Who Am I?

ASCA Standards A:A1.5 Identify attitudes and behaviors that lead to successful learning. PS:A1.2 Identify values, attitudes and beliefs PS:A2.2 Respect alternative points of view PS:A2.3 Recognize, accept, respect and appreciate individual differences

6th Grade Standards

I am always with you. I can help or hurt you I am always with you. I can help or hurt you. I can encourage you or discourage you. You control me. I am easily managed – you just have to tell me what to do. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am your servant. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

I am Habit “We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” ~English Poet We all have habits….both good and bad. We are going to do a book study about 7 habits that can change your life!

Do these sound familiar? “There’s too much work to do and not enough time. I’ve got school, homework, job, friends, parties and family on top of everything else. I’m totally stressed out! Help!” “How can I feel good about myself when I don’t match up? Everywhere I look I am reminded that someone else is smarter, or prettier, or more popular. I can’t help but think, ‘If I only had her hair, her clothes, her personality, her boyfriend, then I’d be happy.” “I feel like my life is out of control.” “My family is a disaster. If I could only get my parents off my back I might be abler to live my life. It seems they’re constantly nagging, and I can’t ever seem to satisfy them.” “I’m moody and get depressed often and I don’t know what to do about it” Think to yourself….do I sound like this sometimes? These are real problems that are a part of real life for teenagers Through these lessons – we are going to learn some tools to help you learn to deal with real life. We’re going to learn about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, but first let’s talk about the 7 Habits of Highly Defective Teens.

7 Habits of Defective Teens 5 minutes Defective Teens Brainstorm at your table some habits that you think “Defective Teens” may have. What are some bad habits that teens have – things they do that make their lives more difficult? * Hand out large sheet for circle map

7 Habits of Defective Teens React Begin with no end in mind Wear Yourself Out Put first things last Defective Teens Don’t Cooperate Brainstorm at your table some habits that you think “Defective Teens” may have. Think Win-Lose Seek first to talk, then pretend to listen

7 Habits of Defective Teens Blame all problems on parents, teachers, neighborhood, boy/girlfriend, government, or SOMEBODY else Act like an animal React Act like an animal. If you're hungry, eat. If someone yells at you, yell back. If you feel like doing something you know is wrong, just do it. 2 Don't have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for the moment. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for tomorrow we die. 3, Whatever is most important in your life, don't do it until you have spent sufficient time watching reruns, talking endlessly on the phone, surfing the Net, and lounging around. Always put off your homework until tomorrow. Make sure that things that don't matter always come before things that do. 4, See life as a vicious competition. Your classmate is out to get you, so you'd better get him or her first. Don't let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you. 5, You were born with a mouth, so use it. Make sure you talk a lot. Always express your side of the story first. Once you're sure everyone understands your views, then pretend to listen by nodding and saying "uh-huh." Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them. 6, Let's face it, other people are weird because they're different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork is for the dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything by yourself. Be your own island. 7, Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And, for heaven's sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you. Be a victim – take NO RESPONSIBILITY for your own life

7 Habits of Defective Teens Avoid goals at all costs Live for the moment…drink what you want…smoke what you want…party on…… Never think about tomorrow Begin w/ no end in mind 2 Don't have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for the moment. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for tomorrow we die. Why worry about consequences?

7 Habits of Defective Teens Don’t do things that are important to you without first watching a lot of TV, surfing the internet or texting your friends. Put First Things Last Always put off your homework til tomorrow. 3, Whatever is most important in your life, don't do it until you have spent sufficient time watching reruns, talking endlessly on the phone, surfing the Net, and lounging around. Always put off your homework until tomorrow. Make sure that things that don't matter always come before things that do. Always make sure that things that don’t matter come before things that do.

7 Habits of Defective Teens Always compete with other people Don’t let others succeed at anything b/c if they do that means you lose. Think Win-Lose 4, See life as a vicious competition. Your classmate is out to get you, so you'd better get him or her first. Don't let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you. 5, You were born with a mouth, so use it. Make sure you talk a lot. Always express your side of the story first. Once you're sure everyone understands your views, then pretend to listen by nodding and saying "uh-huh." Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them. 6, Let's face it, other people are weird because they're different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork is for the dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything by yourself. Be your own island. 7, Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And, for heaven's sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you. If you think you are going to lose, drag the other person down with you.

7 Habits of Defective Teens Always express your side of the story first. Always give your opinion, even if its not asked for. Seek first to talk, then pretend to listen Never listen to other people’s views. 4, See life as a vicious competition. Your classmate is out to get you, so you'd better get him or her first. Don't let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you. Only pretend to listen to others by nodding and saying “uh huh”.

7 Habits of Defective Teens People different from you are weird, so why try to get along with them? Teamwork is not cool Be your own island Don’t cooperate 6, Let's face it, other people are weird because they're different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork is for the dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything by yourself. Be your own island. 7, Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And, for heaven's sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you. You always have the best ideas so what’s the point in working with others?

7 Habits of Defective Teens Stay away from good books, nature or anything else that may inspire you. Be so busy with life that you never try to improve yourself. Wear Yourself Out Avoid exercise at all costs 7, Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. And, for heaven's sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you. Never save time to study or learn anything new

Your Habits: Compare and Contrast your Good and Bad Habits My Good Habits My Bad Habits On the backside of your worksheet, compare and contrast your bad and good habits.

