By Kellie Hill, MS, LPC-S, NCC Mindful Parenting By Kellie Hill, MS, LPC-S, NCC

About the Presenter Grew up in NY Graduated from UST with a B.A. in Education Graduated from UHCL with a M.S. in Counseling Counselor for 17 years Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor 3 daughters (11,12,14) Divorced parent Runner

Overview Definition of Mindfulness Keys to Mindful Parenting Mindful Techniques How to implement mindful techniques with your children Questions/Comments

What is Mindfulness? …And What It's Not.

Mindfulness is… Being fully present in the moment. Keeping your thoughts present. gently bringing back your thoughts to the present if your mind wanders. Focusing your thoughts on your breath. Just being. Not a religious practice. Key in reducing stress and anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6T02g5hnT4

Keys to Mindful Parenting How to Live in the Moment as a Parent

Just Be Begin small - Just 5 minutes a day, same time and place daily It can be difficult at first to take the time for yourself Find a quiet place – even if it's the bathroom Focus your attention on your breath Notice your feelings To bring mindfulness to your home, you must begin with yourself and model for your children

Mindfully Deal with Stress We are often just on a crazy train of schedules and appointments Being stressed often causes us to react without thinking Being aware of your feelings and emotions will help us interact with our children in the best way possible Use the STOP Acronym S – Stop – Whenever you notice stress, pause to simply be aware and notice the feelings you are having T – Take a breath – Full breathes; slow and full; Slows the heart and turns off the brain's alarm center O – Observe – Notice how your body is feeling; look around at what is truly happening around you P – Proceed – Once centered you are able to move on with purposeful actions

Allow Yourself to Be 'Good Enough' We are often striving to be a PERFECT parent – never being late; providing nutritionally balanced meals; laundry always done and neatly folded; signing all folders, permission slips, etc. in a timely manner… Our failing moments help our children separate from us as is developmentally appropriate When we make mistakes with grace, our children learn it's okay to make mistakes. This is pertinent in reducing stress and anxiety.

Honoring Your Child's Independence Children NEED to be seen and heard as separate from us; they are not an extension of us Many conflicts between parent and child come from a lack of clear boundaries We have to be aware of our own short comings and issues so that we are not projecting those onto our children i.e. Encouraging children to do an activity we prefer; expecting high achievement in order to participate.

Create an Atmosphere of Kindness and Compassion Parenting is difficult and exhausting; we're constantly on. Often what is left after giving our kids everything we have is of poor quality Mindfulness is a gift we give ourselves To give our children unconditional love we have to first give that to ourselves It's okay to leave the dirty dishes in the sink to sit and listen with full attention to our children. It doesn't make you a failure. We tend to be more forgiving to our children, when we forgive ourselves. Compassion will begin to come more naturally

The Mindful Trickle Down Effect When we are at peace, our children will be at peace When we are aware, our children will be aware When we are nonjudgmental, our children will be nonjudgmental Several studies have shown that parents who practice mindfulness have children that feel less stressed It's worth the 5 minutes!!!

So How Do I Become More Mindful? Do I need to be a Jedi?

Breathing The key is to think about how you are breathing Your belly should move outward as you breathe in Just notice the changes in your body following the breathing Let's Practice https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEfs5TJZ6Nk

Technology Meets Mindfulness

Other Mindful Techniques Get outside – Go to our local State and County Parks. Walk and notice colors, movement, feelings, sounds, etc. Don't worry about how far or how fast. Mandalas – Adult coloring. Use colored pencils, markers, crayons, etc and allow yourself the time to color. Notice your feelings… ex. I have noticed feeling guilty Mindful eating – Look at your food; smell your food, small bites and think about the flavors. Avoid eating food in the car or standing over the sink and eating. Live by routine – Not rigid schedules; reduces stress Undivided attention – 1 hour a day; activity directed by kids

QUESTIONS? COMMENTS?