Chapter 6 Revising Business Messages © 2015 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part. Chapter 6 Revising Business Messages Business Communication: Process and Product, 8e Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy

Taking Time to Revise: Applying Phase 3 of the Writing Process Writing Process: Prewriting, Drafting, and Revising Revising: improving content and sentence structure Proofreading: correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, mechanics Revising takes the most time in the writing process.

Revising for Conciseness Eliminate flabby expressions. Flabby Concise at this point in time now due to the fact that because in very few cases seldom despite the fact that although in the near future soon

Revising for Conciseness Limit long lead-ins. Wordy Concise This is to let you know that Monday is a holiday. Monday is a holiday. I am sending this e-mail to announce that our internal audit begins on January 5. Our internal audit begins on January 5.

Revising for Conciseness Drop unnecessary there/is are and it is/was fillers. Wordy Concise There were more than 45 visitors who commented on her blog. More than 45 visitors commented on her blog. It was a hilarious animal video that went viral. A hilarious animal video went viral.

Revising for Conciseness Reject redundancies. Redundant Concise combined together combined exact same exact or same my personal opinion my opinion refer back refer

Revising for Conciseness Purge empty words. Wordy Concise In the case of General Motors, the car company was reorganized. General Motors was reorganized. We are aware of the fact that many managers need assistance. We know many managers need assistance. When it arrived, I deposited your check immediately. I deposited your check immediately.

Revising for Conciseness Condense messages for social media microblogging. Try the following for messages limited to 140 characters. Include only main ideas. Choose descriptive but short words. Personalize whenever possible Be prepared to revise many times for conciseness, clarity, and, yes, even correctness.

Making Your Message Clear Keep it short and simple. Wordy Concise It would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point in time. You should sign now. Here are implements that are necessary for the job to be completed in a satisfactory manner. Here are the tools to do the job satisfactorily.

Making Your Message Clear Dump trite business phrases. Trite Improved pursuant to your request as you requested please do not hesitate to please thanking you in advance thank you enclosed please find enclosed

Making Your Message Clear Drop clichés (worn phrases), slang (informal words with extravagant meanings), and business buzzwords. Cliché, Slang, Buzzword Improved Last but not least, we must cut costs. Finally, we must cut costs. Hey, prof, what u think of my killer paper? Professor, what did you think of my paper? Our point man will telephonically communicate our relanguaged proposal to you. Jake will call you with our revised proposal.

Making Your Message Clear Unbury verbs that are needlessly converted to wordy noun expressions. Buried Verbs Improved give consideration consider reach a conclusion conclude create a reduction in reduce make a decision about decide take action act

Making Your Message Clear Control exuberance by using sparingly such words as very, definitely, quite, totally, etc. Excessive Exuberance Businesslike We are actually very certain that they totally agree with our proposal. We are certain that they agree with our proposal. Jake was really extremely sorry that he completely forgot the meeting. Jake was sorry that he forgot the meeting.

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Employ white space by Adding headings Including bulleted or numbered lists Using short sentences Writing short paragraphs Setting effective margins

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Setting margins Use 1 to 1½ inch margins How to set margins

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Setting for Ragged-Right Margins Ragged-right margins provide more white space and improve readability. Result Aligns text at left margin and creates a ragged-right margin

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Choose appropriate typefaces. Consider sans serif (such as Arial) for headings, signs, and material that does not require continuous reading. Consider serif (such as Times New Roman) for body font. Notice that serif typefaces have small features at the ends of strokes.

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Use 10- to 12-pt. font for most body text. For special effects consider: CAPITALIZATION SMALL CAPS Boldface Italics Underline

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Use vertical lists or enumerated items to improve comprehension. Numbered lists (1, 2, 3) for items that show a sequence Bulleted lists for items that do not show a chronology Numbered List Bulleted List Follow these steps in starting a business: Write a business plan. Locate venture capital. Prepare a feasibility study. Consider the following: Environmental regulations Employee benefit plans Licensing requirements

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Employ parallel (balanced) construction when listing similar ideas. Not Parallel Parallel It’s all about money: earning it, investing it, and thinking about how to spend it. It’s all about money: earning it, investing it, and spending it. To protect your pet from dognappers: Be a constant companion. Don’t boast about the breed. You should keep photos handy. Keep photos handy.

Enhancing Readability Through Document Design Add headings to enhance comprehension. Types of headings to consider: Main headings Subheadings Category headings

Proofreading to Catch Mistakes What to watch for in proofreading Spelling Grammar Punctuation Names and numbers Format

To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks Delete Capitalize Lowercase (don’t capitalize) Transpose Close up

To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks Insert Insert space Insert punctuation Insert period Start paragraph

To Revise Manually, Use Basic Proofreading Marks This is a short note to let you know that as As you requested, I made an investigation of investigated several of our competitors’ websites. Attached hereto is a summary of the findings. of my investigation. I was really most interested in making a comparison of the employment of comparing marketing strategies as well as the use of navigational graphics used to guide visitors through the sites.