasonable person to the client’s experiencing. It shows the involvement in the relationship with the client. “I’m holding my breath for you...”

How was the triad today? Did you feel any resonance? Were you tempted to disclose? Could you identify any configurations of self?

Homework Reflect on your skills practice. Complete the reflective piece at the back of your skills session and keep until the after the 4th case study session.

Role Play Triads 15 minutes each role Verbal feedback from observer, www & mhd Remember BOOST