Best Practices for Creating an Inclusive Environment for LGBT Best Practices for Creating an Inclusive Environment for LGBT* Youth Created by: Tosha Arriola Presented by: Ann Tapia and Andy Wertz

Ground Rules for Sensitive Discussions Respect and acceptance Confidentiality Openness Right to pass Speak your truth Ann Slide Sensitivity to Diversity—We will remember that people in the group may differ in cultural background, sexual orientation, and/or gender identity or gender expression and will be careful about making insensitive or careless remarks. Respect—Give undivided attention to the person who has the floor (permission to speak). • Confidentiality—What we share in this group will remain in this group. • Openness—We will be as open and honest as possible without disclosing others’ (family, neighbors, or friends) personal or private issues. It is okay to discuss situations, but we won’t use names or other ID. For example, we won’t say, “My older brother …” Instead we will say, “I know someone who …” • Right to Pass—It is always okay to pass (meaning “I’d rather not” or “I don’t want to answer”). • Nonjudgmental Approach—We can disagree with another person’s point of view without putting that person down. • Taking care to claim our opinions—We will speak our opinions using the first person and avoid using ‘you’. For example, “I think that kindness is important.” Not, “You are just mean.” Acceptance—It is okay to feel uncomfortable; adults feel uncomfortable, too, when they talk about sensitive and personal topics, such as sexuality.

Be aware of your own attitudes and biases Reflective questions to think about: 1. Which issues are difficult for me to talk about, and why? 2. Are there situations in which my discomfort manifests as hostility or negativity? 3. What do I need to do or learn in order to deal with these topics comfortably? 4. Think of a specific instance when you heard insensitive language or saw injustice against a member of the LGBT+community. What did you do? What could you have done differently? Some may have positive biases and some may have negative biases. We need to be aware and learn to listen to each other to gain a better understanding. SILENT REFLECTION TIME: audience will jot responses down on the back of their materials, and we will continue to discuss at end Sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, sexual or romantic relationships? Many people do not possess the appropriate vocabulary or have not read enough about the topic to have a comfort level that allows them to engage in a meaningful conversation. Some people are afraid that they may offend someone, others just have never personally known a gay, bisexual, or transgender person, and others have heard that it is against their religion to discuss these topics

Values Exercise I will read a statement and based on how you feel about it, you will move to the AGREE, DISAGREE, or UNSURE signs. No right or wrong answers These are opinions probably based on your experiences/beliefs Have the right to pass which is not the same as unsure Can change your stance at any time I may ask a few people to share how they feel about the statements since knowing about other people’s values helps us understand them better. Audience members will talk amongst their group during the activity. If discussion is minimal, we will ask representatives to share for the group. • Deliberately hurting other people is never okay. • Using ‘put downs’ like ‘faggot’ or ‘that’s so gay’ is okay because everyone does it. • Bisexuality is a myth. No one is really bisexual; they’re just confused. • A gay, lesbian, or bisexual teenager should be able to take a date of the same sex to the prom. • If transgender people or lesbians or gays are in the “wrong place” at the “wrong time”, they deserve the harassment they might get. • Everyone should have the same rights, regardless of sex, race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender identity. • It’s okay for religious and political leaders to say things against GLBTQ people because it’s just their own opinion. • Transgender people should be treated like the gender they really are, not the gender they say are. • If I see or hear someone harassing one of my GLBTQ peers, it is my responsibility to step in and stop it. Post Activity Reflection Questions:

Understand Homophobia’s Impact on LGBT* Youth 98.1% of LGBT* students heard “gay” used in a negative way frequently or often at school, and 93.4% reported that they felt distressed because of this language. 95.8% of LGBTQ students heard other types of homophobic remarks (e.g., “dyke” or “faggot”); 58.8% heard this type of language frequently or often. 56.2% of students reported hearing homophobic remarks from their teachers or other school staff. The following statistics are based on the GLSEN (Gay Lesbian & Straight Education Network) 2015 National School Climate Survey Andy Slide Take a minute to write down your thoughts about those powerful statistics. What stands out to you? These statistics impact depression rates, suicide rates, homelessness, and drug and alcohol abuse rates of our youth. These statistics impact how safe and accepted students feel at school which then impacts academic success and increases dropout rates.

