Attachment, why it matters? Chapter 1: Attachment Means

Parent/Child Attachment Predicts Success in Life  Attachment Cycle – why is this important early in a child's life?  They learn their needs are going to be met. They learn how to trust  Attachment is the affectionate bond between the child and the caregiver  Why does attachment matter?'  Because they do better in a variety of ways later in life  More socially competent  Do better in school  And will be better parents

Attachment and the Caregiver  Learning to dance  Parent may not know how to lead the dance  The more we know about ourselves and our own attachment styles, the better we will be able to help our children  The best thing you can do as a parent is to make sense of your own internal world. How did the past influence your development?  What is important for caregivers is to explore the way you are and not so much what you do

Attachment and the Caregiver  Why does knowing the way you are matter?  Your attachment style affects not only how you parent, but how your child responds  Is the way we parent right now going to promote a healthy attachment for our children?  Children need a secure base to grow and to thrive  A child's feelings of trust and self-worth is the beginning of secure attachment  If a child comes into the world and are not cared for they will not survive. This is called a "Failure to Thrive"

Attachment and the Caregiver  The importance of watching your child's behavior  This will help you understand what your child is really trying to tell you  Attachment is like falling in love – babies are naturally programmed to seek out their caregiver. This pattern only intensifies as the child grows older  Abuse, abandonment and neglect derails a child's development  Even before a child is born, development can be interrupted by drugs, alcohol, stressful pregnancies, or a traumatic birth  Even life-saving interventions can be encoded into a child's brain as trauma  Layers of trauma events In a child's life is know as Complex Developmental Trauma or Children From Hard Places

Attachment and the Caregiver  Children from Hard Places  Brain chemistry of a child who has disordered attachment is drastically altered  The gas pedal is stuck at 120 miles per hour both emotionally and behaviorally  For there these children, there is no hope for healing without a nurturing, loving and caring environment  The right kind of nurturing can help heal the brain  The relationship you have with your child fires the different patterns in the brain that causes the brain to grow or not grow in specific ways  We can help our children if we are willing to examine and improve our own attachment skills

Something for Discussion  Your son clenches his hands in tight fists and his eyes glaze over when you leave him at school. From observing your child's behaviors, what messages is he sending to you?'  Your little girl is doing fine until the preschool teacher distributes clay, a which point your child refuses to participate or becomes aggressive. What might be triggering this behavior?