FUNDAMENTAL ASSUMPTIONS 1. Jesus requires any of his followers to forgive just as we have been forgiven. Ephesians 4:32—Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Colossians 3:13—Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

FUNDAMENTAL ASSUMPTIONS 2. Jesus requires all of his followers to adhere to a clear, simple process of reconciliation laid out for us in Matthew 6, 18 and Luke 17.

Matthew 18:16, 17-- “If your brother or sister  sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Luke 17:3, 4 “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. 4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

FUNDAMENTAL ASSUMPTIONS 3. Failure to do either of those two things faithfully puts us in a terrible place of discipline under God’s hand. The Lord’s Prayer: Mt. 6:12—“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

The Lord’s Promise: Mt. 6:14, 15—“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Mt. 18:23-35 “35 This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

#1. Reconciliation of deeply fractured relationships often requires the help of godly 3rd party mediators.

Philemon 1:1-2—”Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker— 2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home….” Philemon 1:23-24– “Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.”

2. Reconciliation will often require mediation through some spiritual authority.

#3. Reconciliation must reach as deeply and broadly as the rupture or offense did.

#4. Reconciliation must be covered, undergirded, surrounded by and immersed in GRACE. Philemon 1:3—Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Vs. 25--The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

#5. Reconciliation requires prayerful connections to God #5. Reconciliation requires prayerful connections to God. 4 “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ.” 

#5. Reconciliation requires prayerful connections to God #5. Reconciliation requires prayerful connections to God. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

#5. Reconciliation requires prayerful connections to God. Vs #5. Reconciliation requires prayerful connections to God. Vs. 22—And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.

#6. Reconciliation recognizes the good in both parties and helps them to see it in each other. I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

#6. Reconciliation recognizes the good in both parties and helps them to see it in each other. Vs. 11-- “Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.” Vs. 12—“I am sending him—who is my very heart—back to you. I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel.” Vs. 16— He is called “a dear brother” and “very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.”

#7. Reconciliation appeals to our forever family relationship in Jesus, not our fading positions in this life. Vs. 15-- Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—  16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.

Galatians 3:28-- There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Colossians 3:11-- Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian,  slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. I Corinthians 7:22-- For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.

#8. Reconciliation requires a real dealing with debts, a real settling of accounts. Where offenses and resulting hurts are concerned, there are only two currencies we can use: 1.) repentance 2.) forgiveness

Forgiveness is the only currency that ever led to reconciliation