NC Statistics

Heterosexual Questionnaire Reflection Questions: 1. Did you find the questions hard to answer? Were some harder than others? Which? What, specifically, was so difficult? 2. How did the questions make you feel? 3. What does it say about our society that gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are asked similar questions? 4. What can you do in the future if you hear someone asking such questions? We are all learning here and as a gay man, I want to know a few things about you. Heteronormative A viewpoint that expresses heterosexuality as a given instead of being one of many possibilities. Often expressed subtly, heterosexuality is widely "accepted" as the default sexuality by both print and electronic media, education, law makers, and a range of attitudes expressed by society in general. The subtle assumption of heterosexuality can be very harmful to those who do not entirely fit within its bounds. A Heteronormative assumption that a boy will grow up and marry a woman.

Take Action to Stop Harassment of LGBT* Students 1. Address the harassment 2. Put the focus on the bully 3. Name the harassment and its consequences 4. Check in with the person being attacked Assess if You are Physically Safe to handle the Situation • Sometimes it isn’t safe to intervene when you witness discrimination or harassment. If you are afraid for your own physical safety, quickly go and find an adult who can help. • If you feel you are not physically in danger, then proceed to step 2. 1. Address the Harassment • Interrupt the interaction. • Say something like, “Hey, John is my friend, stop harassing him!” or “Leave John alone.” Bullies often back down when someone calls them on their behavior. 2. Put the Focus on the Bully • Say something like, “You just put John down. That is really disrespectful.” • Put the spotlight on the bully’s behavior. Do NOT say anything to imply that the person being harassed belongs to the group just named. 3. Name the Harassment and its Consequences • Identify the offense and its consequences: “Calling someone names is rude and hurtful.” and it violates our rule of respecting others. You can be written up for this offense “Pushing others around in not okay.” 4.• Quietly, check in with the person who was harassed: “Are you okay?” “Do you want to talk?”

Empower Youth and Staff to Be Activists and Allies Look at the lists: Put a check next to to 2 or 3 things that you are willing to do today or this week to be supportive. Record it on your sheet.

10 ways to Support LGBT* Youth 1. Be a friend to LGBT* students. 2. When you hear homophobic or transphobic comments, calmly assert your belief in everyone’s right to be treated with dignity and respect. 3. Join or establish a gender sexuality alliance (GSA) in your school or community. 4. Advocate for staff training like SAFE Zone training or student wide character development about LGBT* issues. 5. Ask to speak with leaders about the importance of ‘zero tolerance’ policies for homophobic and transphobic comments and actions. 6. Write a letter to the editor of your city and/or school newspaper. 7. Ask for a panel discussion on LGBT* issues including LGBT* youth participation. 8. Allow students flexibility in the dress code that honors each person’s individuality and unique gender expression. 9. Ask that all teens be able to bring a date of their own choosing to the prom, dances, parties, etc. 10. Create and distribute a list of community resources for LGBT* youth.

References www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/safespace/ http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Heteronormative https://www.glsen.org/sites/default/files/2015%20National%20GLSEN%2020 15%20National%20School%20Climate%20Survey%20%28NSCS%29%20- %20Full%20Report.pdf https://www.glsen.org/sites/default/files/North%20Carolina%20State%20Sna pshot%20-%20NSCS.pdf

Contact Information ANN TAPIA 6TH GRADE ENGLISH LANGUAGE ARTS PIEDMONT OPEN IB MIDDLE ANNN.TAPIA@CMS.K12.NC.US ANDY WERTZ 9TH GRADE ENGLISH & FILM PHILLIP O. BERRY ACADEMY OF TECHNOLOGY WILLIAMA.WERTZ@CMS.K12.NC.US