Click on the book for a link to the 7 Habits music video

7 Habits of Defective Teens React Begin with no end in mind Wear Yourself Out Put first things last Defective Teens Don’t Cooperate Brainstorm at your table some habits that you think “Defective Teens” may have. Think Win-Lose Seek first to talk, then pretend to listen 18

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Habit 6: Synergize Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood The habits all build on each other. Habits 1,2, and 3 deal with self-mastery – “Private Victory” Habits 4, 5, and 6 deal with relationships and teamwork “Public Victory” You have to get your personal act together before you can be an effective team player. Habit 7 is both a private and a public victory – you need to renew and take care of yourself to be any good to anyone. Habit 4: Think Win-Win Habit 3: Put First Things First Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Habit 1: Be Proactive

7 Habits Can Help YOU! Get control of your life Improve your relationships with your friends. Make smarter decisions Get along with your parents. Overcome addiction Define your values and what matters most to you Get more done in less time Increase your self-confidence Be happy Find balance between school, work, friends and everything else.

Paradigms and Principals What you see is what you get!

Top 10 All Time Stupid Quotes Hand out quotes to students before class – ask them to share outloud.

And these are just as ridiculous! Have students read “student” quotes.

What is the common theme among all those quotes? They are all PERCEPTIONS about the way things are. They are all INACCURATE or INCOMPLETE, even though the people who said them truly believed them.

What do you see? What do you see in this picture? Our perceptions are all different

Saxophone player or woman?

How many legs does this elephant have How many legs does this elephant have? How does perception play a role in what you see?

Stare at these stairs for a few minutes… Stare at these stairs for a few minutes….tell me how your perspective changes? Have you ever just met a person and thought one thing about them, but after spending more time with them – your perception changes about them. You get to know more about them and realize they aren’t who you thought they were at all!

Perceptions……..Paradigms Paradigm - the way you see something, your point of view frame of reference or belief. Our paradigms are usually way off mark and limit us. You may be convinced that you will never get into college…or nobody likes you….remember, people used to be just as convinced that the earth was flat! If you believe certain things about yourself or your abilities (that are incorrect)…….that is all you will ever live up to.

If you believe…. You’re dumb, that very belief will make you dumb. Someone doesn’t like you…you will look for things to support your belief (even if there is really nothing to support it). You are never going to graduate high school….you won’t!

Positive Paradigms What does Kids At Hope teach you to believe about yourself? Why do we have you say the Kids At Hope pledge every day? To truly believe that we are talented, smart and capable of success. If you say things to yourself..outloud or in your head…you will start to believe them. Positive and Negative!

Paradigm Shift Just as negative self-paradigms can put limitations on us, positive self-paradigms can bring out the best in us.

Fixing our Paradigms What would you tell a friend who had negative perceptions of themselves? How do we learn to overcome these negative paradigms?

Improving our Paradigms Spend time with someone who believes in you and recognizes your potential….who is this person for you? Drop friends who tear you down or believe that you are like them (even though you aren’t)…who are those friends? Try to see things from another person’s point of view (your friend’s, your mother’s, your teacher’s).

“Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“If you don’t take control of your life, don’t complain when others do “If you don’t take control of your life, don’t complain when others do.” ~Beth Mende Conny

Paradigms of Others Cookie Story Seeing things from someone else’s point of view can make a difference in our attitudes toward others. Showing empathy toward a new student. Having patience with a moody friend b/c you know how it feels to have parents going through a divorce etc. Share cookie story from Chapter 1 Cookie Story

Cookie Reflection What were this lady’s feelings toward the man before the turn of events? What were her feelings after?

Don’t be quick to judge, label or form rigid opinions of others, or ourselves. From our limited point of view, we seldom see the whole picture or have all the facts. Most of your problems are a result of a messed up paradigm or two.

Perceptions of Others at School Girl Bully/Gossip Class Clown Cheerleader Jock Bully In your groups, brainstorm (circle map) every “perception” you would have about this person, if this was all you knew about them.

If You Really Knew Me… Let’s meet these people…. After the video…add any other perceptions you have of these people. Click Title for video

Who are these people…really. Using a different color, add the information that you just learned about these people. If your person was not in either video…add what you think they said during this part.

Walk The Line Think about this activity “Cross the line if you’ve ever been teased, hurt or humiliated.” “Did someone have to cross this line because of YOU?” http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/545995/the-line.jhtml#id=1644504

Friendships How many of you have ever been in an argument with someone you care about? Have you ever lost your best friend? Why? Have you ever had an argument, but were able to resolve it in the end? How? Click on title for video

Fixing Friend Problems How did the girls in the video resolve their problem? What did the cheerleader realize about her friend’s life in the end? How can we change our perceptions of others? How can we change other’s perceptions of us?

What’s inside? In advance prepare a can. Use a safety opener and open the can (from the bottom) – swap out the contents. Fill with starburst or something else unexpected. Then superglue lid back on. In class ask these questions What is inside the can? How do we know what is on the inside? What does the label say? Do you have a label on the outside of you? Open Can from not glued end – starburst inside Can we trust labels? Are the labels that are on your outside the same as what the inside contains? How can you find out if the outside and the inside are the same on someone – get to know them. We may think they are “rotten tomatoes” on the outside…but after getting to know them, we realize they are really sweet candy on the inside.

Your Labels Fold a piece of paper into thirds. On the outside “doors” write all the stuff people perceive about you. On the inside at the top write IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME, write things that people don’t always see on your label.