Sentence Fluency

Sentence Fluency 1. Vary sentence beginnings. When you are writing a series of sentences, it is very important that they do not all sound the same– it’s not interesting to the reader. To help with this problem, you can vary sentence beginnings.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence beginnings Read the following short paragraph: Oedipus begins the play by claiming he will do anything to save the people of Thebes. Oedipus sends Creon to the Delphic oracle to ask for advice. Creon tells Oedipus they need to find the murderer of King Laius in order to get rid of the plague. Oedipus goes on a quest to find King Laius’s murderer.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence beginnings One way to avoid this problem is to be conscious of the beginnings of your sentences, and try to rearrange the words you choose so that your sentences are not always starting the same way.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence beginnings Oedipus begins the play by claiming he will do anything to save the people of Thebes. Oedipus sends Creon to the Delphic oracle to ask for advice. Creon tells Oedipus they need to find the murderer of King Laius in order to get rid of the plague. Oedipus goes on a quest to find King Laius’s murderer. At the beginning of the play, Oedipus claims he will do anything to save the people of Thebes. He initially sends Creon to the Delphic oracle to ask for advice. When Creon tells Oedipus they need to find the murderer of King Laius in order to get rid of the plague, Oedipus goes on a quest to find King Laius’s murderer.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence beginnings Practice Paragraph Oedipus sends for the blind prophet Teiresias. Oedipus begs him to reveal who Laius’s murderer is, but Teiresias answers that he knows the truth but wishes he did not. Oedipus insists that Teiresias tells Thebes what he knows. When Oedipus furiously accuses Teiresias of the murder, Teiresias tells Oedipus that Oedipus is the curse. Oedipus criticizes Teiresias and insults him. Oedipus then concocts a story that Creon and Teiresias are conspiring to overthrow him.

Sentence Fluency 2. Vary sentence lengths. A subtle, but very effective way, to make your writing deadly and monotonous is by never varying sentence length.  One short sentence after another makes your prose sound choppy, childish, or like a bad imitation of Hemingway. 

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths “Fixing” Short Sentences Sentence combining and subordination are two methods to fix short-sentence-itis.  Sentence combining is just what it sounds like.  Often, a series of short sentences can be combined into a longer, more effective sentence.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths For Example: Tiresias only taunts Oedipus further. He says that the king does not even know who his parents are. Oedipus becomes extremely angry. Oedipus asks for the truth of his parentage. Tiresias answers only in riddles. He says that the murderer of Laius will turn out to be both brother and father to his children. In the sample paragraph above the short sentences, all having the same noun-verb-object pattern, create a choppy effect.  Here are the sentences "combined" into one, more economical sentence: Tiresias only taunts Oedipus further, saying that the king does not even know who his parents are. Oedipus becomes extremely angry and asks for the truth about his parents. Tiresias, however, answers only in riddles, saying that the murderer will turn out to be both brother and father to his children.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths Practice Paragraph 2: The characters exit. The Chorus takes the stage. They are confused and unsure whom to believe. They decide not to believe any of these accusations against Oedipus. They want to be shown proof. Creon enters because he heard what Oedipus is saying about him. Oedipus accuses Creon of trying to overthrow him.Creon asks Oedipus to be rational. Oedipus says that he wants Creon murdered. Oedipus is resolute in his conclusions and his fury.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths Subordination Short, choppy sentences also make it difficult for a reader to understand the connection between ideas. By using subordinating conjunctions (connective words show the relationship between one clause and another), a reader is given more direction.  Subordinating conjunctions include words such as after, when, although, because, etc.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths Subordination Consider the following example: Tiresias accuses Oedipus of murder. Oedipus blames Creon and Tiresias of plotting against him. Now consider how subordination links and show the connection between the two sentences.  By using different subordinating conjunctions, the sentences take on very different meanings: After Tireasias accuses Oedipus of murder, Oedipus blames Creon and Tiresias of plotting against him.              

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths Practice Paragraph 3: Jocasta enters and convinces Oedipus that he should neither kill nor exile Creon. Oedipus remains convinced that Creon is guilty. Creon leaves. The Chorus reassures Oedipus that it will always be loyal to him. Oedipus explains to Jocasta how Tiresias condemned him. Jocasta responds that all prophets are false. She says the Delphic oracle told Laius he would be murdered by his son, while actually his son was cast out of Thebes as a baby and Laius was murdered by a band of thieves.

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths “Fixing Long, Wordy Sentences” Longer sentences can be extremely effective; they can also be just plain wordy.  Try some of these strategies to streamline your sentences: 1) Avoid using passive verbs such as is, was, were, are, has, had, etc.; passive  contructions create wordiness.  Laius was killed by a man at a crossroads who was running away from his destiny. The man running away from his destiny killed Laius at a crossroads.       

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths “Fixing Long, Wordy Sentences” 2) Avoid using too many prepositional phrases (e.g., "the wife of King Laius" rather than “King Laius’s wife").        

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths “Fixing Long, Wordy Sentences” 3) Prune your sentences.  Eliminate repetition (don't state the same idea three different ways) and eliminate unnecessary words, For example: In my mind, I decided that ... -- where else are you going to decide something?  In someone else's mind?  or phrases like "true fact" (a fact is true), "new innovations," and so forth. 4) Cut back on the use of words such as it, which, whose, that, those, thing, these, they.  5) Eliminate what Ken Macrorie calls "namery" (the habit of naming things that do not need naming).        

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths “Fixing Long, Wordy Sentences” 3) Prune your sentences.  Eliminate repetition (don't state the same idea three different ways) and eliminate unnecessary words, For example: In my mind, I decided that ... -- where else are you going to decide something?  In someone else's mind?  or phrases like "true fact" (a fact is true), "new innovations," and so forth.       

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths Practice Paragraph #4 Jocasta says a narrative of Laius’s murder, which sounds familiar to what Oedipus remembers. He asks to hear more. Jocasta tells him that Laius was killed at a three- way crossroads in Thebes, just before Oedipus arrived in Thebes. Oedipus tells his wife that he may be the one who murdered Laius. He tells Jocasta that, long ago, when he was the prince of Corinth over fifteen years ago, he heard at a banquet that he was not really the son of the king and queen. He went to the oracle of Delphi, which did not answer him but did tell him he would murder his father and sleep with his mother. Oedipus fled from Corinth, away from home.       

Sentence Fluency: Sentence lengths Jocasta says a narrative of Laius’s murder, which sounds familiar to what Oedipus remembers. He asks to hear more. Jocasta tells him that Laius was killed at a three- way crossroads in Thebes, just before Oedipus arrived in Thebes. Oedipus tells his wife that he may be the one who murdered Laius. He tells Jocasta that, long ago, when he was the prince of Corinth over fifteen years ago, he heard at a banquet that he was not really the son of the king and queen. He went to the oracle of Delphi, which did not answer him but did tell him he would murder his father and sleep with his mother. Oedipus fled from Corinth, away from home.       

Sentence Fluency 3. Vary transitions. Too frequently in 9 week projects, students start with “For example” and get stuck with it. See sample list of transitions if you are struggling to find alternatives.

Sentence Fluency 3. Vary conjunctions. For example: Oedipus and Jocasta leave the stage, and the Chorus enters. They announce that the world is ruled by destiny, and they denounce prideful men who would defy the gods. At the same time, the Chorus worries that if all the prophecies and oracles are wrong, and Jocasta enters from the palace.