What makes you happy? Raj Raghunathan UT austin Knowledge to go webinar series, Oct 11th, 2016

The Genie Question

What’s on people’s Genie wish-list?

What’s on people’s Genie wish-list?

Functionality of happiness Health Relationships Citizenship Success Creativity Productivity Sick-leave Tacit knowledge

The first and second elements Can’t be happy without these three goals—let’s just take that as a given; the question is how do we go about achieving these goals? There are good—happiness enhancing—ways to do it and bad—happiness deflating—ways to do it. Mastery: a sense that you do something really well; actualized or actualizing your “god given” gifts or potential Belongingness: a sense of deep and intimate connection with at least one other person Autonomy: A sense that you are not constrained to do things because of external pressure Basic necessities

The 3rd element: Mindset Scarcity Abundance

Why mindset matters MBA through MBA through Chasing Superiority Need to be Loved External Control MBA through Pursuing Flow Need to Love (and Give) Internal Control

Why seeking superiority lowers happiness Manifested in desire for relative superiority over others Comparison with the Joneses (luxury fever) Esp with close-others Easterlin Paradox Why flattery works Desire to associate with important people even if with no chance of ever meeting them! Basis in genetics and in socialization processes Survival chances are higher for those with resources Social messages and stories (e.g., survivor or success bias) emphasize this need Subversive because: Adaptation Only one place at the top, and even that is not guaranteed forever Negative reciprocity Ways of overcoming: We don’t need to worry about survival! Recognize role of context and luck in success and failure Multiple intelligence theory

Symptoms of “flow” Time seems to expand in the moment; yet, time seems to have passed rapidly in retrospect No attention capacity left over for self-consciousness; mind is completely involved in the activity at hand Hence, ironically, you are not “Happy” when in Flow; it’s only when you reflect on the activity that you feel Happy You become immersed in the activity (you “become the activity”) You are fully present moment

Why flow boosts happiness Enjoyable in the present, enjoyable in the future through meaning & expertise Distraction from me-focus Interpersonal effects: Very few grudge flow/enjoyment (vs. money, fame) Absorption  Charisma Enjoyment Cooperation from others

Why the mindset matters MBA through Chasing Superiority Need to be Loved External Control MBA through Pursuing Flow Need to Love (and Give) Internal Control

Why neediness lowers happiness If expressed too openly, people shirk away Attracts wrong people Story you tell yourself

The “need to love”

Why kindness enhances happiness

Why the mindset matters MBA through Chasing Superiority Need to be Loved External Control MBA through Pursuing Flow Need to Love (and Give) Internal Control

Why External Control Lowers Happiness 1st picture: your hair is there to tell you that you can’t control everything 2nd picture: when you try to control others, you don’t get others love

Internal Control (TPRFYH)

Why Internal Control Enhances Happiness

Why mindset matters MBA through MBA through “Scarcity” Approach “Abundance” Approach MBA through Chasing Superiority Need to be Loved External Control MBA through Pursuing Flow Need to Love (and Give) Internal Control

3 ways to nurture abundance

Thank you!